A Taste of Smashiness!
by BraveMerida
Summary: (Disclaim: I don't own any Smash trademarks or legal stuff. Amazing, I know.) The Smashers live in one place: The Smash Mansion. All is well there; until their chef quits because no one gives two damns about him. Now what will these beloved (and somewhat deranged) Smashers do? -Because I'm trying to figure that out myself... RATED TEEN BECAUSE I CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH A FANFIC.
1. Chapter One: Chef for Hire

"I QUIT!"

The Super Smash Bros. Mansion chef, Silver the Hedgehog, who was cover with tomato sauce, threw his chef hat on the ground and headed to the door.

Falco walked in and stopped him. "Whoa. Why are you leaving, Slave?" Falco asked.

"First off," said Silver, counting. "I get no respect around this place! Second, THIS." (He dramatically motioned to his ruined weave) "And finally, it's been two months since my last paycheck! This boy can only put up with so much! Adios!"

"Oh, pull it together, Sla- I mean, Silver. Of course you get respect. Everybody loves-"

"HEY, WHITE TRASH THE HEGDEHOG!" Yelled Bowser as he stomped into the messy kitchen. "WHERE IS MY GRUB?!"

"Yeah! My tummy needs nourishment, Cottonball Head!" Declared Bowser Jr. as he rode in.

Silver looked over at the two turtles (yes, they're turtles), then back at Falco. "GOODBYE," he mumbled through his teeth and flew off.

"Just great." Falco sighed. "There goes my piece of cake."

"Cake?! Did I hear CAKE?!" Rosalina asked as she stuck her head in.

"No. What you heard is your lumas make the ex-chief want to drive off a clift." said Bowser Jr. as he motioned to the seven lumas in the kitchen who caused the Italian food explosion, covered with pasta and tomato sauce.

"Oh, poor things..." she sighed.

Brower raised a eyebrow at the princess. "YEAH, RIGHT!" he grumbled. "THEIR NOT THE ONES THAT NEED A NEW YUM-YUM COOKER!"

"Just relax, Bowsers-es?" Falco said, staring at the Bowers. "We can just hire somebody else."

"On the internet!" said Bowser Jr.

"To the thing that earth people waste their time on!" suddenly declared Rosalina.

"It's called a computer." Falco answered as everybody but the lumas began leaving the kitchen.

"Oh, right. Heh heh. Sorry, I'm new to this place of gravity."

* * *

The four threw open the double doors of the Smash library and strolled in. They headed strait for the back where the computers were.

"Alright, kids. Hands off. It's our turn to use the internet." Said Falco as they approached Ness and Larry, who were using the lastest computers.

"Hold on! Hold on!" Larry demanded, not looking up from the screen. "We're finishing something!"

"Yeah, it's important!" Declared Ness as he furiously typed on the keyboard. Five seconds later he stopped, turned to the adults, and asked "Hey, do any of you got a credit card we can use?"

Bowser was about to pull a debt card out for Larry's sake when Falco just pushed the two ankle-biters off the chairs. He and Rosalina then sat down.

"Ouch!" mourned Larry from the floor.

"Hey, save it for the battlefield!" Ness yelled at the bird.

Rosalina gave him a pity face, but that was clearly all the sympathy the two kids were going to receive.

"Well, this bombs." Larry said. He turned to Browser Jr. "Come on, bro! Lets go dig up land mines!"

"Woo-hoo!" Declared the three kids as they ran out.

Falco rolled his eyes as he logged into a job website. He typed afew things in (it took him quite awhile because he had feathers; not fingers), and suddenly a dozen job applicants appeared on the screen.

"Ohh! Pretty pictures!" Rosalina declared as she clapped her hands.

"Yeah, ain't it great?" Falco sarcastically asked.

They studied the screen for a few moments before Bowser yelled, "I LIKE THE ONE WITH THE BOWLING TATOO!"

"No, no, no. I think we should hire the girl with the purple haircut." Said Rosalina.

"Is this website for hiring chefs or criminal?" Falco asked himself.

Master Hand was at the other side of the library the whole time, reading a old book you probably wouldn't recognize, when he heard the noise. He put down his reading glasses (?!) and floated over.

"What is with all the noise?" He asked as he came up.

Bowser looked at the somewhat leader of the mansion. "WE'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW SLAVE TO MAKE THE YUM-YUMS!"

"Silver quit," Explained Falco.

"Yes, so we are now in search for a new chef," Rosalina finished. "Ooh, can we hire the one who makes cookies out salmon?"

"Ew, no way. How about the dude who raises his own meat? He's only $150 a hour and-"

"We can't hire a new cook." Master Hand said as he unplugged the computer.

"What?!" Falco and Rosalina exclaimed.

"BUT I WANT MY TUMMY FILLERS!" Declared Bowser.

"I'm sorry, but Silver was the only chef we could afford."

"Why?" Asked Rosalina.

"Because of YOU!" Master Hand answered. "Well, you, Mega Man, Robin, Dark Pit, Pac-Man, Villager, Wii Fit Trainer, Shulk... All the newcomers, really. You see, because of the new people, we had to build ANOTHER extension on the mansion; and thanks to that our budget is pretty tight. So we stopped paying Silver. Wow, I'm surprised it took him so long to quit!"

"SO, WHO COOKS THEM GOODIES NOW, TALKING GLOVE?!" Asked Bowser.

"Well, me and Crazy Hand figured you Smashers can take turns cooking meals. That'll save us a lot of money."

"Ugh. That's lame." Falco scoffed, waving away Master Hand's ludicrous reasoning. "Why don't we just build a Wendy's on the lawn or something?"

"Oh! We can kick out the Smash rejects. Like Snake and Lucas!" Cheered Rosalina.

"I LIKE PRINCESS IDEA. ROY ANNOYS ME."

"Sorry, they have to stay." Said Master Hand, making a shrugging motion. "Ya know, DLCs, trophies, ect."

"Okay, fine." Said Falco, admitting defeat. "So who's gonna cook tonight?"

"You can, smart mouth."

"WHAT?! I can't cook!"

"Rosalina can help you." Answered Master Hand as he floated away. "Oh, and futhermore; you got a hour before everybody comes back from battling or-"

KA-BOMB!

"-Digging up land mines. Ughhh..."

"RRRRAAAAHHHH!" Falco screamed as he pushed the computer on the ground.

"Your paying for that!"

* * *

**Hi! BraveMerida here! I'm the writer of this randomness. **

**Well, I hope your going to like my first-ever Super Smash Bros. story. Don't worry, it's going to get even crazier in this fanfic! so stay tuned!**

**Please leave a review. I'll forever think your awesome if you do! =D**


	2. Chapter Two: Can Rosalina Make Toast?

"YUM-YUMS! BIRDY AND STAR ROYALTY MUST MAKE YUM-YUMS!" Declared Bowser as he carried today's chefs to the kitchen.

"No way!" answered Falco. "I refuse to be slave-like!"

"Oh, goody! We make earth food now!" Said Rosalina as they entered the kitchen.

After Bowser put the two down, they looked around and found that the lumas did a good job cleaning all the sause off the walls.

Oh, and those trouble-makers ate all the cake.

"Shoot!" declared Falco. "Now what am I gonna do while Rosalina does my work?!"

"NOT MY PROBLEM, FEATHER BOY!" Bowser answered as he began to leave.

"Hey! Where you think your going?!"

"GOT TO KICK TOON LINK'S BUTT AT BOXING RING. BYE, YUMMIEST COOKERS!"

With that, the king left the building.

Falco turned to Rosalina and found her staring at a toaster.

"What are you up to, Princess?" he asked.

She looked up. "Look! This box-like creation shows me my reflection!"

"..."

"Isn't that amazing?"

"Your... A lot dumber than you look." Falco finally said. "Oh, whatever."

He then turned his attention to the double door fridge. He opened it and looked inside.

"Yup. No cake." he sighed. "But we got the ingredients to make stuffing!"

"We're gonna make teddy bears?" Rosalina asked, not once taking her eyes off the box-like creation.

"What? No! We're making stuffing the food."

Falco began naming foods as he threw them on the kitchen counter.

"Bread!"

FLING!

"Eggs!"

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

"Celery!"

TONK!

"Apples!"

WAM! WAM! WAM!

"We need apples for stuffing?" asked Rosalina.

"Wow. Your learning!" Falco rolled his eyes as he grabbed the last of the ingredients. He picked up the bread from the floor and handed it to her. "Here, reflection lover. Since you like that thing so much, you might as well know how it works."

He put two pieces of bread into the slots and pushed the lever down.

"Hey, they disappeared!" The Princess declared in shock.

"Incredible, right? But wait! It gets better."

POP! Out came the toast!

"Oh, my gosh!" Rosalina cheered.

"Ta-da!" Falco finished his sarcastic demonstration. "Now, just do the same thing with the rest of the bread, okay?"

"Yes! Got it!"

"Yeah, great." Falco rolled his eyes and went over to the kitchen counter. "Now to actually get some work done!"

He picked up a apple and began chopping it.

...And, there went all the feathers on his left wing.

"Shoot."

He decided to move on to something else. He grabbed the celery and put the whole thing in the food processor.

"Hmm... Diced or sliced? I think I'll go with demolished, just to be safe."

He pushed the button with a skull and cross-bones and hoped for the best.

_Whirl whirl whirl whirl whirl **Ka-BOOOM!**_

R.I.P. Celery

"Dang it!" Falco yelled as he grabbed what's left of the machine and threw it on the floor. "Now we don't go anything left to make the stuffing!"

"Yes, we do!"

Falco turned around. There was Rosalina, surrounded by around a hundred pieces of toast!

"Rosalina! When I said toast the rest of the bread, I ment just the one loaf; not all the bread in the kitchen!"

"Oh." Said the princess. "Well, at least I didn't destroy anything in the process."

Falco had to admit, she did had a point.

...And everything to save dinner!

* * *

"COME ON GET IT!" Declared Falco as he rang the supper bell.

"Let'sa go!" "Prepare yourself!" "Try me." "Rah!" "You're too slow!" "BEEEP!" "Peachy!" "I'm really feeling it!" Smashers exclaimed as they ran into the dinning room to attack the food. (You can take a guess on who said what.)

They all stopped short when they saw what was on the menu.

Toast! Toast EVERYWHERE! -And plenty on toppings. Like cream cheese, jam, butter; you name it.

"Is this a joke?" Asked Meta Knight.

"Nope!" Answered Rosalina. "It's dinner."

"What?!" Declared Roy.

"Yeah," said Falco. "Master Hand forced us to make YUM-YUMS," (He raised his eyebrows at Browser) "and we did. Enjoy."

Everyone looked over at Master Hand, making plans to destroy the glove once and for all.

-Well, everyone but Crazy Hand. He looked over at his friend for a second, then declared "I DON'T CARE WHAT WE'RE EATING! I DON'T HAVE TASTEBUDS! LET ME AT THE FOOOOOOOOD!" as he attacked the toast.

The other smashers took a hint from the glove and began eating as well. They'll make Falco and Rosalina pay for the blandness later.

"YAAHH! I GOT MY YUMMIES!"

* * *

**Alright, now for afew words from our writer:**

**First off, I don't see Rosalina as a idiot. In fact, I think she's one of the best princesses Nintendo ever threw at us. I just wanted to take advantage of her being from space. Ya know, kinda like "Thor", but with less violence. I guess.**

**And second, yes, I know Crazy Hand doesn't have a mouth or eyes, ect. Let me make something clear: Logic is going to fly out the window A LOT during this fan-fic. So fair warning.**

**That said, thank you for reading! Wow, the first chapter go around 100 views in just 48 hours! That makes me go giddy! =)**

**Leave a review if you care. (Please, please, PLEASE care!)**


	3. Chapter Three: Boogie Wonderland

The next morning, everybody woke up at a different time (as always). Because each of them were starving the minute they woke up (as always), Master Hand told everyone in the dinning room the night before that there'll be no one cooking breakfast for now on. Each smasher can just raid the kitchen for Pop Tarts or something.

But Zelda missed the memo. She was gone all day wig shopping. She's Sheik, after all.

So when she woke up the next morning (9:50 A.M.), she was surprised Silver wasn't screaming about food in his hair.

She walked out of her bedroom and went strait to the kitchen that was just down the hall. She was just a few steps away from the door when she heard... Strange noises from the inside.

"Ugh! Get. It. In. There! Ugh, I was so close!"

"Just relax..."

Zelda hesitated, but decided to just burst in.

Inside, was Snake and Palutena! -Trying to put all the boxes of cereal they accidentally dropped on the floor back in the top cabinet.

"Come on! Come on already!" Yelled Snake as he jumped up and down.

"Snake," said Palutena, who was just sitting on the counter watching. "You can use my help-"

"No! I made this mess, I'll fix-"

Suddenly, all the boxes just floated back to their place.

They turned around and found Zelda at the doorway, somewhat annoyed.

"Good morning, Princess!" Said Palutena with a wave.

"Yeah, what she said." Mumbled Snake.

"Yes, good morning." Zelda answered as she took a seat. "So, what is for breakfast today?"

"Oh, we have to make to make our own breakfast for now on." Said Palutena. "I came in here for a meal to find Snake making a huge mess just for a bowl of cereal!"

"I would of cleaned it eventually. I didn't need your help."

"I didn't do that. I could of; but I didn't."

"I did." Said Zelda. "But only because they noise was rather... Um... Annoying?"

"Good enough." Snake shrugged, his ego still clearing damaged.

"Well, thanks to you good sir, I don't got the time to grab my meal." Sighed Palutena as she got up. "I got a battle with Luigi and Jiggypuff in five minutes."

"Yeah, I should get going, too." Agreed Zelda as she grabbed a orange. "I got pick something up at the wig shop. -Do not ask."

The two ladies just left the kitchen when Master Hand came in.

"Oh, good! Snake! I'm glad I found you here. Listen, you got to cook lunch, okay? Great! Bye!"

"Wait, what?!" Snake yelled.

But it was too late; the hand was gone.

"Ugh!" Mourned the fighter.

Suddenly, Peach came skipping in.

"Hello!" She cheered. "I heard unhappiness, so I came to see what was wrong. Are you okay?"

"No!" Snake declared. "I have to make lunch, I'm not in Smash anymore, and I can't take smoke breaks because this is a K+ story! I really hate this place sometimes."

"Don't worry. I can help you!"

"Ha. Yeah right, Pinky."

"No, really! I can make lunch!"

That got his attention. "You can?"

"Oh, yes! Just watch."

Peach pulled a radio out of the dress (?!), turned on some One Direction ("I regret this already..." Snake mumbled to himself.), and began to dance.

**KA-TONK!**

* * *

Around two hours later, Snake woke up.

"Ugh..." He mourned as he picked himself up. "What the heck happened?"

Peach looked up. "Oh, your up! Peachy!"

"What. The. Heck. Happened?"

"Oh, I make peaches appear from dancing!" she motioned to all the 4-foot-tall peaches lying around. "But, it also makes people fall asleep. Oh, well. You can't have it all."

Snake rubbed his head in pain. "Ugh, you could of gave me a warning."

"Sorry! Heh heh!"

Snake sighed. "Well, we better take this... Mutated fruit to the dinning room."

"Okay dokay!"

They each carried two at a time and headed out.

But, it turns out the smashers were already in the dinning room. And they were steaming mad.

"About time you showed up!" Yelled Wario.

"I'm soooo hungry!" Mourned Villager.

"Wait. Is that ALL the food you made?!" Exclaimed Lucina.

"Oh, no!" Said Peach. "There's dozens more where these came from."

"Pika!" Cheered Pikachu.

"Thank goodness." Said Pac-Man.

"Well, enough mourning!" Declared Sonic. "Lets eat!"

"Beep boop boop beep!" Said R.O.B.

"ATTACK!"

They charged at Snake and Peach. They grabbed the peaches and in 30 seconds they were gone. Seeds and all.

"Don't just stand there like the idiots y'all are!" Exclaimed Little Mac. "Go get the rest!"

The two did as they were told; not wanting to see what would happen if they didn't.

Just another meal time at the Smash Mansion.

* * *

**Well, that happened.**

**Listen, I know the Smashers sound like barbarians when it comes to eating; and that's the point. They beat the daylights out of their friends for a living. What did you expect?**

**Besides, which is more funny: Them tearing food into their mouths; or them sitting at the dinner table, napkins on their laps, eating like royalty and talking about politics? EXACTLY.**

**Oh, and Toon Link won, redwalrus12. Thank you for asking!**

**And I absolutely LOVE the request y'all sent. I'll hopefully get to them, but first I want Shulk, Luigi, and Greeninja to cook together first.**

**Please leave a review!**


	4. Chapter Four: Lunchtime with Shulk

"HEY! What time is it?"

"Spaghetti time?"

"No! It's MEALTIME WITH SHULK!"

_*Insert Cheesy-but-Awesome Videogame Music Theme Song*_

"Heyo! And welcome, fellow FanFiction fanatics! It is I; Shulk! And today I have two guess chefs: Luigi and Greninja. Say hi to the people, buddies!"

"Hi to the people, buddies!"

"Greninja,"

"Alrighty! And for lunch today we're-"

"Shulk? What are you doing?"

The three "chefs" look over and saw Lucario at the doorway, somewhat confused.

"Hiya, buddy!" Shulk waved as he paused the video camera. "Master hand told us we had to make lunch. So I decided to borrow Samus' video camera and make a YouTube video of it! Everybody loves Smash Bros.!"

"Why would Samus- I don't wanna know." Lucario rubbed his forehead.

"Greninja," said (duh) Greninja with a wave.

"Heyo!" Luigi cheered. "Guess what, Lucario! We're making-"

"I've stopped caring." Lucario mumbled as he walked away.

"Okay, bye!"

"Alright!" Shulk turned the camera back on. "Today we're making our Smashing friends a special treat! A Colony 9 delicacy: Native Chili! We can definitely do this!" He pulled the recipe out of his pocket and smacked it on the counter.

"Greninja, Greni-ni-ni-ja!"

"Why is it native, Shulk?"

"No idea! Now, somebody grab the ingredients. I got to find another camera."

"Why?"

"Greninja?"

"Because Luigi is going to spill peanut oil on it in two minutes!" Shulk yelled over his shoulder as he left the kitchen.

Luigi and Greninja looked at each other, and just shrugged. Luigi picked up the recipe and read the ingredients out loud.

"Um, bacon?"

"Greninja!" he picked up a bag of the stuff from the fridge and tossed it on the counter.

"Celery?"

"Gre-re-re-ninja!"

"How about tomatos?"

"Greninja, Greninja,"

"Carrots?"

"Greni-ni-ni-ja!"

"Oil?"

"Gre... Greninja? Greninja!"

Luigi looked up. He found Greninja trying to grab the oil from the top of the fridge, but he couldn't reach it.

"Greninja!" JUMP "Greninja!" JUMP "GRENINJA!" JUMP **CRASH!**

"Oh, brother." Luigi sighed as he helped him up. "Don't worry, pal. Luigi got this!"

Luigi did a jump and knocked the oil down. **KLANG!** The cooking substance covered the camera and lit it on fire.

"Ooooh noooo!" he cried.

Greninja rolled his eyes. With a flick of a finger, he splashed water on the camera and put the flames out. Before Luigi could start worrying like crazy, Shulk came strutting carrying one of those huge video camera's from the 80's.

"And once again, I was right!" declared the blonde.

"Oh, Shulk! Luigi so sorry!"

"We haven't lost yet, buddy. But we have to extra carful with this one. Duck Hunt doesn't know I borrow it. So we better be quick."

Shulk set the camera up, pushed record, and began throwing stuff into a pot like they were playing basketball.

"Shulk heads down the court like mad. He tosses the bacon to Greninja, who throws it in the pot like a TOTAL. BOSS."

"Greeeeeninja!"

"Atta boy! Now, Shulk grabs the tomatoes and speeds off. He goes left; break right! He hands off to Luigi, who... drops it."

"Whoops. Sorry."

"Don't worry; we got more. Shulk tosses them to the pot-" _plop plop plop _"SCORE! Heck yeah, baby!"

After about seven minutes of that, all the ingredients were in. "Now al we have to do is let it simmer for ten minutes, and BAM!" (Shulk did a exploding sound and hand motion) "Chow time!"

"Oh boy! Yummy!"

"Greninja,"

"Alright, while we wait, lets answer some questions from fans!"

"Greninja!"

Shulk pulled his smartphone out and began flipping through it. "Okay. So first up on our Q&amp;A is this Q from adventuremaker16 : 'Luigi, You have been with the smashers scince the beginning and i have a question: Which of the 3 newcomers would you like to be friends with: Duck Hunt, PAC-MAN, or Robin'"

"Oh, um..." Luigi mumbled as he scratched his head. "Actually, Luigi's been friends with Duck Hunt for awhile now. We both have the same favorite movie. We have tons of sleep-overs!"

"Greninja Greninja?"

"Oh, it's Toy Story 2."

"Greninja..."

"Oh, cool!" Shulk pumped his fist in the air. "So, it's okay if we break this camera, too?"

"Say-a what?"

"Oh, nothing! Now, next one is from Thehobkinauthor : 'Shulk. What Elemental special(Jump, Buster, speed, attack, and defense) Do you think is the best?' Gee, thanks for asking! I guess it'll have to be attack. Do you have any idea how helpful that is when it comes to the last cookie?"

"Greni-ni-ni-ja?!"

"Alright, alright, alright, here's a Q for you from... oh, adventuremaker16 again: 'Greninja, How do you feel about Mewtwo comimg in spring 2015 as DLC?'"

"Greninja, Gre...ninja, Greninja Greninja Greeeeninja."

_(Translation: Actually, I am quite excited. He broke my PlayStation last week, so my time of revenge shall come at last! BWA HA HA!)_

"Wait," said Shulk. "You own a PlayStation?!"

"Greninja!"

"Awesome! Can I bor-"

"Greeeeninjaaaaa."

"Oh, fine. So next one is from TheFinalBrawler : 'I would ask Shulk if he was addicted to any anime of some sort :P'"

"Ohhh!" cheered Luigi. "This should be good!"

"Well, right now I'm really into 'Bee and Puppycat' (don't judge me, kids). It's crazy amazing. I've watched every episode!"

"Which is around four..."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE, LUIGI!"

"Wahhhh!"

"Serves yo' right! Now, the last one is another Q from adventuremaker16 : 'Shulk, what's it like battling against all the smashers and would you like Fiora to visit you and to cheer you out?' Dang, I'm popular today!"

"Greninja, Greninja..."

"Well, first off, Smashing is epic! I don't like to brag, but I'm a total BEAST on the battlefield. They all don't know what hit them!"

"It's true! Luigi got the burses to back Shulk up!"

"Hey, thanks buddy. Now second, of course! That would be just what I need. In fact, I wish she was cooking with us right now."

"Ahahaha! Shulk and Fiora sitting in a-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE, LUIGI!"

"Waah!"

_**BING!**_

"Gre-e-e-ninja!"

"Oh, boy! The chili is ready!"

Shulk tossed his smartphone aside and ran over to the pot. He lifted the lid to find the feast steaming hot.

"Greninjaaaaaa..." he mourned has he held his nose and waved the air around.

"Oh, what do you know." Shulk put his favorite cooking gloves on (they had kitties all over them) and picked the pot up. "Come along, you guys! I would ask you two to bring bowls; but the Smashers aren't going to use them."

"Ewww!" Luigi made his signature scared face.

"Greninja." the Pokémon just surged his shoulders.

The gang headed to the dinning room, with Luigi carrying the video camera. They were just about to burst in when Shulk stopped right in front of the door.

"Greninja!?"

"What's wrong, Shulk? Are you seeing something?"

Shulk stared into space for second, then just shook his head. "Oh, nothing." he finally answered. "But, hey, why don't our good friend Greninja carries the pot in?" He made a huge, somewhat creepy smile towards Greninja.

"Greeeninja?..."

"Oh, just because. After all, you did do all the work -zip it!" (Shulk shot a look at Luigi, who was about to protest." "-and don't you want to get all the credit you deserve, buddy boy?"

Greninja was suspicious, but he decided to agree. After all, he could use some street cred. Maybe after this, he'll FINALLY get the last cookie!

So he took the pot and went through the door.

Big mistake.

"Show me your moves!"** BANG! CRASH!** "Hands off my prey!" **POW!** "Prepare yourself." "Hiiii!" **SMASH! CRUCH! **"Take this! Triple finish!" **PLOP! BOOM! **"Oh, that Nintendo thing..." "We're gonna have fun with this thing!" **SPLASH!**

"_GREEEEEENIIIIIINJAAAAA!_"

"This is a good result!" declared Shulk as he and Luigi high fived.

"Bang bang!"

* * *

**Oh, poor Greninja. Well, he did have it coming. You don't insult Shulk's cooking!**

**Thank you to all the questions! I hope to do another Lunchtime w/ Shulk in the future, so if you want to ask a question next time, leave a review and I'll PM you when it's time.**

**So, the next chapter will probably take even longer than this one to come out; so please understand. This art of FanFiction takes time to perfect. LOL!**

**Thank you for taking the time to read this! Your awesome!**

**(P.S. Yes, I just did a Smosh parody. And you're welcome.)**


	5. Chapter Five: Fox, Just Zip It

"Pika! Pika!"

Mario burst into the game room. "Mario hears happiness!" he declared. "What's up?"

Link, Samus, Pikachu, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, and Kirby all looked up from their game of Poker. "Oh, hey! Mario!" singed Kirby. "Your back early,"

"Yeah. Mario number one! That, and little Mac kept jumping off the stage. So, can I join your game?"

"Of course!" exclaimed Link. "Yoshi, re-shuffle the deck!"

Yoshi nodded. And with a flick of a tail he swallowed all the cards, shook his belly three times, laid a egg, cracked it open, and started dealing the cards.

"Oh yeah!" said Mario as he picked up his cards and threw five mushrooms onto the table as a bet. "Man, this is just like old times, right, guys?'

"Heck yeah," answered Samus as she bet a laser shooter.

"Ooh ooh aww!" Donkey Kong agreed (I guess).

"Hey, where be Fox? He a-missing all the fun!"

"Um... we didn't invite him, Mario." Kirby finally spilled.

"What?!" Mario was outraged.

"Pika Pika Pika!"

"Yeah, dude." agreed Samus. "Just relax."

"No way; no how. Why did you all shun Fox? He's our friend! He's one of the back bones of The Original Eight!"

The others shared concerned looks. "Mario," said Link. "Fox... well... isn't who he use to be."

"Say a-what?"

"Yeah. Fox has changed." answered Kirby. "I mean, a **LOT**."

"He's not the Fox we became friends with," finished Link.

"What the heck are-a you all-"

Suddenly, the man- oops, I mean, Fox- in question came strutting into the game room. He was wearing a KISS t-shirt under a leather jacket, ripped up jeans tucked into his combat boots, and dark shades. He somehow use hair gel to turn the fur on the top of his head into a Mohawk.

And then there's his _voice._

"Heyo, gang!" his somewhat 14-year-old-like voice boomed. "Ohhhhh! Poker! Awwwsooome!"

Mario puked a little in his mouth. "Oh, right. I forgot. He has become... _This._"

"Yeah," agreed Kirby. "Meta Knight has a theory of how this happened to Fox. It's pretty graphic; so I'll just say it involves a basin and five gallons of Mountain Dew."

"Tingle says it was because there's no space in air; no matter what Jimmy Neutron says." Link added.

"Hey, yo all talking about me, hu?" Fox asked the most annoying way possible.

"Yoshi!" declared Yoshi as he shook his fist.

"Yoshi! Language!" Mario called out.

"Soooo," Fox said as he stretched right in front of them, not caring if they were uncomfortable about it or not. "Can I join in, or can I join in?"

Everyone's eyes grew big. They didn't want to be in the same room as the dipstick for more than fifty seconds, left alone play _poker _with him. He'll probably bet jellybeans and cheat like crazy all while talking about My Little Pony with his doggone _voice_.

"Gee, Fox," mumbled Kirby as he slowly took steps away from the table. "But I just remember I have to... go battle with... Mega Man... and... Ike! Yeah!"

"Okay," Fox boomed. "But how about ya stay and-"

"Nope-got-to-go-see-all-of-you-except-Fox-later!" Kirby ran off and jumped out a window. "**FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM!**"

_**CRASH!**_

"Worth it!" Kirby cried from the ground.

"Pika pika PIKA!" "Ooh aah haa ooh!" declared Pikachu and Donkey Kong as they jumped after him.

_**CRASH!** **CRASH!**_

"Ooooh. Ah ooh aah?"

"Your welcome, Donkey Kong." groaned Kirby. "It was a honor to break your fall."

Fox was still too busy stretching to give a damn that his "friends" might of broke a few bones. He turned to everyone else who was still in the room. "Anyone up for a game with the world renowned ME?"

Link, Mario, and Yoshi shared worried glances. Samus, on the other hand, fell asleep with her feet on the table.

"Uh..." mumbled Link, who wasn't known for his way with words. "I... got to take Zelda wig shopping. Or Sheik. Whatever. ONWARD!"

He ran out, knocking over chairs and tables as he went.

"Ooooooh Maaaariiiioooo." Fox turned to the plumber with a look from Five Nights at Freddys.

"ARGH! Me and Yoshi got to save some princess or other!" he screamed as he jumped on Yoshi's back and rode off.

"Yoshi!" the little dino cheered as they escaped.

And then there was one.

"_SNORE..."_ went the ever so graceful Samus, fogging up her helmet screen.

Fox strut over to the victim. "Hey, Samus?" he tapped on her shoulder. "Samus? Samus? Hey, Samus? Samus Aran? Samus Aran? Samus? Yo, Samus Aran? Miss Aran? Samus Aran? Miss Aran? Earth to Miss Aran? Samus? Miss Aran? Samus? Come on, Samus? Miss-"

"HEYO!" Master Hand burst into the room. "Me found man going through puberty again and chic in Iron Man knock-off suit! And guess what! Master Hand wants you two to make the dinner! WOO-HOO!"

That woke Samus up. "What?! Us?"

"Yup. CONGRATS!"

"Fox up for the challenge." Fox boomed as he rapped his arm around Miss Aran's waste. "Ain't you, sweet thing?"

She pushed him aside. "No! I don't cook."

"Well, you do now! WA HA HA HA HA!" Crazy Hand laughed as he flew out of the room.

Fox made a what he hoped was a foxy grin. "Ready for the kitchen, Blondie?"

Before Samus could start cussing, Falco came in barging in.

"Oh, come on, Fox." he yelled. "You left Great Fox unlock again! Now we have to sweep out all the Pikmins out before-" (He finally notices Samus) "Oh, hey. What up, Blondie?"

Samus look at Falco to Fox, then back to Falco. "Oh, this is perfect." she mumbled as she rubbed her hands together.

* * *

"Time for dinner!" yelled Samus from the dinning room forty minutes later.

The Smashers came running in to find... a pile of fried bird on the dinning table!

"Yum!" "Here we go!" "Behold." "Tasty." they screamed as they sheared the food.

"HEY, WHERE DID YA GET YUM-YUMS?" asked Bowser, mouth full of bird.

"Yeah, it's so good." gushed Wolf. "I want to take it to Las Vegas and marry it. I want to- Hey, where's Falco!?"

Everybody stopped eating. Their eating one of their co-workers!?

"Relax, everyone." Samus told them. "He's just grabbing the last of the chicken from the Great Fox."

"...And done!" the bird in question declared as he walked in carrying two buckets of KFC and dumped it on the dinning table.

"YEAH! Hooray for chicken!" screamed Ike. That was the cue for everybody to start eating again.

"Wait. KFC?" asked Master Hand, holding a cup of tea. "Where did you get the money for that?"

"And where's Fox?!" exclaimed Roy. "It's not that I care about the furball. He just borrowed me and Marth's GameCube and was suppose to return it last Monday."

"Oh, we sold him to Naughty Dog." answered Samus.

Everybody froze. "So, we're never gonna see, hear, of smell him again?" asked Wii Fit Trainer.

"Yeah. Ain't that great?"

Everybody didn't move for five seconds.

Then, they burst out cheering. They began dancing around, singing "We are the Champions", and crying tears of joy. -Well, everybody but Roy and Marth. They stood at the sidelines piling money together to buy _another _Gamecube.

"This calls for a celebration!" declared Crazy Hand. "Get out the disco ball!"

So they all began to party. They got Ashley to DJ. The music was so loud the windows shook! But they didn't even cared. They danced, got merry, danced some more; Zelda and Ike even hooked up! (Don't tell Link!)

Yes, it was the ultimate party. It lasted to morning.

...Then a box marked "Return to sender" arrived. Inside was Fox.

"Yo! I'm baaaaack!" he exclaimed with his _voice._

**"AAAARRRGGGHHH!****"** screamed, well, everyone but Fox himself.

* * *

**And... Done! Yes! Finally!**

**Listen, I have nothing against Fox. Just his new _voice_. Seriously, Nintendo, please change it in Star Fox WiiU. PLEASE. **

**Next up: The Christmas Special of Smash Super! Woo-hoo!**


	6. Chapter Six: The Super Before Christmas

_The Supper Before Christmas_

_A poem_

'Twas the night before Christmas,  
Hip hip hooray!  
Gifts, family, and more gifts  
Are only hours away!

But Master Hand was worried,  
Who'll cook the fancy food?  
The last thing he wanted was to get  
Bowser in a bad mood.

"Wanna cook the big meal?"  
He asked around.  
"You can cook a turkey in the microwave  
"In this cookbook I found!"

"I got to visit Celebi,"  
Said Mewtwo.  
"I got plans," answered Palutena.  
"Too bad for you!"

"Cooking... is not my destiny."  
Mumbled Meta Knight, the creep.  
And all Mr. Game &amp; Watch said was,  
"BEEEEEEEEP! BEEP!"

Finally, Master Hand found someone  
Who didn't throw a fit.  
Believe it or not,  
It was Dark Pit!

"Looks like I'm the last man standing."  
Said the crook.  
"Fine, I'll make the meal;  
"IF I get to choose what to cook!"

Master Hand thought about it,  
Then agreed.  
After all, there was over  
50 mouths to feed!

"Just remember," said the glove.  
"This is a Christmas feast."  
"So don't whip up something disgusting;  
"Like eyeball soup, or BBQ a beast."

Dark Pit laughed,  
Then said, "Don't worry.  
"BBQ beast takes 3 days to make;  
"I'm clearly in a hurry."

So he went to the kitchen  
Then got to work.  
He's actually a good cook,  
Considering he's a jerk.

Time soon passed.  
Tick. Tock. Tick.  
It was time for Dark Pit  
To unveil his nasty trick.

He spread out the food  
In the dinning room.  
He called out for the smashers,  
And they came racing. Vroom vroom!

They ran in,  
Kind of freaked.  
They gasped at the sight  
Of what they had to eat.

Oh, what a spread!  
What a surprise they found!  
Turkey, pie, pasta, cake;  
Good food all around!

"Peachy!"  
"This is a good result!"  
Dark Pit didn't yet get  
A single insult.

The Smashers attacked  
The fabulous spread.  
They had no idea that  
A disaster lied ahead.

"Wait," declared Shulk,  
Mouth full of sweet potato fries  
"Trouble is coming:  
"And it flies."

Suddenly, the roof was  
Ripped away.  
There was Ridley  
In the light of day!

"You fools!" laughed Dark Pit.  
"You're all in one place!  
"Now we can destroy you.  
"Come, Ridley. Make haste!"

Ridley flew in,  
First eating Popo.  
Then he swallowed  
Lucario.

The Smashers screamed.  
"you're crazy, Pittoo!"  
"Pikaaaa!"  
"I hate you!"

Dark Pit just laughed  
And threw Ike in the air.  
Ridley swallowed him  
Without a care.

The Smashers tried to stop  
The oversized, dino-like threat;  
But the joy of fighting  
They couldn't get.

They couldn't catch him.  
Ridley was too fast.  
He was just a blur  
As he went pass.

"How you like me now, Smashers?!"  
Dark Pit yelled.  
"Ridley is now getting his revenge.  
"And I shall held-"

He was shut up,  
Thanks to a strange power.  
It was Master Hand  
Here to save the hour!

"Nice try,"  
He said to the mutt.  
Then Master Hand got Crazy Hand  
To punch Ridley in the gut.

"Ouchie!"  
Was all Ridley could say.  
He spat out Popo and Ike,  
Then he flew away.

The gloves have saved  
The Smashers from trouble.  
They cheered, "Hooray for the hands!  
"Now back to eating; on the double!"

Smashers went back  
To eating chicken and leeks.  
While Master Hand grounded  
Dark Pit for two weeks.

"Two? Pittoo? Get it"  
Master Hand chuckle.  
He locked Pittoo in his room  
With a crack of a knuckle.

"Nice try, you fools!"  
Pittoo declared from his room.  
"You'll all soon meet  
"Your doom!"

The feast continued  
Even with Dark Pit gone.  
There was laughing, talking,  
And even a sing-a-long!

When the food was gone,  
They all took rest.  
Merry Christmas to all,  
And God bless.

* * *

**Oh, Dark pit. Will you ever learn?**

**Ta-da! The Smash Supper Christmas Special! You weren't expecting a poem, were you? Well, I thought I'll do something different this time around. And because it took me so long to write this, don't expect another poem any time soon. I hope you enjoyed this!**

**There'll be not 1, but _2 _ Christmas Specials! Next up, Christmas Carols in their Video Game Town!**

**Thank you sooooooooooooooo much for reading! Leave a review if you wanna make me giddy! :D**


	7. Chapter Seven: Time to Sing for Money

It was Christmas night at the Smash Mansion. All the presents have been open, even _more _food was eaten (in the living room, because the dinning room didn't have a roof anymore), and Dark Pit was still locked in his room. Now, we check in on Lucina, Mr. Game &amp; Watch, Sonic, and Lucas who were in Lucina's room playing the "Pikmin 2" on the GameCube Marth got her.

"This sucks." declared Sonic as he mashed buttons on his controller. "Why don't we play my DreamCast now? I got 'Samba De Amigo'!"

"Samda what?" asked Lucas.

"BEEEEEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!" said Mr.G&amp;W.

"Sega consoles are NOT obsolete!" screamed Sonic.

"Wait." Lucina paused the game and turned to the hedgehog. "Sega made a console?"

Sonic's jaw dropped to the ground. Then he just sighed and placed his head in his hands.

"Is that a no?" asked Lucina, somewhat confused.

"He _wished _it was a no," joked Lucas.

While Sonic mourned about the truth, Crazy Hand burst into the room and declared "Ho ho ho whoa, dudes! Y'all better come to the dinning room! Come, my peasants! Wha ha ha!" then flew out.

The four shared a confused look, then followed the crazy's path of destruction.

* * *

When they got to the dinning room, they found the ceiling completely gone, a foot of snow on the ground, and all the other Smashers there shivering and swearing under their breath like crazy.

"Oh, this looks promising..." mumbled Lucina as they walked over to the group.

Then Master Hand flew in and stood (?!) next to Crazy Hand. "Merry Christmas, everybody!" he cheered.

"Wah, wah, WAH!" "Oh, that Nintendo thing..." "I'm done for..." They shot back.

"Okay, down to business: We need to raise money to rebuild the roof. So we de-"

"Uh, why don't we call up Nintendo and ask for the cash?" asked Pokémon Trainer.

"Yeah!" agreed Samus. "Just like last week when that darn Wario ate 5 breakfast burritos and caused the plumbing to back up so bad even Mario and Luigi couldn't fix it!"

"Heh heh! Poop joke!" chuckled Ness to himself.

"Because we got a $5,000 budget ever month, and we already blew it on that!"

"**WHOA!**" gasped Pac-Man. "$5,000!?"

"I could buy so many breakfast burritos with that kind of mola..." Wario whispered to himself.

"Okay, so I want you guys to help earn the money." said Master Hand as he pulled out a list of Smashers. "I'm gonna called out who will have the honor of going Christmas caroling tonight, so-"

**"CHRISTMAS CAROLING?!" **all the Smashers yelled.

"-when I say your name, come stand by me. Got it? Good. Now, of course, first in Jigglypuff."

"Jigglepuff!" sang the Pokémon as she waddled over.

"Wow!" laughed Ganondorf. "She does have a purpose in life!"

"Next up, no shocker, Peach."

"La la la la!" she skipped over.

"Ash, Snake, Roy..."

The men covered their faces as they walked over.

"Dude, Old Snake, nice shirt." joked Ash as he pointed at the spy's tacky, tasteless, downright horrible Snoopy and Charlie Brown Christmas sweater he was wearing.

"_It was a gift,_" the Metal Gear star mumbled.

"Pit, Sonic, King Dedede, Lucina, and Morton."

"I AM PROUD OF YA, SON!" Bowser called out to Morton as he joined the others.

"Ugh, Dad..." he mourned as he rode up.

"Okay. That's everybody." said Master Hand. "The rest of you, grab a red bucket, go stand in front of a WalMart or Sears or something, and ring a bell."

"Hey," Falco butted in. "Isn't that what Salvation Arm-"

"_Just get your five dollar butts out there before I start making change,_" the glove demanded.

"Gotcha!" "Don't have to tell me twice!" "I don't get it..." the others said as they did as they were told.

"And you ten!" he turned to them. "each grab a song book on the table and go sing for money!"

* * *

About a handful of minutes later, the ten made it to the first house. Which happened to be around fifteen blocks away.

"Where you guys been?" asked Sonic, who got there a handful of minutes before them. "I already read all of these guys' mail!"

"We had to... _gasped!_... run our over-stuffed bodies... _puff_... all the way here!... _whew!_... Too much fruitcake..." puffed Peach before passing out.

"Oh, and anything about us being too slow, I'll dye your eyes again!" declared Roy.

"Alright, guys, I get it!" Sonic said as he rang the doorbell. "Lets just get this over with."

After seconds later, Conker the Squirrel answered the door. "Hey, hey, all of you!" he declared, his voice swirling just like the rest of him. "Happy, happy Christmas to ya gents! Or, is it Easter? Gee, what a world!"

The carolers shared a worried look. Yup, this squirrel was definitely wasted. They decided to just get the singing over with so they could beg for money and get the heck out of there.

The opened the books and began:

_Jingle bells, Jingle bells_

_Jingle all the way!_

_Oh, we're riding a rocket to_

_Mars to stay!_

_Oh, dashing pass the meteors_

_On a purple space ship_

_Pass E.T. and Avatar_

_ Who want a lift_

"Whoa, whoa, stop!" demand Morton.

They all did. By then, Conker was rolling on the ground laughing and half asleep.

"What kind of Jingle Bells was that?!" asked Morton.

"It was just the book said to sing," answered King Dedede.

"'Pass' and 'lift' don't rhyme!" said Lucina.

"Jigglypuff!" declared the Pokémon.

"Hey," mumbled Ash as he stared at the back of his book. "Master Hand bought these from a blue light sale at K-Mart!"

"They don't do blue light sales anymore," said Snake.

"Exactly."

"Gosh, that glove is such a cheapskate." declared Sonic.

"Uh, guys," Pit pointed at Conker. "I think he's out cold."

They all looked over and saw the squirrel passed out in a pool of his own drool.

"Good deduction work, Sherlock." joked Roy as he bent down and picked Conker's pockets.

"Dude," said Ash. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Those this look like a face that cares?"

Suddenly, a wade of money _jumped_ out of a picked pocket. It had eyes and could talk!

"Man, you guys suck at singing!" it said the moment he came out.

"Uh..." mumbled Peach. "Maybe we should wait for the squirrely to wake up before-"

"CONKER!" they heard Berri yell from inside the house. "I'M READY TO GO AGAIN!"

They all took that as their que to leave. Roy grabbed the talking money and got the heck outta there.

* * *

Okay, imagine there is three feet of snow in front of your house (even if you live in Florida or Hawaii or like that). Then you hear a knock on the door. Your mom answers it and she finds a balloon with legs, a princess, a Pokémon trainer, a spy, a dude in a cape, a angel, a hedgehog, a bird king, another princess, and a mutant turtle standing in front of her wanting to sing for money. How do you think your mom would react?

Yeah, mine would scream, slam it shut, and barricade the door, too. So you take a wild guess how the caroling is going. In fact, it took them FORTY WHOLE MINUTES -and 8 doors slammed in their faces- to find another house to actual give them a chance.

And it happened to be a bamboo hut with animal residents.

"**WHOA!**" declared Crash Bandicoot when he found the half frozen singers on his doorstep.

"Hit it, gang!" Pit cheered as he pointed to his friends to sing.

_Deck the jail with merry singing!_

_Fa la la la la la la la la!_

_Pass the bread as our ears are ringing!_

_Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la!_

_The prison clothes orange and dirty!_

_Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!_

_Having freedom; we're not worthy!_

_Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la_ (**GASP**)_ la la la la la la la la!_

Crash just stood there trying not to laugh as the ten tried not to pass out from all the _la la la_'s.

"Crash!" they heard a girl call out. "What is with all the ridiculous-"

Cocoa Bandicoot came out. She studied the group for a moment, then broke out in the craziest, happiest smile you could imagine.

"**SONIC, LOOOOOVE!**" she screamed as she fell into his arms and covered him with kisses.

"What?" asked Ash. "And why?"

"Oh! Hey, guys!" laughed Sonic falling to the ground, embracing a kissing-obsessed Cocoa. "Meet my girlfriend!"

It took all of them awhile to have that statement sink in. When it finally did, Crash grabbed his little sister, pushed her into the hut, punched Sonic in the face, shoved a twenty into Jigglypuff's arms, went back inside and slammed the door behind him.

Snake picked up the dazed hedgehog and began walking to the next house. The others followed.

Congrats, Crash Bandicoot. You found out how to shut those guys up. Use money! (And a fist.)

* * *

After another 3 door slammings, they came to... Bayonetta's house?!

"Hold on!" said Morton. "Why the heck would Bayonetta -hot, sassy, big talker Bayonetta- live at a house in a neighborhood strait out of The Middle?!"

(Please note: The ten have been caroling for way over a hour by now. They were probably 20 miles away from Smash Mansion.)

(Oh, and Sonic woke up 15 minutes ago and read her mail. That's how they know it's her house.)

"Good question." commented King Dedede. "Lets find out!"

He knocked on the door like he was using a hammer.

"Uh, everybody?" mumbled Snake. "There's probably something I should tell you before-"

"NOT NOW, BEARDED MAN!" Dedede yelled. "I'M A KNOCKING!"

Now he was knocking like he was using a SLEDGEhammer.

The door threw open and out stepped the woman in question holding her favorite gun.

"Why, you no good, mouth breathing, fools from-" she began to rant.

But then she noticed Snake.

"Oh. MY. **WORD.**"

She dropped her weapon and burst out laughing. "David! You got the gag gift (_ha ha ha!_) I sent you!"

The Smashers looked over to Snake, who for the first time in his life his cheeks were red.

"Snake," said Peach over the laughter. "You KNOW her?"

Suddenly, a wide, somewhat-creepy smile broke out on him. "Hey," he finally answered, speaking slowly. "You can say me and Cereza's paths have crossed before."

Jigglypuff, Peach, and Lucina made confused faces. The guys, however, understood what that meant.

"Oh, yeah!" "You da man, Snake baby!" "You lucky dog!" the dudes cheered as they high-fived and lightly punched Snake.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me." Bayonetta rolled her eyes. "Listen, first off, I'm pet sitting for a friend; and if you care about your livelihood, I suggest you don't ask why. And second,"

She went back inside her house, and afew seconds later came back out carrying a huge money bag.

"I've heard you can use some money to fix that mansion's roof." she said as she dropped it on the ground. "Will 10 thousand bucks do it?"

"Will it?!" cheered Peach as she hugged the bag.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" exclaimed Ash.

"She must of used her powers!" declared Lucina. "Bayonetta must of sensed our troubles and decided to-"

"Actually," Bayonetta broke in. "I just read about all of your 'troubles' on Sonic's Twitter feed."

"Of course," Pit said.

"Oh." said Lucina. "Well, that was going to be my second guess!"

"I'm sure it was, darling."

"Hold on," said Morton as he scratched his head. "Where did you get all the greens?!"

"The bank was having a sale." she joked. (Actually, she just got back from playing poker with Leisure Suit Larry. Guess who won?)

"Oh, makes sense. But why are YOU being so generous to US?"

"You can say... I kind of own it to David here." Bayonetta said the hottest was possible as she strut up to Snake and kissed his neck.

Snake's wide smile became wider; then he melted into a puddle cartoon-style.

* * *

**YEAH! Smash Mansion will once again have a roof over it's dinning room's roof! Hoozah!**

**Here's a list of the video game characters I mentioned that are not in Smash _yet_:**

**1st: Conker and the Squirrels and Berri from "Conker's Bad Fur Day"**

**2nd: Crash and Cocoa Bandicoot from "Crash Bandicoot" series**

**3rd: Bayonetta (AKA ****Cereza) from "Bayonetta" series**

**4th: Leisure Suit Larry from series of same name**

**Oh, and for the record, so far I've only played games of 2nd; the rest of them I know from the glorious YouTube. If I screwed up any of those gaming heros' good names, I'm soooooooooooo sorry. And if any of these guys you've never heard of until now, please look them up. You can thank me later. **

**Thank you again for reading! Our beloved Smashers will be back to ruining the poor Smash kitchen again shortly! Please leave a review if you actually give a damn!**

**(P.S. I apologize if you found any of the jokes in this chapter inappropriate. I blame Conker. And Bayonetta. And my mom. And myself. ;P)**


	8. Chapter Eight: Ike, Zelda, and CHICKEN!

"Come one! Come all!" declared Master Hand, wearing a **really big **top hat. "To a extravaganza you have to watch!"

"...If ya like it or not! Wha ha ha!" Crazy Hand manically laughed as he waved around the scepter he snagged from Dark Pit, who was still grounded.

"Dudes," mourned Mega Man who, like all the others, were still in his PJs. "We all just woke up."

"Yeah!" declared Wii Fit Trainer, hugging her Snoopy blanket. "It's nine o'clock A.M.! It's practically the middle of the night!"

"Zip it, you animals! Let your rulers spit out randomness!" Crazy demanded.

The Smashers mumbled a few choice words as they "zip it". Whatever it took to get out of the game room and to their soft beds the fastest.

"Now, listen up, all you punching bags!" Master motioned towards a 5-foot thing covered with a tarp. "Under this, is the one thing that'll (might) change you're lives forever!"

"Cotton Candy Machine! Cotton Candy Machine! Cotton Candy Machine!" chanted the Koopalings.

The two gloves threw off the tarp and there was... The wheel from The Price is Right?! -But instead of numbers, it had the Smashers names on it. That's even weirder!

"Ooh... Pretty..." sighed Rosalina.

"What the heck is that thing doing here?!" shouted Samus.

"We found it in the dumpster behind Chuck-e-Cheese!"

"Thanks, bro, for sharing that. Listen up, everyone! I know you all been complaining how unfair cooking meals for every mouth here is. So I decided to make it fair. For now on, every morning I'll spin this wheel, and whatever Smashers it lands on, that's who will cook today's meals! Cool, right?"

"All of them?" asked MewTwo.

"Lunch and dinner?" asked Shulk.

"Yes to both!" answered Crazy. "Ho ho ha!"

"Alright, here I go..."

Master grabbed the wheel and gave it a good spin.

_Zoom zoom zoom zoom... _

_CLUNK!_

_WHOOOOOOOOSH!_

The wheel came off it's hinges and headed strait for the Smashers! Run, fighters, run!

"Looks like it's game over for you!" "Falcon kick!" "Let's a-go." "You're too slow!"

_Thump! Thump!_

_CRASH!_

"Oh, mine..." "Gah..."

Well, as you can guess, the wheel ran over Ike and Zelda, then went through a wall. To the freedom of the world!

"So what does means?" asked Wolf.

"Looks like Ike and Zelda shall make lunch! Congrats, freaks!" cheered Crazy.

"...And it's back to the drawing board..." mumbled Master Hand. "Okay, everybody else can go back to bed."

"**Yaaaaah!**" they all cheered.

"Wait, no cotton candy machine?" asked Larry.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Ike ran into the kitchen. To his displeasure, he found R.O.B. inside fixing the oven.

"Okay, friend. You got to leave." he told him.

R.O.B. looked over to him. "Beep bop bop bip,"

"I don't care. You gotta get out of here. _Now._"

R.O.B. stood his ground. "Beep beep zip beep bop!" the robot screeched as he took a death-grip to the oven. He wasn't going anywhere until he properly fixed the freaking oven!

"So that's how you want to play it, hu?"

**_Klang! Crash! Pop!_**

Zelda walked into the kitchen just in time to see Ike carry R.O.B. over his head ("You'll get no sympathy from me!") and then toss him out the window.

"Ha ha ha!" the warrior laughed as he did a funny victory dance. "Take that, robot man! Ha ha ha!"

Zelda made a confused face. "What, and why?" she asked.

Ike looked over and noticed Zelda. "Good morning, Princess!" he declared. "You look fabulous in those PJs!"

The two didn't bother to change. Zelda wore a Hello Kitty nightgown and Ike a Regular Show t-shirt and sweatpants. It was rather hilarious, when you think about it for a while.

"Thank you," she whispered, acting shy.

"It's awesome!"

"Yeah, great." she messed with her hair. "Listen, Ike, about what happen at the party-"

_(Flashback: In chapter five, Ike and Zelda had a one night stand. It's been Awkward City since that.)_

"Don't worry, Zelda!" he interrupted. "I know it's been tense between us, but I feel it'll be best if we just leave that behind us and act as if it never happened."

"Really?"

"Of course,"

"Oh, good!" she did a sigh of relief. "That's exactly what I wanted, too!"

"Great... Princess, my eyes are up here."

"Wha- Oh! Sorry!"

"Don't mention it," Ike dug through his pockets and pulled out a box. "Here. Happy Birthday!"

"Wha... what's this?"

"It's your birthday, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Well, surprise! I present you this present _as a friend_."

Zelda hesitantly took the gift. She opened it and found a pearl bracelet inside.

"Oh, Ike! But where did you get it?"

"Stole it from Pit,"

"Pit?"

"Yeah, I know. Do you like it?"

"Of course! Thank... thank you," she whispered again as she put the bracelet on.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, duh. So, what do you want to cook?"

"Chicken, duh!"

Ike ran over to the fridge and began digging through it.

"Carrots? No." _Fling_ "Potatoes? Nope." _Fling_ "Fish? Gross." _Fling_ "Ah-ha! CHICKEN!"

Ike pulled out a whole chicken, brought it to the counter, and smacked it down.

"Great, Ike." giggled Zelda. "But I doubt that'll be enough to feed over fifty Smashers. -Or was it sixty?"

"Looks like we'll need more chicken!"

Ike once again dug through the fridge and carried out a load more of chickens.

"Still not enough," Zelda shook her head.

"But that's all the chicken we got,"

"Well, here's a crazy idea! Get a different food to cook with the chicken!"

"Princess, you might be on to something!" declared Ike as he ran back to the fridge and pulled out a 25 pound turkey!

"Whoa! That's one big bird!"

"...And it taste like chicken!"

Ike opened the oven and threw the turkey in. Then he began throwing chickens in two at a time.

"Ike!" said Zelda.

He stopped and looked over at her, somewhat guiltily.

"Don't hog the fun!" she giggled as she began throwing chickens in as well.

"Oh, hog! Good idea!"

Ike dug around the fridge and found a frozen solid ham. "You know, for variety."

The two laughed and stuffed it in along with all the birds. they were able to stuff a 25 pound turkey, five chickens, and a 20 pound ham into the oven that might burst at the scene.

"You think that's safe?" asked Zelda.

"Of course, Princess." Ike insured her as he turned on the oven and cracked it up to a toasty 400 degrees. "And now we play the waiting game,"

"Oh, boy."

Ike sat down on the counter. "So, how old are you turning today?"

"Uh... I rather not say..."

"Oh, come on! Not even a hint?"

"I'm still younger than you,"

Ike did a smile that made him look like he didn't have teeth. "_Oh, you young people and your pop music,_" he said with a fake, old man voice. "_Back in my day, I had Justin Beiber and The Jonas Brother. Now that was music. Dang, do I miss High School Musical._"

Zelda laughed so hard her sides began to hurt. "Your hilarious!"

"It's a blessing and a curse. But I do put the FUN in FUNeral."

"Too far, Blue Boy."

"I know. So sorry about- Wait. Blue Boy?"

"Uh..."

"Ha ha ha!"

"Listen, I'm sorry if you-"

"No! I like it! Nobody has ever gave me a nickname before. I like it."

"Oh, good."

"In fact, I think-"

_Rumble rumble rumble..._

"Hold on," said Zelda. "Do you here that?"

The two slowly looked over at the oven. Now it was ready to burst.

"Princess, look out!"

_**KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! **_

They hit the deck as chunks of metal and meat flew in all directions. The oven was now lit on fire, along with the fridge next to it.

"Oh, no!" Ike cursed and rolled over to his back.

Zelda, on the other hand, jumped to her feet and ran to one of the covers. "Quick! Find one of those fire extinguisher thingies!"

The warrior did as he was told. They both found one and began putting out the fires.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Rosalina, Dr. Mario, Toon link, and Ness poked their heads in and began complaining like they had any right to.

"Another fabulous mess, Zelda." Dr. Mario shook his head.

"Hey! Leave her along!" Ike said as he sprayed like crazy at the fire. "I caused this, okay? She was just a bystander."

"How much did she pay you to say that, Ike?" asked Ness.

"We should stock up on marshmallows now it's absolutely certain Zelda is here to stay," said Rosalina.

"I've been doing that since Brawl!" answered Toon Link. "My room is crammed with them!"

"Ike, for the sake of your health, I advise you to keep your distance from _this _Princess," Dr. Mario said as he flipped through his papers. "Oh, and you need a flu shot next week so-"

"Alright! Everybody out!" yelled Ike as he pushed the four intruders out of the kitchen.

They finally left, and Ike did a sigh of relief. "Those guys can be a pain, but I think-" he began to say.

He looked over at Zelda and found her sitting on the floor, wiping away tears.

"Hey," Ike bent down and rubbed her back. "It's okay. Their just being jerky, that's all."

"It's not just them," sniffed Zelda. "It's all of them,"

"What?"

Zelda looked Ike in the eyes as tears streamed down her face. "Ever since the Legend of Zelda became popular, I've been made fun of and trolled. 'Link should stop saving you.' 'Your a wimp, spotlight hogger.' 'Nobody likes you.' Year after year after year! It's terrible!"

Ike was shocked. "Princess, I never knew."

"Strangers can be so mean," she cried. "I'm not weak! I'm only human!"

Ike nodded his head, not knowing what to say.

"That's why I joined SSB. In hopes to prove I'm not what they say I am. But... It didn't. It just became worst. The trolls just multiplied. And those Smashers! They despise me! And all I did was show up! Even Link, who prefers his new friends to me. He never talks to me anymore. In fact, your the only one who cares if I'm alive. Your the only one who remembered my birthday!"

"Oh, Zelda..."

She looked at Ike and found him crying, too.

"You are strong," he sniffed. "Ignore those trolls. They wished they were as awesome as you. I care about you, Princess. I always have, and I always will."

"I know, Blue Man." she forced a smile. "You're the only reason I'm still here."

The two embraced, never wanting to let go.

* * *

"But we need a Cotton Candy Machine!" declared Wendy as she and her siblings followed Master Hand to the dinning room.

"No, we don't." said Master. "We need it as much as we need a radar detector."

"That would be cool!" cheered Bowser Jr. "We could track down airplanes!"

The glove sighed as he threw the dinning room doors open. Inside, he found the Smasher feasting on over cooked shredded who-knows-what.

"Looks like Ike and Zelda made it through for us," he said as he looked around. "Hey, where are those two, anyway?"

"Well," Roy mumbled with a mouth full. "I heard something about the two taking a walk on the beach, then crashing at Starbucks?"

"The beach?" asked Link. "Ike and _Zelda_?"

"Who cares?" said Meta Knight.

Ike did about Zelda. And Zelda about Ike. And that's what mattered to the couple.

(Don't worry. They changed before going out.)

* * *

**New Year, new changes! After a few request, I've finally changed the title from "Smash Supper" to "A Taste of Smashiness!" I hope you guys like it!**

**Looks like I ship Ike and Zelda now. Hoozah! And a gentle reminder: Trolling is NOT cool. Always treat people the way you want to be treated. On and off line.**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!**


	9. Chapter Nine: Heeere's a Bass!

There's something new in the dinning room. It's a bulletin board. Master Hand put threw it there the other night. So far their we're a bunch of spaghetti ads glued on it (for goodness sakes, Mario...) and a note from the glove himself.

_Listen up, Smashers. _The note read. _Me and Crazy Hand came up with a far way to pick cooks for the day! You know that **HUGE **hat I was wearing yesterday? Well, we threw in tons of pieces of paper in it with numbers and your names on them. Then we pulled a few by random. I pulled out the number 4, so 4 cooks today. Here's the 4 names we pulled out:_

_Pac-Man_

_Villager_

_Pikachu_

_Captain Falcon_

_You 4 are in charged of making dinner. Good luck with that. And happy cooking, you guys!_

_Love,_

_Master Hand_

Pac-Man was the first of the four to read that. His reaction to it wasn't very pleasant.

"AAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhHHHHH!" he screamed as he ran to the game room, grabbed Pikachu and Captain Falcon, dragged them to the kitchen, and barricade the doors.

"You're ruining FALCON'S ears, Pac-Man!" said Falcon as he rubbed his head.

"Pika!" agreed Pikachu.

"Guys!" Pac-Man declared. "We've come across the worst case of luck!"

"You ran out of knee socks? FALCON can lend you some!"

"No, but thank you for the offer."

"Pika, pika pika?"

"No alien abductions yet, my friend. It's much worst! We have to cook lunch. _With. **Villager.**_" Pac-Man stressed out the words.

"UUUUUUuuuuuuUUUUUUgggggggGGGGGGgggggggHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!" Falcon and Pikachu screamed in horror.

"Wait. Why do we fear Villager, Yellow Ball?" asked Falcon. "FALCON finds him as a nice kid."

"He is not, Captain! He's!... He's!..."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Heeeere's Johnny!" the kid banging on the door creepily whispered.

"He has found us!" cried Pac-Man.

"Women and children first!"

"PIKA PIKA!"

"We got to buy us some time!" whispered Pac-Man.

"FALCON got this covered,"

He strut over to the door and yelled, "Sears is having a huge ax sale!"

"Oh, boy! I love slashed prices!" Villager whispered (For some reason he says every thing in a whisper. It's pretty creepy. Even during a fire he'll be like, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" in the voice of a mouse.) "I'll be back, my peasants!"

They listen as they heard the crazy walk down the hall. Once he was gone, they all did a huge sigh of relief. Then Pac-Man yelled "WE HAVE TO MAKE FOOD BEFORE HE COMES BACK!" and they were all panicked again.

"But what?!"

"PIKA PIKA PKIA!"

"Who knows, who cares! Just start throwing stuff together, Spartans!"

And the three got to work.

In one corner, Pikachu was throwing veggies into a pot and hoping for the best. Hey, if it worked in Ratatouille, it can work here!

In the other side of the kitchen, Captain Falcon was making a super-secret cake recipe his grandma taught him. (Here's the recipe: Toss two sticks of butter, a bag of flour, and 7 pounds of sugar in a pan, stir, and then toss in the oven. Ta-da!)

And Pac-Man... Well, he was writing his will. Everything goes to Mrs. Pac-Man, according to it.

After fifteen minutes of that, dinner was ready. It smelled like a 90's dance club, for some weird reason.

"Good job, men!" said Pac-Man. "Now, all we have to do is take this 'food' to the dinning room and let-"

"Hello, my peasants!" came a whisper from the other side of the door. "Guess what? I bought a double sided blade ax! It was half off,"

"**THE THING IS BACK!**" the three screamed.

"I stopped at a lake on the way back. I caught you a delicious bass. Here, let me show you."

Villager use his new ax to break down the door. By now, the three were horrified.

"FALCON scared! FALCON scared!"

"Pikaaaaaa!"

"Oh, what a world! What a world!"

Finally, Villager got in. With a final scream, "MMMMMMmmmmmOOOOOOOOOOmmmmmMMMMMyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYY!" the three passed out.

"Guys? Guys?" Villager shook each one of them. "Wake up, you guys! You're gonna miss the ax sale!"

He noticed the food and will. "Weird napkins," he whispered as he looked over the will, then tossed it aside. "Oh, well. Better feed the Smashers before they riot again!"

He put the soup, cake, and delicious bass on a cart and began to roll it to the dinning room. "Who's up for raw fish?"

* * *

**I've noticed that a lot of people portray Villager as a maniac, so I decided to play around with it He doesn't watch the Smashers in their sleep, really! He's just misunderstood. -And a little out of it.**

**Oh, I also suggest nobody attempts to make any of the recipes mentioned in this fan-fic. Just don't.**

**Thanks again for reading! Leave a review if you enjoyed this thing! ;D **


	10. Chapter Ten: Cook with Bowser & Mario

This time's list of cooks:

_TWO_

_Bowser_

_Mario_

* * *

"Hello! It's-a me, Mario! And today me and Bowser are gonna show you the glory known as cooking!" declared Mario to the video camera he set up in the kitchen.

"WE MAKE GOODIES FOR BATTLERS!" yelled Bowser as he put a pot on his head.

"Yeah. What he said."

* * *

**_HOW TO COOK: PIZZA_**

* * *

"People clam to know how to cook pizza," began Mario.

"THEM LIARS!"

"Yes! Exactly! Now, this is how you make the food from above: First, you get the ingredients. BOWSER! GET THAT STUFF WE KEEP IN THE FRIDGE!"

"YES! YES!"

Bowser went over to the fridge and flung the door off it's hinges. But, alas, there was no stuff to make pizza in it.

"MARIO! WE OUT OF PIZZA MAKER THINGS!" exclaimed Bowser in horror.

"Whatever! We can improve. What do we got?"

"UH... DR. PEPPER, APPLES, CHICKEN-"

"_My chicken!_" screamed Ike as he ran in, grabbed the uncooked bird, and ran out. "_It's mine once more!_"

"UH, NO CHICKEN. BUT WE ALSO GOT BREAD, MILK, SALSA, MUSTARD, AND EGGS."

"That'll do it. Throw the stuff on the table!"

_**SLING! CLUNK! SPLAT! **_The "pizza ingredients" landed on the counter.

"Now," continued the plumber. "We shove this stuff on a pizza platter,"

"ON IT!" roared Bowser as he punched it all on the platter. It was rather... messy.

"Great! Now, to the oven!"

They opened the oven, pulled the burnt Xbox in it out, and flung the platter on stuff inside.

"Okay, I'll set the oven for 700 degrees... Yes! Now we play the waiting game!"

"ADVERTISEMENT TIME!"

_** ...DERP  
DERP...  
...DERP  
DERP...  
**_

DING!

"The pizza is ready!"

They looked through the oven window and saw a bunch of Toads inside instead of pizza.

"THAT NO FOOD!"

"Yeah... We better not open it..."

* * *

_**HOW TO COOK: MUSHROOM LASAGNA**_

* * *

"This one is a old family recipe," Mario said as he pulled out a box full of 1-Up mushrooms and big noodles.

"OH, YES! MORE FOODIES!"

"Now, I-a chop the mushrooms,"

Mario pulled out a chainsaw and began sawing and slashing them. All with a huge creepy grin on his face, by the way.

"UH, ITALIAN MAN? WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE MUSHROOMS?"

"Oh!" Mario turned around, covered with mushroom juice. "You know that-a dark ally across the street? Well, a old man their sold me them!"

"MARIO, WE BETTER TALK,"

"Not now! It's time to put the stuff together!"

Mario pulled out a pot and tossed the slaughtered mushrooms and noodles in. He then mix it a little (with his chainsaw).

"And, it's-a done! Oh, yeah!"

"NO, IT NOT! IT NEED CHEESE TO BE LASAGNA!"

"No, it doesn't."

"YES, IT DO!"

Bowser went to one of the cabinets, pulled out a jar of parmesan cheese, and threw the whole thing in the pot.

"THERE! NOW THAT'S A LASAGNA!" cheered Bowser.

"You-a soiled it! _SOILED IT!_"

"NO, I NOT! I JUST MADE IT EDIBILE."

"_SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!_"

"MARIO, TAKE A CHILL PILL."

"_SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!"_

"UGH..."

* * *

_**SPECIAL GUEST COOK!**_

* * *

"EVERYBOBY! THIS SHOW IS PROUD TO PRESENT A SPECIAL GUEST! PRESENTING CRAZY HAND!"

"Oh oh oh!" the glove declared as he flew in. "Heyo, everything! Wa-ha!"

"MARIO, HE'S HERE!"

"_SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!_"

"STOP THAT! NOW, TALK TO THE HAND!"

"Oh, a-fine." Mario sighed. "What will you be cooking for us today?"

Crazy Hand laughed. "Why, one of the best freaking foods ever, of course! Pizza!"

"We already made pizza, stupid!"

"IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT, SURE." mumbled Bowser as he swept the Toads out of the kitchen.

"Well, warn your taste buds!" laughed Crazy as he floated to the fridge. "Because I'm going to knock their socks off!"

"First of all, taste buds don't have-a socks!" declared Mario. "And second, _nobody makes pizza in this kitchen but ME!_"

"Fine!" huffed Crazy. "I'll just make spaghetti instead."

"_THAT TEARS IT!_" screamed Mario.

"OH, NO." roared Bowser to Crazy. "YOU AWAKE THE SNAKE!"

"_AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_" Mario screamed as he attacked Crazy Hand and they began fighting.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! It be on!" Crazy declared as they tear each other apart.

"WELL, THAT BE ALL THIS TIME, FOLKS!" said Bowser to the camera as the two weirdoes fought in the background. "LEAVE A REVEIW AND STUFF! BYE!"

* * *

"Where's my burrito?! Where's my burrito?!" yelled all the Smashers in the dinning room as they pound the table.

Suddenly, Mario and Crazy Hand burst through on of the doors. They were still fighting each other. They just came fighting in and fighting out.

Yeah, you can say this really confused the Smashers.

Master Hand rolled his eyes (?!) "I can take a hint," he sighed. "Come on, everyone. Let's go have lunch at my mom's place. She owes me a favor."

"Yaaaaah!" they all cheered.

"I hope she cooks chicken!" declared Ike.

* * *

**Yes! I have another YouTube parody under my belt!**

**This was inspired by the great YouTuber SMG4. He does the most hilarious Mario videos. Please check him out. **

**Thank you so much for read! It means a lot! You're freaking awesome! If you like this, please check out my other stories! :D**

**...**

**UPDATE: Thanks for the review, **ultimateCCC! **I fi****x the errors, and plan to have the next chapter star The Ice Climbers. Hussah!**

**And also a shout-out to **Thehobkinauthor! **I always look forward to your reviews; they make me smile. Thanks for being you!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Hoozah for Ice Climbers!

It was 5 A.M. at Smash Mansion. Popo and Nana were lying in their bunk beds, fast asleep, dreaming about BBQ polar bear. It was so quite and peaceful.

Yeah, that was ruined real fast.

_**"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ICE CLIMBERS!" **_screamed Peach, Bowser, Zelda, and Sheik as they did sirens, popped balloons, and threw confetti everywhere.

"Aaarrrgghh! The noise!" "What year is it?!" exclaimed the two siblings as the rolled out of bed in total shock.

"It's your birthday, sweeties!" declared Peach.

"Which one?" asked Popo.

"I believe it is your 30th," answered Sheik.

"Oh. Then the year must be 2015. Good to know."

"HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY, ICE LOVERS!" roared Bowser as he picked the two up and began carrying then out of the room.

"Why, thank you!" yawned Nana. "But why are we celebrating so early?"

"Because we only got a hour," said Zelda as the others trailed behind.

"A hour?" asked Popo. "A hour for what?"

"Before we have to take them back to the video game museum!" cheered Peach.

"Excuse me?" asked Nana.

Before anyone could answer, they burst into the living room. Inside, it was decorated to the nines with streamers and balloons. But that wasn't all.

"Bubbles?! Keiji?!" exclaimed Popo.

"Dig Dug?!" screamed Nana.

"JaJaMaru?! Dude with the motorcycle who's name I forget?!"

"Happy Birthday, our friends!" the gang of 1985 NES characters declared as everyone cheered.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!" the Ice Climbers screamed at the same time as they hugged their friends that they haven't seen in so long.

"Dudes, what y'all doing here?!" exclaimed Popo as he jumped around.

"You're Melee friends brought us here," said Keiji.

"Yes," answered Sheik. "We found them down to the Official Video Game Museum downtown."

"YEAH! SO WE BROKE THEM OUT OF THE DUMP!" Bowser yelled.

"And boy, were they dusty!" said Peach.

"Yeah, dudes." said Mach Rider, the dude with the motorcycle. "And that's why were here at such a early hour, dudes. The museum opens up at 7 A.M., dudes. We gotta be back before then so we don't get in trouble, dudes."

"It's true," agreed Dig Dug.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" asked Popo.

"Let's get this party started!" declared Nana.

"YAH! SOMEONE TURN UP THE BASS!" yelled Bowser.

Sheik cranked on the stereo (_"It's going down! I'm yellin' timber!"_) and everyone broke it down. JaJaMaru began a conga line. Bubbles taught Popo the Electric Eel. Zelda began bring sexy back.

And she was doing a good job, too. Until Mach Rider walked over, picked her up, carried her to the kitchen, and threw her in.

"Dude, you gotta make a cake, dude." he said.

"Wha... But you were in charged of bring one!" declared Zelda as she picked herself up.

"Yeah, dude. But I forgot, dude." Mach shrugged. "So you'll have to do it, dude. Good luck, dude."

Mach Rider left the kitchen and boogied on back to the party, that was now overrun by the other Smashers because the Ke$ha woke them up.

Zelda sighed. She turned on the lights, threw open the fridge, and began digging around for cake ingredients.

"Eggs... Oil... Vanilla..."

"Is their any chicken?"

"Whoaaa!" declared Zelda as she jumped and bumped her head on a fridge shelf.

"Sorry! Sorry!" said Ike as he came running in. "I didn't mean to startle you,"

"It's fine," Zelda mumbled as she rubbed the new bump on her forehead. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, the music blaring from the living room. I went to see what it was, and found random people grinding each other and that biker guy drag you to the kitchen. So now here I am! Ready to help you with the cake!"

Zelda smiled. "Thanks, Blue Boy. That means a lot to me."

"No problem! Now, to get started..."

Ike went over to the fridge and fooled around. He soon pulled out a chicken leg. He did a broad smile and began eating it in get trumpet.

"Um, Ike, the cake?"

"Already bring done,"

"What?"

"I texted Link and told him you want to marry him in the kitchen."

"Seriously? Why the heck would you-"

At that moment, in entered Link running like a maniac. He was sporting a very fancy tux he probably "borrowed" from Snake. It was baggy in every area. And he was carrying a four layer wedding cake.

"**I'M READY FOR THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE!**" he screamed as he caught his breath.

"Then you're in for a real disappointment." answered Ike as he took the cake. "No hitching for you today, little guy."

"Say whaaaaaaaaaaaa?" cried Link.

"Sorry, Link." Zelda shrugged as she knocked the two statues of them on the top of the cake.

"Then why did your _blue boy_" (Link spat out the word like it was poison) "texted me that!?"

"We just really needed a cake." said Ike as he and Zelda headed to the door, each carrying a side of the cake. "Nice suit, by the way."

"It's a tux!"

"What's the diff?"

"Around a ton of money!"

"That's one of the many reasons I wear the same thing all the time!"

"Oh, really? We haven't noticed." Link drowned in sarcasm.

"I find it hot," Zelda whispered to Ike's ear.

"You never cease to remind me,"

Link overheard their whispers. "I find it DISGUSTING!" he called after them.

"Who plays with pigs here, Linky?" asked Ike as they entered the living room.

Link was about to shoot something back, but couldn't think of anything clever. He just stood at the doorway, taking in his misery.

But don't worry. Nobody noticed. They were all to busy sing "Happy Birthday" really loud and _really_ off key.

* * *

**Oh, Link. Will you ever get over Zelda?**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ICE CLIMBERS! -Still waiting for a new game... Any day now...**

**You're probably wondering who's Mach Rider and such. Well, all the characters I mentioned that are not from SSB were stars of their own games on the NES in 1985, the same year Ice Climber first came out. Here's a list of them and the games they starred in:**

**Bubbles - "Clu Clu Land"**

**Dig Dug - Game of same name.**

**Mach Rider - Game of same name.**

**JaJaMaru - "Ninja JaJaMaru-kun" **

**And the reason Peach, Bowser, Zelda, and Sheik threw the party is because they were already unlocked characters when they first premiered in SSB Melee; just like Ice Climbers.**

**See, I did do my research!**

**Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the celebration! **


	12. Chapter Twelve: Lunchtime with Shulk 2

Today's list:

_Four_

_Shulk_

_Mega Man_

_Sonic_

_Lemmy_

"OH YEEEEAAAAH!" screamed Shulk when he saw the list. "OH, YEAH! OH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!"

Lemmy and Larry rode in to figure out what the noise is. The arrived in time to see Shulk start doing a victory dance.

"What?" asked Larry.

"Why?" said Lemmy.

Shulk didn't noticed them. -Wait. No. Actually, he did notice them, but he was too busy break dancing to care.

"Why?" asked Lemmy again. "Answer the Lemmy!"

Larry got around Shulk and read the bulletin board. "Oh," he said. "Looks like he's pumped about getting to do another Lunchtime With Shulk video."

"Seriously? That video only got around seven thousand views."

"Six and a half thousand views more than my first video!" cheered Shulk as he twerked.

Lemmy made a face. "Please tell me that wasn't a Harlem Shake video..."

"It was a Harlem Shake video," answered Larry.

"Of course," Lemmy shook his head. "Well, I'll get the friggin others,"

* * *

"Chilli dogs!"

"Ice!"

"Chilli dogs!"

"Ice!"

"Ice isn't even a food!"

"So what, Sanic?!"

"It's Sonic,"

"Does this look like a face that cares?"

"Mega Man! Tell Lemmy here ice is NOT a food!"

Mega Man looked up from the Nintendo Power he was reading. "I'm a robot. I don't think my opinion is going to make much of a statement here."

"Yaaay! That means I win!" declared Lemmy.

"No, it doesn't!" Sonic called out.

Mega Man rolled his eyes. "Where is Shulk? The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can get on with my life."

"You have one of those?!" laughed Lemmy.

Before Mega Man could react and bump up this fanfic's rating to Teen, Shulk finally walked in.

"I have arrived, Spartans!" he declared as he strut in carrying a video camera he got Samus to loan him. "Let's get this PARTAY STARTAY!"

_Click_

"HEY! What time is it?"

"Time for you to buy so actual pants?"

"No! It's MEALTIME WITH SHULK!"

_*Insert Cheesy-but-Awesome Videogame Music Theme Song*_

"Where does that music come from?"

"Butt out, Mega Man. Now! To the questions!"

"Hold up," said Sonic. "Shouldn't we be making food?"

"Make food in a kitchen?" yelled Lemmy. "Are you cray-cray, Sonic? ARE YOU?!"

"I like you," Shulk pointed at him. "Now, to the questions!"

Shulk pulled out his phone and scrolled around.

"Of course, I'll go first." he said with a grin.

"Booooo! Boo!" exclaimed Lemmy.

"Please shut up so we can get this over with," mumbled Mega Man.

"Yeah!" said Sonic. "Listen to the robo!"

"Settle, guys, settle. Now, the first question is from Ickypicky892."

"Congrats!" screamed Lemmy to the camera. "You won the first Q of the day lottery! WWWWHHHOOOAAA-"

"Says here she doesn't know who you are," Shulk interrupted.

"This Ickypicky892 is a saint." said Mega Man.

"Okay, so the question is, 'Shulk what do you think of your outfit that everyone hates? (Aka the short outfit)'"

"Again, this person is a saint,"

"For once I agree with Mega." Sonic nodded.

"Heh heh," Lemmy chuckled. "Mega, heh heh,"

"Well, to this so-called question," Shulk said through his teeth. "I enjoy being unique. I'm freaking one-of-a-kind, folks!"

"**Denial**," Mega Man called out from his chair.

"True that," agreed Sonic once again. "If Shulk had a dollar for every time he was called handsome, he'll have one dollar; and he can thank his mom for that."

"Next question is for the hedgehog!" Shulk exclaimed in hopes of taking control of the situation once more. "It's from Gamefan64,"

"Yes! -I understood that reference." Lemmy quoted.

"The fan asks, 'Sonic: Search up the meme "SANIC" on the internet.'"

"That's more of a demand, but okay!" Sonic pulled out his phone and typed it in.

_5 minutes later..._

"I don't want to live on this planet anymore,"

"Yes! -I understood that reference."

"Sonic! Put the bowling ball down!" yelled Shulk.

"For spaghetti arms, he's surprisingly strong." Mega Man said as the others gathered around the only kitchen window as they watched Sonic, who was standing on the roof outside the window, hold a bowling ball over his head. "In a matter of speaking, of course."

"I've had it! I've really had it this time!" Sonic exclaimed as he inched to the edge. "First Sonic 06, then Sonic Boom, and now THIS?!"

"I'm pretty sure SANIC came before Sonic Boom." said Mega Man.

"Oh, _that makes all the difference._" the hedgehog mourned.

"Sonic, get back in here!" yelled Shulk. "I got more questions for you!"

"Hey, here's a good one from Thehobkinauthor," Lemmy said as he read off Shulk's iPhone. "'Sonic: What is your reaction to Sanic? What do you think about it?'"

"I think I just fell in love with irony," smiled Mega Man.

"That's it! I'm really gonna do it!"

"No! You can't!" screamed Shulk.

"Yeah, brah! Don't be cray-cray!" yelled Lemmy.

"Don't jump, hedgehog!" exclaimed Mega Man. "You know Nintendo can't afforded the insurance!"

"I. DON'T. CARE. ANYMORE." yelled Sonic as he jumped.

_**CRASH!**_ _**CRASH!**_

"Oh, Kirby. Thanks a lot for making my fall from grace a epic fail."

"You're welcome, Sonic." groaned Kirby. "It was a honor to break your fall."

"Well, that was pointless." said Mega Man.

"Are you kidding me?!" declared Shulk. "I got that on camera! This is gonna be the best YouTube vid EVER!"

"Yeah, seven thousand and _one_ views." joked Mega Man.

"Sonic, get your blue butt off Kirby and get back up here!" yelled Lemmy.

"Sure," agreed Sonic. "so I can try jumping again!"

"REALLY?!" asked Shulk. "Hold on, let me get more film!"

"Will you crazies please shut up?!" exclaimed Mega Man. "Now, Sonic, if you come back up and answer the rest of the questions, I'm take you to the volcano across town for you to jump."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Okay! I'm coming up! -Hold it. Where went the bowling ball?"

"I ate it," answered Kirby, who was still lying on the ground in pain.

"That's cool. It was Eggman's anyway. _**SUPER SONIC SPEEEEEEED!**_"

Sonic ran up the wall and into the window, leaving Kirby to digest the bowling ball in peace.

"Let's get this over with!" the hedgehog declared.

"Alrighty! Now, for another Q for me. And it's from adventuremaker16, 'Shulk: Exited for Xenoblade Chronicles 3D and X plus you as an amiibo?' Well, of course! I'm totally pumped! Why wouldn't I be?"

"_Millions of angry Nintendo fans come together at Death Valley to burn new Xenoblade game and_ _amiibo_!_" _Lemmy taunt with his best Ron Burgundy impression. "_More at 11, on FOX._"

"I still cannot believe Fox got his own channel..." Sonic sighed.

The others looked over at Sonic in judgment, but let it drop. "So," said Mega Man. "Are there any questions for me?"

"Why, yes! Ickypricky892 wants to ask you 'Mega man is it sad that I didn't know who you were until I looked you up?'"

"Of course not!" screamed Lemmy.

"Who is this person!?" asked Sonic. "I wanna throw a party in it's honor! I'll invite every Smasher but Mega Man, and have Sonic's Drive In cater!"

"Hahahaha," mumbled Mega Man, along with afew choice words.

"Answer the Q, Mega." said Shulk.

"Fine. Well, I really don't blame you. If you want to learn more about me, you can buy some of my original games on the Nintendo eShop. They're as cheap as-"

"**NO ADVERTISING, ROBO!**" exclaimed Lemmy.

"I expected so much better from you," sighed Shulk.

"What?" Mega Man became all defensive. "If you haven't noticed, I need the recognition! And if I sell enough games, maybe I can _finally_ get my own 3DS theme."

"Like me!" smiled Sonic.

"Your first one was free,"

"Butt out."

"I want a question now!" Lemmy suddenly declared as he jumped around. "Gimme gimme gimme!"

"You got it, Lemmy!" said Shulk. "Thehobkinauthor wants to ask you, 'Lemmy: Why do you seem so generic like the other koopa kids?'"

"I'm not generic!" yelled Lemmy in rage.

"Well, you all are crazy..."

"Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!"

"...Just like you all are..." said Mega Man.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!" the koopa screamed as he left the kitchen in a manic anger.

"Whoa, dude! Come back!" Sonic called out.

"Nah, let him be." Shulk waved him off. "We only have time for one more question, and it ain't for him."

"Thank goodness," cheered Mega Man.

"Yup. Here's the final question from Gamerfan64, 'Mega Man: What did you do before Smash Bros. And after Mega Man 10?'"

"He was working at Sonic's Drive In!" declared (take a wild guess) Sonic.

"I did not," said Mega Man. "...I worked at Nintendo World..."

"**_What?_**" yelled Sonic.

"_**Really?**_" exclaimed Shulk.

"Duuuuude! That's LOW,"

"Oh, hush." mumbled Mega Man. "It was a dark time in my life,"

"That's no excuse to work for a enemy,"

"It worked out, didn't it?"

"Point proven,"

"Alright, fellas!" Shulk declared as he went over to the video camera. "That's enough Q &amp; As for this time around! Say bye to the-"

Before Shulk could finish his sentence, Lemmy came riding back in. He was total wreck. Hair a mess, stains everywhere, Clown Cart missing a wheel; the works. "Guys! The food!" he screamed. "The Smashers want food **NOW**. They need it!"

"Ohmigosh!" declared Sonic. "We completely forgot the food!"

"No, we just ignored making it." Mega Man corrected him.

"Yeah, we did." agreed Shulk. "But now is not the time to dwell on the pass, men! Now is the time to _get to freakin' work!_"

He began running around the kitchen, grabbing pans and tossing food. Soon the main counter was piled with cooking stuff. It wasn't as pretty as it sounds.

"Um, Shulk?" asked Mega Man.

"No time, men! No time!"

He flung open a drawer and pulled out a gallon of gasoline. He dumped it over the pile.

"What the rings?!" exclaimed Sonic.

"Shulk!" yelled Lemmy. "Quit being cray-cray!"

"Don't fret, guys! If this is done correctly, this stuff will become a beautiful chowder! I've done this before."

"Really?" asked Mega Man in suspicion. "Did it work?"

"Nope," Shulk said as he lit a match. "But second time's the charm, right?"

**"NO!"** the other three exclaimed. **"DON'T DO-"**

_**Ka-BOOOOOOM!**_

"I guess I won't be needing to go to the volcano now. If that exploitation can't take me out, nothing will."

"You live off rings. Of course nothing can, you cray-cray freak!"

_TO BE CONTINUED_

* * *

**A cliffhanger! *Gasp!* What shall happen next? _Read the next chapter to find out!_**

**Well, thanks for all the questions, you guys! They were so much fun to read and answer. I'm sorry to say that I didn't use all of the questions. They were all great, but I didn't want too long of a chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! It means the world over to me that you took the time out of your lives to enjoy my randomness. Please leave a review if you liked it. And don't forget to favorite and follow!**

**(P.S. Yes, this was another Smosh parody. Again, your welcome.)**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: BUM BUM BUM

"The light..." mumbled Shulk. "It so pretty..."

"No! Shulk, no!" exclaimed Sonic as he rushed over to the warrior and shook him back and forth. "Don't go towards the light! Run away! Run the heck away from it!"

"Sonic... tell Fox... he's a prick."

"I do that every day,"

"Same," said Lemmy.

"Same," agreed Mega Man.

"Good... my mission has... been a success..."

A door suddenly flew open (and off it's hinges). In came Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Bowser, and Snake.

"My Non-Nintendo smashing friends! -And Shulk." Snake declared as he rushed towards the group. "What went down in what's left of this kitchen?"

"LEMMY! MY LEMMY!" exclaimed Bowser, running in. "ARE YOU OKAY, MY LITTLE ONE?!"

"Yeah, Pops. I'm fine." answered Lemmy.

"Smashers! Smashers! Are you-" Master Hand began to yell. But soon began to yell about the mess once he saw **the mess. "WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!**"

Yeah... the place was wreak. To say the least.

Okay, there wasn't a place to be a wreak. The kitchen was GONE. The explosion was _that_ powerful. All that was left was the floor... kind of.

Crazy Hand didn't think it was that bad, actually. "I LOVE what you did in here!" he declared. "There's so much room! It's beautiful!"

"Hold on," said Mega Man. "The kitchen was on the second floor... How are we on the ground now?"

The gang thought about it for a bit, then came to the conclusion that the boom was so big that it also exploded the room under them.

"And that was?..." asked Shulk, coming back to us from his visit of the light.

"The game room!" cried Sonic. "Shulk exploded the game room! Oh, no! I had the high score on the pinball machine in there!"

"YAY!" Bowser yelled. "THE GAME ROOM IS GONE! MY ROOM WAS NEXT TO IT; THAT ANNOYING PINBALL THINGY KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT! WOOHOO!"

"Your room is probably damaged now," Snake told him.

"UUUUGGGHHH! I SPENT WEEKS DECORATING IT! OH, NO!"

He ran out, yelling things to himself. Like, "I HOPE MY DISNEY PRINCESS SNOWGLOBE COLLECTION IS OK!" and "MY JUSTIN BEIBER POSTER MUST BE RUINED! AAARRRGGGHHH!" and so forth.

"Your dad has a Justin Beiber poster?" Mega Man asked Lemmy.

"Yeah, he stole it from Zero Suit Samus." the koopa answered. "He also stole a Loki poster from her and taped it to the ceiling."

"Lucky!" exclaimed Crazy Hand. "FYE is always sold out of those!"

"I thought we weren't gonna do ads in this FanFiction," said Shulk.

"What choice do we have?" Master Hand asked. "We did a Christmas special about visiting videogames we are competing with, and now we're going to Pizza Hut for lunch."

"Really?!" declared Sonic.

"Yeah, we might as well. The Smashers must be starving right now, it's only 3 miles away, my mom would sooner start working in Vegas again than cook all of us another meal, they're cheap, have a variety of food, and it's one of the few eating establishments SSB hasn't been banned from."

"Yes! I loooove Pizza Hut!" exclaimed Crazy Hand as he hugged (?) his brother. "You're the best bro ever!"

"Alright!" Shulk declared as he began doing his victory dance again (he was more limping around than dancing this time).

"Waahoo!" screamed Lemmy. "We should of exploded the kitchen ages ago!"

"Hahaha," mumbled Master Hand. "Sonic, you go borrow a bus from Crash Bandicoot; you know him better and we're gonna need a **BIG** ride. Crazy, round up the rest of the Smashers and make them meet us in the front lawn. I'll go call the restaurant and give them a heads up. Lemmy, go check your father; I can hear his sobs. The rest of you, try to clean this wreck."

"Roger that," Snake said as he pulled a mop out of his backpack and hand it to Lemmy. "You need this more than me."

"Gee, thanks. Hey, where were you keeping this on you?"

"A agent never gives up his secrets,"

"You've been hanging out with Link again?"

"Maybe..."

* * *

**Next stop, Pizza Hut!**

**This had to be the easiest chapter to write yet. All I did was play "SpongeBob Campfire Song Song (10 Hours)" and the words just came pouring out! -You might think I joking, but it's true. Amost all of this chapter was written with that sucker as the background music. I've been listening to is for over 40 minutes now.**

**Thank you for reading! You're awesome! Leave a review if you love my work. Or SpongeBob. Or Pizza Hut. Or Loki. Or Justin Beiber (HA HA HA). Or Crash Bandicoot. Or whatever.**

_**It'll help if you just favorite this.**_

_**BUM BUM BUM**_


	14. Chapter Fourteen: All Piled In

Around twenty minutes later, all the Smasher were lined up in the front lawn. Everyone but Sonic, but he'll be here later.

"Everyone present?" asked Master Hand, stand in front of them holding a huuuuge clipboard.

"Yes!" "Try me." "Jiggypuff!" "Yahoo!" the Smashers declared.

"So, where's the bus?" asked Wii Fit Trainer.

"Yah!" declared Wolf. "Me need to stuff face!"

"Relax, everyone." said Master. "As soon as that bus gets here, we'll head strait to Pizza Hut. But first I must explain one of our favorite things: Rules!"

"Uuuugggghhhhh!" all the Smashers groaned.

"Seriously?" asked Iggy.

"Fox no likey-thisy!" boomed Fox.

"Contain your excitement, everyone. Now, my brother shall break down the ground rules,"

"We don't need rules!" yelled Zero Suit Samus.

"That's what you all said when y'all moved into Smash Mansion, and look where that got us." Master Hand motioned to the kitchen remains (and Bowser in his half-blew-up room crying). "Now, take it away, Crazy Hand."

"Yaaay! With pleasure, bro!" Crazy strolled up and snatched the clipboard. "**A-hem! **Now, first rule: Obey all rules! You hear that, scumies? Listen up!"

"Gee, I never would of guessed," mumbled Ness.

"Second rule: No stealing food off other people's plates! -Or any stealing, while were at it. Bummer, huh?"

"You said it!" exclaimed Dark Pit.

"Nobody cares, Pittoo!" Lucina shot back.

"Somebody give that girl a metal! Now, third rule: No burning, killing, slashing, or mugging of any kind. May sound like Mission Impossible, but you must obey the call!"

Ganondorf's eyes grew big. "Oh, no." he said. "This moron is serious."

"Darn tooting I am! Four and final rule: Whatever Master Hand and I say goes. Now, everybody do the flop!"

"Uh, what is-" Robin began to ask.

"_I said to do the flop, peasants!_"

_**SPLAT!**_

"Atta peasants!"

"Okay, Crazy Hand, step down before you get drunk with power." said Master Hand as he reached for the clipboard.

"Gotcha, bro."

At that moment, a huge blue travel bus came riding into the driveway. It crashed into the back of Mario's go-cart and parked. A second later Sonic came stumbling out, obviously dizzy. He also had a black eye.

"Check it out, guys!" he exclaimed as he ran up to the gang. "Cocoa wasn't home and her brother gave me this shiner,"

"I've been wanting to do that for years," grinned Mario.

"Where did you get the bus then?" asked Ash.

"Oh! You see, I stopped by Conker's on the way back, and he said I can borrow this bus some former bee king owned before his wife kicked him out and he had to sell to Conker. Awesome, right?"

"Wha... wha... A bee king?" asked Pac-Man.

"Pika pika!" cheered Pichu.

"Yeah! We got wheels now!" declared Crazy Hand.

"Well, everyone on the bus." said Master Hand.

"Prepare yourself!" "Watch the power of Aura!" "Let's a-go." "All troops! Move out!" the Smashers declared as they piled into the bus.

When I say piled, I really mean piled. The bus has seating for 45 people, and there are over 60 Smashers, and that's not including Master and Crazy Hand. So yeah... they were all squished in there. Literally.

"Pit, get your freaking butt out of my face!" yelled Mewtwo.

"Why don't you get your face out of my butt, you nasty!" Pit shot back.

"You know, this is not how I saw myself spending Saturday afternoon," Dr. Mario sighed.

"You can try to cure AIDS later, Doc." said Sheik. "First, we got to figure out how to make more room in this- Hey, WHO'S HAND IS THAT?!"

"Heh heh, sorry dude." chuckled Wario.

"Sheik's right," said Master Hand. "I can't feel my pinky. Anybody got ideas on making enough room in here to breath?"

"Air holes!" screamed Captain Falcon. "_Falcon._ Needs. Air. Holes."

"No damaging the bus, guys! It ain't ours." Sonic told them.

"I got a idea!" exclaimed Roy.

"Shoot," said Pit.

"Have all the Pikmins and Lumas stay home."

"Genus!" declared Crazy Hand.

"Raaaah! Raaaaah!" yelled Charizard.

"Good thinking, Roy." said Master Hand.

"What?" asked Rosalina. "Leave my little babies to starve?"

Olimar and Alph shook there heads in disagreement.

"Listen, this is actually very reasonable." said Falco. "Pikmins have the life span of practically 5 hours, and Lumas don't even have mouths."

Rosalina sighed. "Oh, fine. Head out, my little ones!"

Olimar shrugged and blew his whistle. In 20 seconds, all the lumas and Pikmins were out of the bus and head to the mansion.

"We're still elbow to elbow in here!" exclaimed Morton.

"Any other suggestions, guys?" asked Master.

"Rip out the roof so we can breath!" Toon Link declared as he aimed his sword to the ceiling.

"Not going to happen,"

"Nice try, Mini Me." Link patted his younger self's back.

"I got one," said Meta Knight. "Let us have some Smashers ride in the trunk."

"This bus has a trunk?" asked Popo.

"Of course!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Good, then it is settled."

"I don't know, Meta Knight..." said Master.

"It's perfect, bro!" yelled Crazy. "Good thinking, Meta! Now, does anyone care to volunteer to bunk in the trunk?"

"I vote Dark Pit," said Palutena.

"I second that!" agreed Pit.

"Good! Anyone else?"

"What?" snarled Dark Pit. "The one time you basters call me by my real name, and it's to get rid of me?!"

"When you put it that way, yes." answered Palutena.

"Do I even get a say in this madness?" he asked Crazy Hand.

"Nope! Zilch! Nada! So, any other suckers? Heh ha ha!"

"May I volunteer?"

Everybody's head turned at the person that spoke up.

"Lucina?!" exclaimed Marth.

"Seriously?!" declared Ike, who was holding Zelda in hopes of keeping her safe of getting squashed.

"Yeah," Lucina said. "But! It's only because this is a golden opportunity to taunt that little winged creature with no interruption."

"You despicable troll," yelled Dark Pit as he head to the exit.

The young lady smiled at him. "I've been called far worst,"

Dark Pit mumbled curse words under his breath as he and Lucina got out of the bus.

"Any other takers?" asked Crazy.

At that moment Bowser decided to pop in. "HI, GUYS! DON'T FORGET ME!"

"He'll like to volunteer," said King Dedede.

"No, he would not!" Marth shot back. "He would crush the two!"

"Good point," said Crazy. "Bowser, go ride on the roof of this bad boy. You have claws, so it should be easy for you to hold on."

"OKAY-DOKEY!" Bowser closed the sliding door and climbed up.

"Um... Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Wii Fit Trainer.

"Of course! Ha ha!"

"Yeah, that turtle will be fine." agreed Master.

"He's a turtle?!" asked a very shocked Fox.

"Beep bop bip," mumbled R.O.B.

"Did you hear that?" asked Bowser Jr. "R.O.B. wants to ride in the trunk, too!"

"Great! Great! Great!" said Crazy.

"Bip! Beep beep boop!" the robot tried to signal them that Jr. was lying.

"Get on back there, little guy!"

R.O.B. deflated, but went along with it. He slowly rode out and joined the two teens in the trunk.

"Yaay! I can breath once more!" cheered Peach.

"Luigi can feel his feet now!" said the green plumber.

"Good to hear." Master Hand said. "Now, are you still at the driver's seat, Sonic?"

"Yup!"

"Then drive us to that Pizza Hut!"

"You got it! Hold on!"

Sonic put the travel bus in reverse, hit Mario's go-cart again, put it back to drive, and started burning rubber towards the restaurant.

"Soooooo," said Fox. "Anyone wanna sing '100 Bottles of Pop on the Wall'? Yes? OHHHHH, A HUNDER-"

"Anybody got duck tape?" asked Samus. "We can tape him outside as a hood ornament,"

* * *

**Very funny, Samus. That song is my jam!**

**Now to clear up something: The reason they have to share a bus and can't get their own rides is because Master Hand doesn't trust ANY OF THEM. What if Bowser got to the Pizza Hut first? He'll run up a bill OVER 9,000 bucks before anyone else stepped through the door!**

**Thank you once again for reading! Review, favorite, follow, all that stuff if you enjoyed my creativity! :D -Oh, and if you like this, please check out my other fanfics!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Hangin' in the Trunk

Meanwhile, inside the trunk...

"R.O.B., you fat lard, make room!" Dark Pit yelled at the robot as he pushed him into the back a the trunk.

"Pittoo, cut it out," said Lucina. "he's the one who fixed your laptop last week."

"Beep! Bip boop beep!" agreed R.O.B.

"Zip it, metal block." Dark Pit mumbled as he crawled into a corner.

Lucina stared at him, and went over to sit next to him. R.O.B. shook his head, pulled out his iPhone, and began playing Candy Crush.

"So, Pittoo-" she began to ask.

"For the millionth time, don't call me the gosh damn name," Dark Pit snarled through his teeth.

"Well, what am I support to call you? Charlie's Lost Angel?"

"No! My real name, moral."

"...I thought Pittoo was your real name..."

"Beep boop boop," R.O.B. said over his game. "Bip beep boop bip bop beep."

"It's Dark Pit?" asked Lucina. "I thought that was just a internet joke."

"Yes, my name is Dark Pit. Seriously, how could you not know that, Marth? Your one of the few non-dumb living in the mansion."

"Everyone calls you Pittoo,"

"Everyone despises me,"

"Boop! Boop!"

"Oh, can it, light show!"

Lucina fettled around with her sword. "My real name is Lucina, by the way."

Dark Pit scoffed. "Does this looks like a face that cares?"

The princess stared at him for a few moments before answering, "Yes."

The anti-hero looked over to her. Before he could think of something witty to say, Meta Knight just appeared out of thin air.

"Hello," he said. "I have arrived."

"Beep bip boop bip?!" R.O.B. screamed and sat up, hitting his head on the ceiling.

"What the heck?!" yelled Dark Pit.

Lucina sighed. "What do you want, Meta Knight?"

"Fox has gotten Shulk and all the Koopaling Kids to join him in singing 'A Hundred Bottles of Pop on the Wall'. It's pure torcher. So here I am, in hopes to save my ears."

"You got ears?" asked Dark Pit.

"What was that?" joked Meta Knight.

"Listen," said Lucina. "This trunk ain't big enough for the four of us. In fact, it's too small for the THREE of us. Why don't you take R.O.B. and teleport to the bus roof and hang out with Bowser."

"You mean 'hang on to Bowser', didn't you?" Meta asked.

"Does it matter?"

"No. Come R.O.B.,"

Meta Knight grabbed R.O.B. by the iPhone and they vanished to the bus roof.

Dark Pit looked over at the princess. "Why did you do that?"

She raised a eyebrow. "Do what?"

"Banish those two nesciences, but not me?"

"You know, Dark Pit, we're more alike than you think and know."

Dark Pit scoffed again. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"Think about it: We both are newcomers, we both like fighting, we're both classified as clones, we both come from different universes, we both have interesting backgrounds; seriously, how could you not know that, Pittoo? Your one of the few non-dumb living in the mansion."

That made Dark Pit smile. "Your good at this,"

"What's 'this'?" Lucina wanted to know.

"Talking, listening, communicating... I've heard around that your not a good conversationalist, but clearly they don't know what _they're _talking about. For goodness sakes, I've haven't had a pleasant conversation in forever, and it's from you. Your good..."

Dark Pit took her hand. "...for me."

Lucina gasped, then smiled.

And suddenly the bus came to the halt. The two teens collided into each other from the joint.

"We're here, Smashers!" they heard Master Hand declared. "Everyone off the bus! Save yourselves from the singing!"

"THERE WAS SINGING?!" Bowser roared. "WHY NO ONE TELL ME? I BROUGHT MY KAZOO!"

Dark Pit and Lucina shared a look, then burst out laughing.

"It's literally been forever since I've had a good laugh, too!" Dark Pit chuckled.

* * *

**If you didn't notice yet, I enjoy playing cupid with the Smashers. Get use to it, guys.**

**Thanks once again for reading! Wow, can you believe this story gets around 2,000 views every month? That's amazing! Thank you so much, everyone! You are all fabulous!**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: More Fur!

The gang walked into the restaurant ("Single file! SINGLE FILE!" Master Hand yelled as they rolled in), not prepare for the shock they were about to get.

"Hello! Welcome to Pizza Hut! How may I- Ahhhhh!"

All the Smashers' eyes went wide. "_**Sliver?!**_"

The hedgehog dropped the menus he was holding. "Oh. My. Gaga!" he screeched. "How did ja' track me down?!"

"We have our ways," answered Villager. "At least, I do..."

"I can't believe it." said Mario. "You-a work at this Pizza Hut?"

"No, I just like cleaning tables for free and wearing these itchy worker T-shirts. Duuuuuh, I works here!"

"Cool," said Larry.

"This so good!" exclaimed Sonic.

"Does this mean we get a discount?" asked Nana.

"Of course not! In fact, you scums still owe ME paychecks and-"

"Hey, look!" Master Hand broke in. "There's some empty tables!"

**Crash! Clang! **"Here I come!" **Dash! Pling! Boom! **"Ohhhhh!" "Great... AETHER!" **Clang!** "You're mine." **Ka-Bang! Kiiiish... **

About 30 Smashers got seats. But, of course, that wasn't good enough. So they made Fox walk around the restaurant and say hello to all the customers. ("Heeeeyoooo! The best has decided to say hello to this pregnant woman! -You're not pregnant? Are you sure?" "What smell like awesomeness and Windex? This Fox! How'sa going?" "Who wants to see me twerk?! You do, right! No? How about you? No? Well, just incase you guys change your minds later when I leave, I'm gonna twerk now! You're welcome, world!") In just 10 minutes flat, they had the whole the restaurant to themselves.

"Oh, no!" screamed Sliver. "The customers! The money!"

"Smashers!" declared Master Hand. "What happened to the rules we talked about?!"

They thought about that for a second before Ness spoke up, "You never said anything about not having Fox be friendly."

"Good point!" said Crazy Hand. "New rule, pansies! Fox can only communicate through sign language! Awesome, right!?"

"_**Yeah!**_" the Smashers exclaimed.

"But, Fox don't know no sign-" Fox began to boom.

Crazy Hand flew over to him and punch him.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You hurt da' Fox!"

"And if he does talk, everyone gets to punch him!" cheered Crazy. "Woohoo!"

Fox made a face. "But me don't-"

"_Punch the Fox!_"

**Punch! Pow! **"Ouchie! You hurting my furs!" **Ka-pow! Punch!** "My Mohawk! Me Mohawk!" **Pop! Pow! Ka-pow! **"Alrighty! Fox the best will now shut up!" **Punch! **"Mmmmm! Mhhh!" Fox waved his bruised arms back and forth.

"I really enjoyed that," said Little Mac.

Samus nudged the boxer. "Me, too. It felt gooooood,"

Silver about had enough of this nonsense. "That's freaking it!" he hollered. "Everybody out!"

"But... but..." mumbled Kirby. "...but we were promised food!"

"Yeah!" declared Falco.

"Well, too bad!" said Sliver as he held open the door. "But you crazies must take your business som-"

"SLIVER!" as loud, rustic voice roared from the kitchen.

"_Falcon_ must know what the heck was that!" said Captain Falcon.

"IT MUST BE MY AUNT LUCY!" exclaimed Bowser.

"Great Aunt Lucy?" asked Wendy. "Sweet! That means presents!"

"It ain't her!" said Sliver. "It's worst! _It's my boss!_"

A scruffy guy came barging into the dinning room. He was fat, hairy- you know what? Forget the description. Just imagine the dad from "How To Tame Your Dragon" without a beard and actually wearing pants.

"Mr. Sliver!" he yelled as he rushed up to his employee.

"Ye- ye- yes, Mr. Lizmeatard?" Sliver whispered in fear.

Lucario made a face. "Lizmeatard?" he asked.

"I don't get it," said Marth.

"There is nothing TO get!" Mr. Lizmeatard exclaimed to them. Then he turned back to the fuzzy hedgehog. "Listen here, Mr. Sliver! We do not, I repeat NOT, scare off the customers! You understand?"

"But, they scared off the rest-"

"That's not your concern. Your job is to give them serves in order to get there money. Those guys can do whatever they want as long as they don't break anything and make sure to pay their bill!"

"Our what?" asked Rosalina.

"You understand NOW, Mr. Sliver?"

Sliver did a big, dramatic sigh. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now get back to serving these fine money payers RIGHT NOW!"

"Fine..."

Mr. Lizmeatard did a nod and went back into the kitchen.

"Whoo-hoo!" cheered Crazy Hand. "That was like "The Young and Restless", but with more fur!"

"Fabulous," mumbled Sliver. "I'm glad you were entertained."

"Yeah, whatever." said Wario. "Now, give us foooood!"

"Make it rain pizza, dude!" Sonic demanded.

* * *

**They finally made it! It's pizza time!**

**Did y'all miss Sliver? I kinda don't know why people usually have him work at Pizza Hut, but I thought it would be fun to play around with. Turns out it is! Be ready for more of our Favorite Fabulous Hedgehog in the future!**

**It's funny; when I was working on this chapter, someone commented that Sliver should come back. Go figure, hu?**

**Thank you once again for read! Please review, favorite, follow, and review again! **


	17. Chapter Sixteen and A-Half: LOLZ

Silver sighed reeeeaaaally hard at that bad pun. "Whateves!" he said as he began handing out menus. "Now, what would-"

"WAAAIIIT!"

Everyone turned around (except Fox and Samus; they were taking selfies) and found Princess Daisy at the door.

"What the WHAT?" Asked Master Hand.

"Listen up!" Daisy exclaimed. "I have something very important to say to Ganondorf! Where is he?"

The Smashers grab Ganondorf and threw him at the princess' feet.

"Oh, just great..." The villain mumbled as he picked himself up.

"Alrighty! Now, brace yourself, tough guy!" Declared Daisy.

Ganondorf groaned and braced himself.

"I'm in love with you,"

"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" _screamed all the Smashers.

"The scientist are right!" Screamed Lucas. "This is end times!"

Ganondorf raised his eyebrows, then said, "I love you, too."

"Awwww!" Sighed Silver.

"AWWWW?!" Exclaimed Mewtwo. "This is not cute; this is disgusting!"

"End times, I tell you!" Declared Lucas. "End times! We're all gonna-"

"Hey, Lucas. Nintendo just announced that you're coming to SSD 3DS as a DLC this summer!" Said Ash as he held up his phone and waved it back and forth.

"REALLY?!" Screamed Lucas in pure joy. "THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF FOREVER!"

"Hahaha, irony." Mumbled Ganondorf as he turned to Daisy to kiss her.

"No! NOOOO!" Screamed Pit as he covered his eyes. "Close this chapter! Finish it!"

* * *

**April Fools, everyone! Hahaha!**

**But seriously, Lucas is coming back to Smash. YYYYYYUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!**

**I hoped y'all enjoyed this prank! The REAL Chapter Seventeen will be up soon. Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Link Gets a Heads Up

"Not happening. Way too messy." Said Sliver. "Now, you all can help yourselves to the buffet. Heaven knows taking all your orders would be-"

"BUFFET ALL GONE."

"-absolutely horrific, so- Wait, WHHHHHHHAAAAAAA?!"

They all looked over to where the buffet was and saw it was polished clean by Bowser and his kids.

"That was the best!" Declared Larry.

"THANKS FOR YUMMYS!" said Bowser as he held open the door for the Koopalings. "WE GO WAIT IT IN BUS NOW!"

"Dibs on shotgun!" Declared Roy as the turtle family raced to the bus.

"Noooo!" cried Wario. "This means they ate all the Mac and cheese!"

"...And everything else, for that matter." Interjected Sliver. He shook his head and turned to the kitchen door. "Hey, Ms. Momma! Fire up the oven! The buffet went awall, so expect lots of orders to be flowing in soon!"

"Orders, you say?" Asked the lady in the kitchen who must be Ms. Momma.

"Yeah, orders."

"FALCON want a cherry coke and salad!" Captain Falcon called out.

"See? There's one now." Silver said as he picked up a pile of menus and threw them at the Smashers. "Incredible, hu?"

"Yes! Yes! It's cookin' time!" Ms. Momma exclaimed as smoke began coming out from under the kitchen door.

"Oh, boy! Foodies! Yah yah!" Cheered Crazy Hand. "I'll have a banana spilt and the soup of the day! Ha ha ha!"

"Sure," said Sliver. "As soon as that is on the menu. Until then, not happening. Order something else."

"The Original Seven shall split a triple cheese pizza!" Said Link as he motioned his friends.

"Ya mean EIGHT, Greenly Green!" Fox corrected him.

**PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH**

"Nope. Seven."

"Yeah!" Agreed Mario. "We decided to-a kick you out!"

"Ya can't kick out da Fox! Me is already part of history!"

**PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH**

"Whatever," said Samus. "You're still not having any of our pizza."

"Fine! Yo, Sliver furry! I'll have a slice of pizza with extra garlic and olives,"

**PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH**

"Okay! Da Fox gets it! Me shut it right nows!"

**PUNCH PUNCH**

Oh, no." Groaned Palutena. "Not garlic..."

"Yeah, okay, fine." Said Sliver as he scribbled out afew orders on his notepad, ripped them out, and threw them into the kitchen.

"Yes! I'm cooking them now!" Ms. Momma called out.

"I'll have the spaghetti!" Said Luigi.

"Me and Lucas with split the garlic bread!" Exclaimed Ash.

"I'll just have a small salad," said Master Hand.

"Pika pika!" Pichu clapped his paws. "Piiiiikaaaa!"

"Hey, do you guys have any Jell-O here?" Asked Peach.

"Hold on! Hold on! One at a time!" Said Sliver as he wiped sweat off his forehead.

* * *

After fifteen minutes of taking orders, he still had seven more orders to take and nobody had their orders yet.

"Come on, already!" Yelled Wolf.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Ness called out as he smacked the table.

"Okay! I got it!" Sliver screamed. He then used his powers to make three pizzas float from the kitchen to the table. "There!" He declared. "And there's more where that came from!"

"Yes! Our pizza is here!" Kirby held a pizza cutter up and attacked the sucker.

"Oh, boy!" Said Mario as he smiled at the pizza he and Peach were about to share.

"I get the side with the most cheese," Dark Pit grinned at Lucina.

"Okay," Sliver reached under a counter and pulled out his forth note pad of the day. "Who's left?"

Ike and Zelda raised their hands.

"Oh, goody! Only two more." He did a sigh of relief and flew over to the two.

"Okay-doky," he held up his pen and waved it around. "What would it be?"

"Um..." Mumbled Zelda.

"How'sa about we share milkshake?" Ike asked her.

"We don't have those here," Sliver informed him.

"Really? Oh, okay." Ike scratched his head. "Then I'll have a chicken-"

"We're all out of chicken. That kid you guys call Villager ordered the last of it,"

"Yup!" Villager declared as he held up his ax. "And I can't wait for it!"

"A-all out-t-t of ch-chick-chicken?" Ike whisper as his lips trembled.

"It's okay, Blue Boy." Zelda said in a sing-song voice as she rubbed her boyfriend's back. "I know what the end of the world is like, and this ain't it."

"S-same he-he-here," Ike sniffled.

"Oh, brother!" Ganondorf rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you two are still dating,"

"Awww! You two are a couple?" Cooed Sliver.

"HA HAW HAW!" Link hollered. "Those two are NOT dating! Please, that could never happen. HA HA HO!"

Mario and Samus shared a look. "Um... Actually, Link. We a-thought you knew by now," said Mario.

"HA HAW! Oh, man. What do you mean, bro?"

"Well-a, you see..."

Ike suddenly stood up on the table. "Me an Princess Zelda are together, Linky! You had your chance, but you let it pass you by. So now she's with me. Deal with it!"

"Excuse me?" Link spat out as he stood up on the table as well.

"Please! Please! No feet on the table!" Begged Sliver as he flew up to their level. But his plea couldn't be heard over all the Smashers under 12 years old chanting, "_Fight! Fight! Fight!"_

"You heard me," continued Ike. "You and Zelda could of had something, but you chose the fame and glory of being a video game star over her. That deviated her. You knew she was getting picked on for not being the main focus of those games named after her, but you never gave a damn."

"Objection!" Exclaimed Link as he pulled out his sword. "I've always cared about Zelda! Me and her have the greatest bond."

"Oh, please!" Zelda broke in. "Ike's right! You NEVER gave a freaking damn about me! Not once!"

"Yeah, and I just saved you from certain doom a dozen times because I nothing better to do that week."

"No, it's because every time there was a cash reward!" Ike shot back.

Link raised his eyebrows and looked over at Zelda. The Princess shrugged. "What? Just because Nintendo left that information out of every game doesn't mean I can't tell people about it."

"Hey, Mario? Is that the case for you, too?" Asked Little Mac.

"No-a way!" The plumber said.

"Mario did it all out of pure love for me," answered Peach with the biggest smile.

"Yes! I did! -And I had nothing better to do those weeks..."

Link ignored them and exclaimed, "Okay, Zelda, you left me no other option. You'll have to choice between me or Ike! Now, if-"

"I choose Ike," said Zelda without any hesitation.

"-you need time to- wait. What?"

"I choose Ike, of course." Zelda repeated. "No question about it, really."

"Aww yeah!" Squealed Ike as he pumped his fist in the air.

"Link, even tho you blew it with me, I still think you'll make some girl-"

"No, some ONE!" Laughed Snake.

"Uh... Yeah, sure, someone very happy. It's just not me, okay?"

Link looked at Zelda, to Ike, then back to Zelda. Finally, he knew what to say.

_"No,"_

Everyone gasped. Link then started running towards Ike, screaming, "YOU SHALL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY PRINCESS, IKE GAWAIN!"

Link swung his sword at him, and Ike stopped it with his own. "What did I do, Linky?!"

"ENTER HER LIFE!"

The two were now in a full-out sword fight, and the Smashers were loving it.

"Get him, Ike!" Yelled Shulk.

"Slice his head off!" Falco demanded.

"Jigglypuff!"

"You got this, Link!" Declared Mewtwo. "Just aim for his neck!"

"I am so glad I got out bed today!" Said Pit.

"Nooooooo!" Screamed Sliver. "We can't afford blood stains on the carpet!"

* * *

**Now, for a rant:**

**I have read of how you guys are full hearted LinkXZelda fans in the reviews. And I understand why you guys are upset about me instead setting Zelda up with Ike. But, you have to see it in my perspective. I like playing Cupid in this FanFic. I like finding different set ups for our beloved Smashers. It's FUN. By golly, is it fun! So, please, understand where I'm coming from. This is fiction. Pure fiction. And I plan to take advantage of that aspect.**

**Furthermore, I've once read a SSB FanFic about Wii Fit Trainer farting in everyone's face for over 50 chapters. Matching Zelda and Ike up is NOTHING compared to that. **

**Thank you for reading.**


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Unwanted Visitors

_"Today I got to drive, drive, drive! And so I did drive, drive, drive! It was a fun ride, ride, ride! When I got to drive, drive, drive! _-We're home!"

Sonic stopped singing and parked the bus in front of the Smash Mansion's garage. "The buck stops here, everyone!" He called out as he took off his seatbelt.

"FREEEEEEDOOOOOOM!" Screamed Ganondorf as he peeled back the exit door as stamped out of the bus.

"That was worse than the Hundred Bottles thing from earlier," murmured Samus as she barged out and made a bee-line to the Mansion entrance.

"Sonic, you got a voice only a mother could love." Said Palutena as she crawled out from under Lucario and glided to the exit. "And that's only if your mother was deft."

"I'll take a complement whenever I can," Sonic smiled.

"That is-a your definition of a complement?" Asked Mario. "Gee, do a-you have low standards..."

It took ten more minutes of bickering for everyone to get off the bus. Master Hand and Crazy Hand were the last to pile out.

"I still cannot get over this bill!" Groaned Master, waving a receipt half a mile long. "The sum is about how much Nintendo makes A YEAR."

"But boy was it yuuuummy! Ho ha hey!" Exclaimed Crazy Hand, who was covered with pizza sauce.

"77 sodas... 50 pizzas... Hey, who ordered bluefin tuna?!" Master Hand looked up from reading the bill. "That stuff is like $3,000 a pound!"

"Actually, it's $3,500," King Dedede corrected him.

"What?!"

"Yeah, and it sucked! Gee, I'm glad I wasn't in charge of paying."

Master was ready to blow a fuss. But before he could, they all heard Samus call out, "HOLY- Wait, I can't use that word. Oh, well. Guys, your gonna love this!"

"Oh, boy!" Cheered Ness as he ran ahead. "I hope it's explosive!

They opened the main entrance wide open, and-

"LOOK OUT!"

**SPLAT!**

"ARRGH!" Exclaimed Marth as Conker the squirrel ran into him and knocked him over.

"Oh, hey! Sorry there, young lady." Conker said as he got back on his feet.

"My dad's a guy!" Yelled Lucina as she helped Marth up.

"That's good to know, dear." Joked Dark Pit.

Lucina look at him. "I thought you already-"

"It was a joke. Sheesh. -By the was, nice headband, Marth."

Marth rolled his eyes. "Thanks a lot."

"Yeah, I like it, too." Conker agreed with the angel. "But now, if you'll excuse me,"

Conker snatched a gun from Fox and ran towards Sora from Kingdom Hearts. "Give me the darn key and nobody gets hurt!" Conker yelled while running.

"Noooooo!" Screamed Fox as he fell to his knees. "That my gun! I named her Marty Sue! Marty Sue, come baaaaack!"

Dark Pit laughed. "Now this is entertainment," he scoffed as he motioned to the mad house the Mansion have become.

The place was crawling with video game characters. From Eevee from Pokémon, to Toad from Super Mario. From Ridley from Metroid (ABOUT DAMN TIME), to Tingle from Zelda. Even third party characters, like Leo from TMNT and Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony (_groooooan), _were running around. The question was, why?

"Hold on," sniffled Link as he walked in. "So I'm not the-the only one seeing this? I-I thought I was hallucinating from all my cry-crying."

"Nope. I see them, too." said Master Hand. "And I'm **freaking out! **Why the heck are random animals running amok in my castle?! My beautiful mansion!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." interjected Dr. Mario. "You mean to tell me MLP has a video game?"

"OH, YEAH!" roared Bowser. "LARRY ASKED FOR IT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!"

"Don't you mean Wendy?" asked Wii Fit Trainer.

"No."

Ike and Zelda shared a look.

Dark Pit and Lucina shared a look.

Link just kept crying over his broken heart.

"Hey, did you know Pirates of the Caribbean has some of these video games?"

"Yeah, I played one on my Game Boy." said Lucas. "Why does- Oh, my RUM IT'S JACK SPARROW!"

They all turned around and found the captain standing there, right next to Bayonetta. "Savvy," he said.

"Bayonetta!" declared Snake as he ran up to his girlfriend, pushing Jack aside in the process. "What are you doing here?"

"What is anyone one of these coo-coo birds doing here?" screamed Master Hand.

"Ooooh, I can!"

As Jack Sparrow ("CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow") picked himself up, Nikki from Swapnote came running up. "I know why we're all here!"

"Do you know who I have to spank to get some rum?" Sparrow asked the little girl.

Nikki made a face. "What's rum?"

"It makes the world go 'round, little pretty! Ha ha ho!" laughed Crazy Hand.

"That's one way to put it..." murmured Pac-Man.

"Greninja!" suddenly Greninja declared.

"Okay..." Nikki slowly said before regaining her posture. "Anyway, the reason there's all these video game fighters are here is-"

"They found out about my secret stash of marshmallows under my bed, didn't they?!" cried Toon Link.

"Oh, no. Of course not." Nikki insured him.

"Wait," said Rosalina. "You actually have yummy clouds hidden in your room? For reals?"

There was a brief moment of silence. The Rosalina began running to Toon Link's room, giggling to herself.

"No! Not my 'mellows!" the little guy ran over to Bayleef, jumped on it's back, and began riding after the luma princess.

"Ohhhhhkayyyyyy," mumbled Nikki in a state of shock. "So, the reason-"

"If there's no rum over here, I'll just go to the pub." Sparrow decided aloud as he head towards one of the hallways. "Don't wait up,"

"You got it!" Iron Man exclaimed as he flew ahead of the pirate.

"Hey! We don't got a bar!" Pit called out.

"Then I'll just have to make one," he shot back (not literally, of course).

Bayonetta turned over to Snake (yes, they're still here) and rub his chest. "Darling," she purred. "We can follow them, and afterwards go to your room. How does that sound?"

Snake broke out in a big grin and practically carried his girlfriend down the hall.

"I'm going to that pub, too." Wolverine told himself as he walked passed the others.

"Come on, dear! To that thing they keep talking about!" declared Dark Pit as he grabbed Lucina's hand.

"We can't drink yet, remember?" said Lucina.

"Alright, lets skip that and head to one of our rooms. I think mine has a bigger bed..."

"Not happening. Nice try."

"YEAH, EMO." yelled Marth. "NOT H-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G."

"Sheesh." shrugged Dark Pit. "You can't blame a guy for trying."

"HEY!" exclaimed Nikki. "Do you want answers, yes or no?!"

Master Hand made a face like he was trying to shake a headache. "Yes, please..."

"Okay! So, you all must of heard of the Super Smash Bros. Ballot by now, right?"

"Oh, of course!" exclaimed Kirby. "I voted Professor Layton."

"Why thank you very kindly," the professor in question strolled pass.

Kirby turned around and began breathing hard. "Oh, wow! Oh, wow! It's really him! Hiiiii! I adore you!" he cheered as he tried to get a gripe.

"Yeah, so fan all around the world can vote on who they want in Smash. So that character will show up here; as long as the character in question was in a video game."

_FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP _**THUNK**

"...Even if that game is a app!"

"Cool!" exclaimed Luigi. "It's-a Flappy Bird!"

"Do you understand now?" Nikki asked with a smile.

Wario made a face. "...I don't know..."

"Well, if you're not sure, I can give you a ride."

"Gee, I don't- **_GASP!_**"

It was the Doctor Who! (Yeah, he had a game. It sucked. Look it up.)

"My mom says never take a free ride from strangers." said Ash, who had no idea who this Brit was.

The Doctor laughed. "Well, that ain't half bad advice." he remarked.

"I don't have that problem! What's a mom?!" Samus threw herself at his feet. "Go ahead, give me a ride in the TARDIS! Give me a ride to our future!"

The Doctor slowly turned to Sheik. "Is she usually like this?"

"No," Sheik spat out. "But almost everyone else is."

"Interesting..."

"Hey, fellas!"

They all looked over and found Deadpool at the front door, holding Crash Bandicoot.

"Look what the cat drag in!" the anti-hero shook Crash back and forth.

"Hey, I would do nothing of the sort!" Meowth yelled in his own defense.

Shadow the Hedgehog walked into the mansion, took a look around, and walked out.

"Hey! Hey! Stop him!" Gregory from Gregory Horror Show ran up to the door. "Stop, my friend!"

"My, my. What a strange creature." Seaman flopped by.

"**Okay! That's it!**" Master Hand snapped. "**Everyone who's not a official Smasher yet _get out!_**"

"Even me?" asked Bonnie from Five Nights At Freddy's.

"Especially you!"

"Awww! I didn't get to go through Link's stuff yet!" sighed Tingle as he and other characters slowly walked out the door. "Not koo-loo limpah,"

Master Hand nodded his head in satisfaction. But there was one person who caught his eye.

"YOU!" he pointed his finger at Iron Man. "Get over here!"

Iron Man stopped flying and stumbled towards the glove.

"Go fix our kitchen, or I'll have you arrested for trespassing and public intoxication."

"What?" Iron Man slurred. "But why-why just me?"

"Fine. I'll rat Gregory out, too."

Gregory's head spun around. "What?" he asked. "But why me, good... Sir?"

"Because you ARE a rat, you rat! Ha ho ho ha!" laughed Crazy Hand.

"Fine, I'll- I'll fix the damn thing," agreed Iron Man. "But first let me call Pepper."

Iron Man headed towards the kitchen, passing Loki on the way.

"You shall kneel before me!" the ice giant growled.

"Seriously, Horn Helmet, give it a break. Your tone is giving me a headache."

"I'll kneel for you, Loki!" screamed Samus as she ran towards the man in question. "Let me join your army!"

"Gee, that blonde sure is a fangirl." said Gregory.

"**_JUST GET OUT OF MY MANSION."_**

"Please stop yelling," cried Link. "I'm try-trying to be-be miserable h-h-here!"

* * *

**Yaaay! The kitchen shall be back in order once again! Thanks, Mr. Stark!**

**Yes, you read right! Super Smash Bros. is letting you vote on what characters can join the battle. When I first heard about it, I just KNEW I had to take full blown advantage of it in at least one chapter. So, TA-DA!**

**If you want to vote Tingle or Conker or someone for SSB, look up "Super Smash Bros. Ballot". I believe you will have until November 2015 (yes, I just put the year right there) to vote. **

**I'm voting Crash Bandicoot. CRASH FOR SMASH!**

**YAAAAAY! YOU JUST READ THIS!**


	20. Chapter Ninteen: Just Read the Chapter

Everything seem to be back to normal the next day. The kitchen was fixed back to it's original state; except it now had one of those cool refrigerators that look like a cabinet and the dishwasher worked now. The game room and parts of Bowser's room was repaired, too. It's a good thing, too. Bowser crashed in Olimar's room last night and drove the little guy insane with his sleep talking ("NO, PRINCESS. WE HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER CASTLE NOW!" "IGGY, PUT THAT DOWN! IF YOU DON'T, SOMETHING WILL- AND, HE'S GONE.").

In fact, everything seemed so normal that Lucas and Ash decided to play Uno in the dinning room while waiting for Master Hand to update the bulletin board.

"You excited about becoming a DLC, Lucas?" the Pokémon Trainer asked his friend as he put down a red 4.

"Are you kidding?! Of course!" exclaimed Lucas. "Shulk is gonna get his butt handed to him!"

"That's the right kind of attitude!"

Right then Master Hand flew in holding a few papers. The two were expecting this, but they didn't expect all the other Smashers to stroll in as well. But that's what happen. One by one, everyone in the mansion walked, flew, or rode in.

"Hey, what's with the party?" asked Ash as he adjust his hat.

"Master Hand called for a meeting," replied Ganondorf.

"Yeah, and there better be refreshments!" said Wario.

Master Hand heard this. He turned around and exclaimed, "This is not the time for snacks! Now, everyone line up against the wall!"

"But I gotta take a leak," protested Ness.

"_Just do as you are told, scumbags," _the glove growled.

"Geepers!" said Wolf as he made room for Ness to stand next to him. "Is it that time of the month for Master already?"

"Hey!" yelled Crazy Hand. "Nobody gets to make fun of my brother like that but me! Ha ha ha! I thought you all knew that by now. Haw haw ha!"

"You, too, Crazy Hand!" said Master Hand.

"Say whaaaaaaaaaa?"

"Get over there! I'm on a power march here!"

Crazy murmured a few choice words as he went to the back of the line.

"Okay, now everyone better be here,"

"Guys?"

They all looked over to Link. He was a semi-mess. His eyes were red from so much crying, he was only wearing a Snuggie, and he was using his signature hat as a tissue.

"Link?" said Zelda.

"Oh, mama mia!" exclaimed Mario. "You are a-not look so hot, my a-friend!"

"Y-yeah." sniffled Link as he rub his nose. "It w-w-was a rough n-night."

Ike turned to his girlfriend. "Karma's a pain, am I right?" he joked.

"Get a... a... what's it called?..." Zelda snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah! A video camera!"

Master Hand rolled his eyes (again, ?!). "Ugh, what is it, Link?"

"W-well, you see-see-see, Snake told m-me to tell you-you all t-t-that he c-can't m-make it to t-t-the meet-meeting. He's b-b-busy w-with some-"

"Oh, for crying out loud!" exclaimed Robin. "What Link's is trying to say is Snake is still feeling Bayonetta up and is not going to bother showing up."

"Of course," murmured Little Mac.

"Hey, what those 'feeling up' mean?" asked Lucas to Ash.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Ash answered. "But I think it has something to do with the lights being off..."

"Wait a minute," said Wii Fit Trainer. "How did you know that, Robin?"

"My room is right next to Snake's," Robin sighed. "Gosh, I haven't slept for hours!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stopped listening at 't-t-that'," said Master Hand. 'Now, can you all just let me get to the point?"

"I don't know," Pit said as he rubbed his chin. "We want this chapter to have at least 700 words,"

"Pit! Shhhh!" Palutena hushed her best warrior. "Don't say stuff like that!"

"Oh, relax." Pit brushed her off. "People live for fourth wall breaks like this! It makes things interesting. Why do you think Deadpool is so popular?"

"Dude, enough with the enforcements," said Sonic.

"Butt out, Super Speed. We just did a WHOLE CHAPTER about the third party. Hey! You see that! She just capitalized 'whole chapter'! Our writer gets what I'm laying down here."

"Pit, that is enough." Master Hand shook his index finger.

"Did you really have to write 'index finger'? Do you really have to be so descripted."

"BEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP!" mourned Mr. Game &amp; Watch.

"Oh, good. It's been forever since we last heard from Mr. G &amp; W. Good to see he isn't dead to you yet, BraveMerida."

"Is this really necessary?" asked Pac-Man.

"Let me finish. Hey, reader! Yeah, you reading this fanfic right now. Congrats on learning how to read; I never had that privilege. I love your hair. It's almost as good as mine. Heh heh. Anyway, so what do you think about Ike x Zelda? In reviews, most of you despise it. Well, too bad! BraveMerida enjoys exploring the concept, and that's all that matters! But we do appreciate you reading and giving your opinion. We really do! You guys seem to be okay with Dark Pit x Lucina, so that's good. There's a Guest who reviews this fanfic, and the person really loves the pairings. Awesome! Thank you for all the good vibes, Guest! BraveMerida just wished she knew your actual FanFiction name so she could PM you a thank you note. Hey! It just came back to our writer's mind. Someone said they'll accept Ikelda is we do Palutena x Mewtwo. How about that, Captain?"

"NEVER!" she screamed.

"That's what she said. Oh! Another thing: Should we bump the rating to Teen or just keep it in K+? We probably should, right? Hmmmm..."

"Pit, this is getting aggravating," exclaimed Falco.

"So what? Steven Universe pretty much broke the fourth wall for 11 minutes strait in 'Say Uncle'."

Oh! That reminds me! I should put a Rebecca Sugar quote on my profile!

"Yeah. Definitely." Pit agreed.

"ENOUGH!" yelled Master Hand. "Okay, I'll tell you what's the deal before we go sidetrack again: This taking turns cooking thing is obviously not working. So we have to get a permanent chef. I spent all night trying to think of someone who'll work for almost nothing and I succeeded. We must hunt Young Link down."

"What?" exclaimed The Ice Climbers. "Really?"

"Wow!" gasped Pit. "Plot twist!"

"Oh, just great." murmured Toon Link. "More me's to go around."

"I-I-I really stop-stopped carrying," sniffled Link.

"Who?" asked Rosalina. "Oh! Right! That little boy who doesn't wear pants! Yeah!"

"Yeah, so a gang of you have to go find the little half-nudist in Majora's Mask. I've taken the liberty to already choose who the gang will consist of. And it'll be Mario, Link, Little Mac, Dark Pit, and Lucina. Oh, and just so you know, the only reason Dark Pit is going with them is so the trouble maker will not bug me for a few hours."

"Again, of course." said Little Mac.

"Hold on," said Mario. "How are we to a-get there?"

"I don't know! Go use one of Crash Bandicoot's portals or something. Now, get going you five. I'm getting hungry."

"And now for a editorial from BraveMerida!" declared Pit. "At least, that's what she likes to call those things,"

* * *

**Thanks for the intro, Pit.**

**Yeah, so that was really... Something. I actually don't got much to say; I already covered it all through the eyes of Pit!**

**Well, how about the rating thing? I really think I should bump this up to Teen (finally). But, I'm know I'm not going to start cursing and describing characters getting it on. But I know some of the things "suggested" in this story isn't appropriate for a K+ rating. So, I don't know. What do you guys think? I know you'll all be honest!**

**Speaking of which, thank you all for the reviews! Good or bad, short or long, mean or nice; I read and treasure and love each and every one of you guys reviews. It makes me feel so special to have people take the time to read this and then write out there thoughts on the subject. So thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! =D**


	21. Chapter Twenty: The Portal Here We Go!

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **"Crash Bandicoot!" **KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **"Crash Bandicoot!" **KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **"Hey, furry! Open up!"

Lucina rolled her eyes. "Really, Dark Pit?" she asked.

"What?" he asked. "Do you have a better idea on getting him to open up, dear?"

"Of course not, but you don't have to bust down his door down in the process."

Yup, you guessed it. Mario, Link, Little Mac, Dark Pit, and Lucina were at Crash Bandicoot's front entrance trying to get in so they could use one of his portals to go to Majora's Mask. But the fact no one dared to answer the door is not a good start for this gang's quest.

"Excuse me?" asked Little Mac. "Can I give it a try?"

"Be my guest, Muscles." Dark Pit murmured as he stepped away from the door.

Little Mac went up to the door, cuffed his boxing mitts around his mouth, and yelled "Freeeeeeee wumpaaaaaaaaa fruuuuuuuuuuuit!" on the top of his lungs.

"That should a-do it!" cheered Mario.

They waited five seconds. Finally, they heard someone do the locks. The door swung open and there floated Aku Aku, Crash's floating wooden mask father-figure (trust me, it makes actual sense in the games).

"Hello there." he greeted them. "Crash be not here at the moment. He's out trying to find Sonic the Hedgehog's house so he can burn it down."

"He-he-he lives in a h-hut, you k-k-know." sniffed Link, who was still in his I-Don't-Give-A-Damn-About-Life-Anymore outfit.

"Interesting," Aku Aku said. "I'll mention this to Crash when he returns. Now, might I be able to help you children?"

"Yes you can, Hawaii Head." said Dark Pit. "We need a free ride."

"Very a-funny, Pittoo." sighed Mario. "You see, sir, we need to a-use one of your a-portal things to go to... Uh... Where the heck are we a-going?"

"Woodfall, Termina." answered Lucina.

"Yeah, that place!"

"Oh, yes. I can help you with that." said Aku Aku. "Please, come in."

The five followed him into the hut. They went down a hallway and in a storage room.

"Here it is," he declared as he pulled a sheet off and revealed the portal.

"Oh, yeah!" cheered Mario as his victory song went on.

"Mother?!" exclaimed Dark Pit as he fell to his knees in front of the portal.

"Uh... dear?" Lucina said as she kneeled beside him. "That... that is not the Mirror of Truth that-"

"Shhhhh," Pittoo placed a finger over her mouth. "Don't ruin this for me. Let me have my moment."

Lucina made a face. But she let him have it.

"Y-you two are s-s-so c-cute," sighed Link as he blew his nose. "ENJOY IT WHILE IT LAST. I kno-know from experience th-th-that love is a c-cruel game! It's s-s-s-so hard-"

"For the love of violence, Link." Little Mac rolled his eyes. "Pull yourself together. You act like you've never been dumped before."

"I-I-I haven't!" Link cried. "I've been da-dating the s-s-same girl f-f-for around t-two decades! MY Z-Z-ZEEEEEELDAAAAAAA!"

"Whoa. Two decades? Really?" asked Lucina.

"Ha! I a-beat you in that area, Link!" smiled Mario. "Me and Peach have been going steady for OVER two decades! Ha ha ha!"

"Really?" asked Dark Pit as he got up from the ground. "She's obviously only in it for a good time, then."

"Pittoo!" Little Mac scolded.

"Am I... missing something here?" asked Aku Aku, who was just floating there, taking all of this drama he had no idea was about in.

"Yes. Clearly." answered Lucina, shaking her head. "Listen, Aku Aku, just ignore all that. Can you send us to Termina now, please?"

"Right away, child. All you have to do is jump into the mirror, and you shall be transported to your destination."

Dark Pit gave the mask a side view glance. "Jump into it?" he asked. "That's ridiculous."

"Whatever! I've done weirder." said Mario as he ran towards the mirror. "Towards the past! Oh yeah!"

He jumped into it and disappeared.

"Wow," exclaimed Little Mac.

"I can use that thing to clean my room." said Lucina.

"Good to know; now I know what to get you for our 3 month anniversary." replied Dark Pit.

He strolled up to the mirror, pushing Link aside in the process. The angel scoffed at the fighter, then jumped in.

"For goodness sakes, Dark Pit." sighed Lucina.

"I-I-it's okay, Lu-Lucina." mumbled Link as he just lied there on the ground. "I'm use to l-l-life bring me do-down."

The princess rolled her eyes. "Link, you're becoming a real drag." she said as she jumped into the mirror.

Link ignored that comment and just kept lying there. Little Mac was about to jump in, but Link grabbed him by the feet and stopped him.

"Carry me?" Link asked.

"Are you serious?" Little Mac raised a eyebrow.

Link, without looking up, nodded his head.

Little Mac groaned at the ceiling, but agreed. He lift Link up and, heavily, jumped into the mirror with him over his left shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Aku Aku watched this, then chuckled. "That poor little green boy; I hope he gets better." he said to himself. "I also hope those people are able to find a way back."

* * *

**I DID IT! It took weeks, but I finally updated this. **

**Sorry for the wait, everyone. I just discovered Wattpad, so now I'm trying to write a original story. Wish me luck.**

**...That, and I've been busy fangirling over Avengers 2. Heh heh.**

**Don't worry, peeps. Link will stop being moody soon. I just need to play around with his emotions a little more. **

**Thanks you all for reading! You're beautiful!**


	22. Chapter Twenty-One: Staring at Sea

The gang were transported to the outside of Deku Palace. The area they were in was full of lush wood life. It was like The Garden of Eden swallowed them into her majesty.

"Wow." gasped Little Mac. "This place is nice."

"Well, compared to our dump of a mansion, yes." murmured Dark Pit.

"I know, a-right?" agreed Mario.

Link -after Little Mac threw him onto the ground- inhaled deeply. This land brought back so many memories. Some good (He missed running around with only a "shirt" on. The police won't let him get away with that anymore.), some bad (Ganondorf, that jerk-off. He's the guy who started trolling, you know.), and others bitter-sweet (Zelda. That's it. Just Zelda.). It was so good to be back in Termina.

"I needed this." he sighed to himself.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Mario as he jokingly placed his hand over his heart and stumbled backwards. "Link said a-something without s-s-stuttering! Someone call the media! Mama Mia! We must alert the world!"

"Funny, Mario. Funny." murmured Lucina, clearly not amused.

"Why a-thank you." the plumber took a bow. "I'll be here all week."

"Actually, we should get moving." Little Mac jumped in. "Something tells me if we don't bring back Young Link soon, the Smashers will burn down the mansion in a hungry rage."

"That seems legit," Dark Pit nodded.

"Oh, yeah!" exclaimed Mario. "Lets a-go!"

The gang went deeper into the woods. The pat they were taking became more and more overgrown as they went on. The birds sang loudly and freely around them. It was like they were singing exactly for them. The gang found it beautiful. -Well, everyone but Link. He found it eerie.

"I'm telling you people, there's something wrong with these song these birds are chirping." complained Link as they walked along.

"Relax, Link. It's just birds." said Lucina.

"Yeah." Agreed Little Mac. "You're probably just dehydrated from all that crying earlier."

"Dehydration causes your mind to go nuts?" asked Dark Pit. "Man, you humans' metabolism are weird."

"At least our brains aren't weird! Ha!" Mario laughed at his own joke, turned to Lucina, and raised his hand for a high five. Lucina just glanced at him and shook her head.

"I'm telling you guys, there's something off here." Link insisted.

"You think too much, Link." answered Lucina.

"...And you don't think at all! Ha!" Mario laughed again. But this time he got snubbed by Little Mac.

It went on like this, Link complaining about something creepy and Mario making everybody cringe with his bad jokes, as they walked and made it out of the woods. The singing birds faded away and were replaced with the sounds of the ocean. Waves crashing on shore, the seagulls calling out to one another; it was all quite beautiful. This shut up Mario's comedy act, but Link was still suspicious.

"Am I the only one that can see that?" he asked, pointing to the birds from earlier. They were just flying above them in circles, as if they were watching. Spying. Waiting.

"What part of 'relax' did you not understand?" Lucina scoffed. Everyone else just ignored him.

"Oh? You all are just going to ignore me now, hu?" Link asked.

"Yep,"

"Sure. Why not?"

"It worked before."

"Yeah."

"Fine!" Link exclaimed. "See if I care!"

"Gosh," Dark Pit whispered to Lucina. "His mood swings are worst than a Justin Beiber fan."

Lucina laughed. Link shot the couple a look.

"Okay, guys. Keep your a-eyes open for Young Link." said Mario. "We shouldn't-"

"Hey! What's that over there?!" Lucina called out as she pointed to something on the shore.

The walked towards it and it turned out to be Epona, the horse. She was standing on the beach, staring towards the ocean. Her mane flowed in the wind, but she seemed not to notice it.

"Oh," said Mario. "It's a-little horse!"

"Epona!" declared Link as they came up to her. "How's it going, girl?"

The horse act as if she didn't notice them. She just kept staring forward.

The five looked at where she was looking and found nothing. Epona was eider staring at some invisible mirror only she could see that hovered over the sea, or she was just staring at nothingness. It was probably the latter, mind you.

"Um... Epona?" mumbled Link as he patted her back.

"Greeny, what's wrong with your horse?" Dark Pit asked.

"I wish I knew. This is awfully strange-"

Suddenly, the birds circling over them began singing again. But, this time, the song wasn't beautiful. No, not at all. The song they sang now was sinister and disturbing. It felt as if the song was creeping closer and closer, trying to sink into you, wanting to swallow you whole. Yet, it felt familiar. The song was acting as if it wanted to be calm, but the only thing it could do was be the opposite.

"Is that... The Song of Healing?" asked Little Mac as he, along with everyone else, watched the birds sing.

"Yeah," answered Mario. "But backwards."

"That cannot be good," said Dark Pit.

Lucina turned to him and took his hand. "Don't worry, dear." said Dark Pit. "You don't have to be afraid."

"Oh, I'm not scared." Lucina shot back. "I've seen you cry during Toy Story 3. I'm making sure you're not afraid."

Before Dark Pit could say something back, they all heard something appear. Yes, heard it appear. They turned around and found a statue just inches away from them.

"Oh, yeah! It's Young Link!" cheered Mario.

"No, it's not." said Lucina. "It must-"

"RUN!"

They turned around and saw Link running down the beach.

"Hey!" yelled Dark Pit. "What's your problem?"

"Run, damn it! That's no statue! _It's Ben Drowned!_"

* * *

**Dun dun duuuun! Shocking plot twist!**

**Wow. I am seriously shocked you guys didn't see this coming. I've giving you guys two chapters to take in the whole "they're going to Majora's Mask" thing and absolutely NO ONE guessed that this would happen. Not a single Ben joke. I don't know if I should be happy or disappointed. :/**

**Yeah, so you might of noticed I've become more descripted in my story telling. Don't worry, this fanfic will stay funny forever! I'm just trying to improve on my writing skills, that's all. I hope you like it.**

**Shout out to **DjBennyD **and **pokemonfan67**! Thanks for the positive feedback!**

**Thank you all for reading! Leave a review if you want. It's finally summer, after all. You got all the time in the world to review this thing. **

**YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL!**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two: Please Welcome HMS

As Link ran like a loonie down the beach, the others did there own things.

Mario screamed, covered his eyes with his hat (as Luigi showed him how), and just ran in random directions. He knew this wasn't a very smart choice of action, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. There was pipes to jump into, no turtles to stomp on and throw at the statue; none of his normal stuff. So he just blindly ran around, crashing into trees and tripping over shells.

Lucina pulled out her sword and tried to strike Ben. She swung three times at him, but each time her sword went right through him. He kept on smiling with that creepy grin of his, as if he enjoyed watching her efforts fail. He probably did, actually.

Little Mac asked "What's Ben Drowned?" but nobody answered.

So Little Mac, while petting Epona, watched Link run. The sword fighter ran down the beach a ways, stopped, looked around, and then ran into the forest. He was gone for about fifteen seconds, then returned. He ran down the beach again for a ways, stopped, looked around, and then ran back into the forest. And so the process continued; it was a very long beach. -Until he just suddenly vanished. Gone. As if he suddenly became the wind.

Little Mac made a face. He turned to Pittoo to ask if he was the only one who saw that, but the anti-hero was too busy having a staring contest with Ben.

Dark Pit studied the statue. He looked it right in the eyes, thinking it would help the situation somehow. Ben smiled back, like he was challenging Pittoo. The angel couldn't decided which was creeper: The statue's smile or it's eyes. Pittoo was about pull out his scepter when Ben suddenly vanished. -Only to reappear, but now just inches away from Pittoo's face.

He became as pale as his original, Pit. He couldn't move -even blink- for a few seconds.

When he finally came to, he was very poetic about his death-defying experience and what must be done next.

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope." he repeated to himself as he turned around, scooped up his girlfriend, and began flying towards the ocean. "Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope."

"I couldn't agree more," Lucina said to him. She rapped her arms around his neck as they flew forward.

But suddenly she remembered something. She look down and yelled to Mario and Little Mac, "Look alive! Run!"

Mario lifted his hat. "Oh, yeah!" he exclaimed. He adjusted his hat and began running the same way Link went. Anything to get away from this nightmare.

He only ran two yards before Ben appeared in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

"MAMA MIA!" he screamed. All the color in his skin washed away from the shock of the statue. He tried running a different way, but Ben just appeared again. Mario gave up at that point. He sat down on the sand, used his hat to cover his eyes again, hugged his knees, and rocked back and forth like a child.

Lucina gasped. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw that," she exclaimed.

"See what?" Pittoo asked. He was too busy trying not to fly into one of those singing birds (_who would not shut up_) to notice some-

GASP! Ben just appeared in front of them!

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" the two screeched. Lucina accidently let go of Dark Pit and began plummeting towards the earth. She fell through the air in a way anything other than graceful. But right before she face-planted on the ground, her boyfriend caught her. Clutching her close, he held her like she was a stolen jewel.

...But while he was saving her, Pittoo lost complete control and accidently nose-dived into the sea. Oh, well.

"Arrgh!" yelled Lucina once she swam to the surface. "Water up the nose! Gah!"

She began swimming towards the shore, but after just a few inches she stopped and began yelling again. "No! Ugh! There's seaweed under me! Gah!" she splashed around like a lunatic. "How is it touching my feet? I'm wearing booths! Ugh! Disgusting!"

If you thought Lucina was in a embarrassing case, check out Dark Pit: He was gasping for air, being swallowed by the waves, spitting out water, splashing about; the works. "Horror! The horror!" he screamed over the waves. "Pit never learned to **COUGH **swim! Oh, damn! Why those this water have salt? This is no way to run a ocean! What was mother nature thinking? **GASP! **I think I swallowed a guppy! Help me!"

As Lucina attempted to calm the angel down, Little Mac was watching from the beach. He was horrified by how these so-called fighters were acting. "It's just a statue!" he exclaimed at them, speaking his mind. "Sure, it's strange and magical and all, but it's still just a statue!"

"It took Link," Mario protested as he kept hugging himself.

"You can't prove that." Little Mac shot back. "Link does a lot of sketchy stuff; he probably just used that flute-"

"Ocarina," Lucina called out right before diving under the water.

"-ocarina of his to locate Young Link." finished Little Mac.

Lucina swam back to the surface just in time to hear that. "Gee, I wished I had one of those right now." she gasped while picking seaweed out of her hair. "I think Dark Pit just drowned."

"Serves Pittoo right," Mac declared as he continued petting Epona, who was still staring into space. "He had Ridley swallow Ike. Me and Ike smash at the Paper Mario stage every Friday night. You have any idea how many weeks it took Ike and Zelda to get all the saliva out of his cape?"

"Boo-hoo," Lucina sneered. "Dark Pit wrecked your little schedule. How tragic."

Little Mac gave her a disgusted look. The princess just shrugged, then went under again.

"Hold on," Mario said as he slowly raised his hat. "If Link can do that, why did we have to use that bandicoot portal to get here? Why couldn't Link just play a song and transport us here?"

"Because, of course, Link does not have a ocarina. Only Young Link does. At least, in this fanfiction, it is."

"Oh, I-a understand. Thank y- **EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!**" Mario turned to the man who spoke and screamed.

Lucina, with Dark Pit over her shoulder, came to shore and screamed. Even Little Mac was taken back by the sudden appearance.

_**It was the Happy Mask Salesman.**_

"Where the heck did you come from?!" Lucina demand as she gave Pittoo CPR.

The Salesman turned to her. He was smiling, as always. That big, creepy, unsettling smile of his covered half of his face. The way he carried himself, the huge backpack with masks covering it, the loud clothes, the way he was always hunched over; it was strange as it is. But for some reason -maybe the fact he just suddenly appeared on the beach- he gave of a vide creeper than normal. The birds singing Song of Healing backwards even seemed louder now that he was around. As if the song was just for him; his theme song.

HMS took a step towards her. He had only one thing to say to her:

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

"Obviously!" cried Mario.

Lucina stopped punching Dark Pit's chest for a moment and tried to make eye contact with HMS. But she couldn't, because he always had his eyes close. And yet he never ran into anything.

She quickly looked away and went back to giving her boyfriend mouth-to-mouth.

Little Mac scoffed. "What's the big deal about you?" he asked the Salesman, walking towards him. "Sure, you just randomly appeared. But you don't scare me."

The Salesman turned to the boxer. He replied, "You shouldn't have done that." and then gave him a nod.

Suddenly, Little Mac burst into flames! His whole body was suddenly covered with fire. He also couldn't move, all he could do was be swallowed by the burning.

"**Aaaaaaaaccccccccckkkk! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Oooooooooowwwwwwwww! Heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk!**" he cried with such pain and misery as he fell to his knees.

"Little Mac!" exclaimed Lucina.

Even this didn't get Epona's attention. Dang, stubborn as a mule, that horse is.

The Happy Mask Salesman just stood there, grinning happily at the festivities.

Mario looked up to see what all the screaming was about. "What-a is the big- MAC!" he saw the flaming boxer and screamed. He jumped to his feet and ran towards him. He lunged at Little Mac like a football player and pushed him into the ocean, which killed the fire.

"Oh, yeah! Mario number one!" he declared as he did a peace sign and began to dance about.

Little Mac hit the water at the same time Dark Pit came to. "Oh, hey." he murmured, still a little woozy. "Thanks for saving my life, dear."

"Anytime," said Lucina as she helped him to his feet.

Dark Pit wobbled a bit, but he was able to ask, "What did I miss?"

"Oh, this creepy guy suddenly showed up" (Lucina pointed to HMS, who waved.) "and had Little Mac light on fire."

"Really?!" he exclaimed. "Little Mac? On fire?"

That's when the boxer in question crawled to shore, covered with burns. "It looks like," he mumbled before collapsing on his back.

"Oh, man! I miss all the fun stuff," Pittoo groaned.

"Oh, don't worry," HMS smiled as he approached the angel. "You can be the next to anticipate in the subject."

Dark Pit smiled back to him, happy someone has offered to- Wait. The subject? As in, being lit on fire? "Ooooooooh, no thank you." he answered as he grabbed Lucina's hand and began walking towards Epona.

But Ben appeared in front of the couple and stopped them in there tracks.

"You don't have a choice, Pittoo." the Salesman cooed as he slowly went towards them, reaching his clammy hands out to grab.

Suddenly, completely out of thin air, Young Link appeared. He stood in front of Dark Pit and Lucina, blocking HMS from even touching the two. Young Link stood strong; with his head up high, arms crossed, and spine strait. -But he still wasn't wearing pants. Oh, well. No body's perfect.

He blew the hair out of his face and stared the Salesman down. HMS grin at him. "You shall get out of my way," he said.

"No!" yelled Young Link, pushing the man down. The Salesman hit the ground with a soft _thump._ Ben appeared next to him, not helping but just there to save face.

Mario gasped. "Whoa! You CAN talk!" he exclaimed.

"It's nice to see you too, Mario." Young Link answered.

Then he pulled out his ocarina. "Everyone, gather around me." he said. "I'm going to get us out of this freak show."

"But to where?" asked Dark Pit as they got together.

"To where Link disappeared to. But I'm sorry to say that you all won't like it."

Young Link began playing the instrument. The tune went slow and soothing. As he played, a fog began to engulf the five (Epona didn't care about any of this junk). It covered them head to toe, and slowly blind them all.

Right before the fog completely swallowed them, the Happy Mask Salesman sat up, reached out, and exclaimed "You shouldn't have done-"

_POOF! _They were gone.

* * *

**That. Was intense.**

**Thanks, everyone, for telling me to bump this up to teen. I never thought I would get that serious in here. Wow. I surprise myself sometimes.**

**Yeah. So, about Ben Drowned. I'm not following the original story word-by-word, but I'm trying to keep the whole vide and essence of the creep pasta. Like Epona staring at the ocean, the Happy Mask Salesman, Ben popping up everywhere, stuff like that. I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Now, to answer a few questions: Okay. I get it. Y'all want longer chapters. So for now on, chapters will have at least 1,000 words. I hope you all are happy now.**

**And about my first fanfiction. Yes, this is my first SSB fanfic. But, no, it's not my first fanfic. My first I wrote about a year ago on a different website, then posted on here. Around a hundred people read it. It was about The Avengers trolling Loki and stuff. You would not believe how embarrassing and immature and embarrassing it was. Right before I began writing A Taste of Smashiness I deleted it on here, and later I made sure to rid every trace of it. Yeah, so don't ask to read it; it's gone forever (THANK GOODNESS).**

**This is my second fanfiction, and I'm proud to say I'm proud of this. :D**

**Oh, and my Wattpad account name is 1231heyo. Would you believe BraveMerida was already taken on there?!**

**Thank you all for once again reading! Woo-hoo!**

**(P.S. Please leave a review. I posted this chapter 48 hours ago and nobody has reviewed yet. I usually get around half a dozen reviews by now. I'm starting to worry.)**

**(P.P.S. As in "starting to worry", I mean COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!)**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four: Pikmins and Ryu

Hey! You want to check up on the Smash Mansion to see what they're up to? No? You say you just want to see how everyone at Majora's Mask is doing? Well, that's too bad. This chapter is about the Mansion whether you like it or not. Deal with it.

On the outside, the mansion looked about the same. Flower beds dead, windows in desperate need of washing, Pikmins running amok in the yard without guidance; everything looked normal. But in the first time probably ever, it was raining. Only in little sprinkles, but it was enough have all the Smashers lock themselves in, refusing to go out until the sky stopped crying. This is a video game world, damn it! Rain was practically obsolete there.

So the Pikmins ran about all alone, enjoying their freedom a little too much. They dug the dead flowers out and stomped them all flat. They "borrowed" Shulk's skateboard and used it to ride up and down the driveway. They found a land mine and used it as a Frisbee for a second (That's it. Only one second. Take a wild guess what happened after they threw it.). They even somehow uprooted a tree in the backyard and threw it into the trunk of the Great Fox.

They were just about to venture into Peach's garden and dig up all he plants when Olimar, inside the mansion, walked pass a window in the front room. He was playing himself on his 3DS while heading towards the kitchen, in hopes that all the food hasn't been eaten yet. He glanced up to see if the clouds were still showering the earth and saw his babies out there! The hundreds of them, all alone, in the cold, miserable, rain! Oh, no!

Olimar gave a silent shriek and dropped his game. He then pulled out his iPhone and texted Alph to come help (the text reads: **Oh, mi moly!**** tem pinkmuns plaeing in tha frunt yard! SOS! Cum help!**). He then dropped _that _and a ran to the entrance.

He burst through the door and clopped down the stairs. The rain drops splashed on his helmet and ran down the glass in streaks. But he ignored that; he had little ones to save! He looked around and saw them gathering shovels to bring to the garden. It took at least seven Pikmins to pick up one shovel. A few of them grew bold and tried to pick a shovel up with only six Pikmins, but they were admittedly squashed. Their ghost slowly flew into the sky in rainbow colors and disappeared.

Olimar silent-shriek again. He then grabbed hold of his whistle. "_Feeeeaaaat!_" the thing played as he gasped into it, in hopes to get his Pikmin's attention. Luckily it work, but a little too late.

Sure, they came running up. But two dozen of them carried over a gallon of gasoline that they were planning to use in the garden. The little man's jaw dropped open. So this is what happens when he leaves his kids alone for five seconds. He blew the whistle again while motioning with his left hand for them to get the heck away from him.

But his "get the h-e-double hockey sticks away from me" was misinterpreted by the little creatures. Instead they thought it meant "go dispose of that do-hicky". So they began to march away from Olimar. He gave out a huge sigh of relief, but soon took it back when the Pikmins tossed the gallon into Mario's go-cart.

"_Feeeeeeeeaaaaaat! FEEEEEEAAAAAT!_" his whistle screeched. He began to run after them. As he did so he jumped up and down, shook his head, and waved his arms like a chicken. The look on Alph's face when he came outside and saw that was priceless.

But it was too late for the go-cart. The Pikmins were fast for a change and tossed the gasoline in.

**_"FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAA-"_**

**KA-BOOOOOOM!**

Olimar fell to his knees as he watched Mario's prized go-cart go soaring into the sky. Chunks went flying everywhere, scattering the sky like a firework. Pieces came crashing to the ground, ruining things like the hood of the Great Fox, landing on the mansion's roof, and crashing in Peach's garden and making dirt go flying. The Pikmins cheered at the sight of this. They have succeeded on there mission! In trumpet they turned to Olimar, only to find him rolling around on the ground with Alph just watching him do so while chugging down a XXL coffee.

Just then a lone taxi rode into the driveway, squashing a few of the little ones. Not paying any attention to that, a thug of a man carrying a sack came out of the left back seat, paid his driver, then slammed the door. The taxi driver honk in thanks and got the heck out of that funny farm.

Alph looked up to see who was crazy enough to visit this place. It turned out the thug was Ryu! Olimar smiled because he heard Master and Crazy Hand talk about him coming. Finally, someone new to smash into a wall.

Ryu tossed his bag over his shoulder and looked around. If the sight metal on fire scatter about wasn't bad enough, Ryu also had two grown men sighing in the middle of the yard and multicolored creatures cheering about the destruction to groan at. "Man," he murmured to himself. "this place looks worst than I thought."

He was just about to turn around and try to chase the taxi down when Alph walked up. The little guy stared at the fighter and sipped his coffee. That's it.

Ryu gave the fellow a side glance, and said "Uh, please tell me this is not the real Smash Mansion and my taxi driver dropped me off at Uncle Grandpa's house instead."

The little guy didn't answer. Well, of course he didn't, he couldn't talk. He just kept standing there until his coffee ran out. Then he turned around and tossed the cup at Olimar. The mug hit his helmet, bounced off, and fell to the ground. This didn't even make Olimar look up, he just kept mourning about himself.

Alph shrugged at this, then turned back to Ryu and smiled. Have you ever seen Alph smile? No? Well, have you ever seen the Joker smile? There you go! That right there is it.

And of course the sight of that made Ryu turn around and try to chase the taxi down.

Actually, he went hurdling towards the direction the taxi went. His friends were right, he should of just stayed home. He ran like a mad man down the streets, his arms flapping, his feet stomping, and sweat pouring down his face. Forget Super Smash Bros.! Ryu decided on sticking to Street Fighter and that's it.

Olimar looked up just in time to see the guy start running. He sighed and slowly came to his feet. His Pikmins rushed over to help him get up. Once standing, Olimar began walking back to the mansion. He was now going to hit the pub Captain Jack Sparrow made when he visit and nobody cared to take down. Olimar have seen other Smashers drink their problems away (Mewtwo before being asked back. Snake and Bayonetta all the time, that lady is practically living here now. Samus after being forced to babysit Fox. Wolf because he really didn't have anything else to do. Crazy Hand practically drinks in his sleep. Roy before he was asked back. Ect.), maybe it would work for him.

But before Olimar even reached the steps, Master Hand came bursting out the door. He flew up to Olimar and yelling in his face, "WHERE DID THE STREET FIGHTER GO?!"

That shook Olimar up. All he did was point to a yellow Pikmin, who pointed to Alph, who then waved at Master and pointed at Ryu running like a mad man.

"RYU!" exclaimed Master Hand. This glove could not afford to lose this fighter. It's Ryu, for goodness sakes! The Ryu, from their enemy game Street Fighter! If he lost Ryu, Nintendo would never let him hear the end of it. "Ryu! Ryu!" he called out.

Ryu turned around, saw _a flying hand_, and began to run even faster. This place is a freak show!

But Master Hand wouldn't let him escape. The glove went after him. Luckily he was faster than Ryu; that, and all the rain made the road slippery so Ryu kept on falling down, but Master obliviously doesn't have to worry about that. In just 10 seconds he caught up the Ryu, grabbed him by the waist, and began carrying him back to the mansion.

"Oh, Ryu, yo little rascal!" Master Hand nervously chuckled as they head back to the mansion. "You thought you could catch a taxi? Oh, hilarious! You think to highly of yourself. Ha ha..."

By the time they reached the mansion, Ryu's frown had left permanent wrinkles. Great. Looks like he's in this for the long run.

"Now, to show you around the place." said Master as he opened the door, threw Ryu in, and went in after him.

Olimar went in after them. He hoped the pub was having the lunch special. He slowly walked into the mansion, his feet dragging and eyes watching them move.

And that left Alph and the Pikmins. Alph just stood there in the rain for a moment, watching the droplets come down. After awhile, he looked around. The Pikmins watched him as he ran about, making sure no one else was there.

Finally, when he was sure the Pikmins were the only souls there, he took off his helmet an placed it on the steps. He then opened his mouth to speak! "Listen up, my Pikmins!" he declared in perfect English! "I got a job for us all!"

The little creatures looked on him in awe. This midget knows how to talk?! Amazing! And he had a beautiful voice, too. It sounded like if Johnny Bravo and Rose Quarts got together, Alph's voice would be the result of it.

"Now, come!" continued Alph with his powerwalk. "We shall highjack the Great Fox and crash it into Peach's garden! Why? Because! Now, onward!"

The Pikmins cheered. Yay, more destruction!

* * *

**I only have one thing to say:**

**R.I.P. Satoru Iwata 1959 - 2015**

**Thank you for everything.**


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five: Your New Home

"Welcome to your new home, Ryu!" Master Hand declared after he carried him into the mansion and dropped the fighter onto the floor. "I admit, it's a little tacky, but there's a roof over us, so this place is doing better than last Christmas Eve! Ha ha ha, gee I wished that was just a joke..." the glove sighed. "Oh, well. This is still home. Not half bad, right Ryu? Ryu?..."

The man in question just lied face-first on the floor. He could tell from just the state of the carpet that his "new home" was far worst that "half bad". It was dirty, like any carpet would be. But it was so dirty, he bet anything actual dirt would be more pleasant to lie on. It was moldier than cheese. And smelled like motor oil and... blood? Oh, gosh, it's blood!

Ryu rushed to his feet. He hated the feeling of lying in blood that's not his. He dry-heaved a little, then shivered all over. "The carpet has blood in it," he informed Master Hand after that episode of nausea.

"Oh, that." the hand waved the fact aside. "Yeah, that's probably Fox's. Or Shulk's. We've stopped keeping track after Brawl. Wendy was suppose to be in charge of cleaning up bodily fluids, but..."

"...Ain't nobody got time for that!" the girl in question laughed as she rode in. She parked in front of Ryu, pulled a Red Bull out of her ride, and began chugging it down.

Ryu made a face, but Master Hand just waved this all aside because it was normal. "Hi, Wendy!" the hand said. "I'm glad you're here. Listen, can you-"

"Ha!" the girl turtle laughed as she threw the drink at Master. "Like I said earlier, _ain't nobody got time for that!_"

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Master Hand exclaimed.

"Ha ha ha! Ain't nobody got time for that! Ain't nobody got time for that!..." she kept repeating as she pulled out of park and went laughing towards one of the two bathroom.

By now Ryu needed mental help. "What was THAT thing?!" he asked as he pointed to where Wendy went.

"Hm?" Master Hand looked down from the crack in the ceiling he was studying. He noticed the perplexity on Ryu's face for the twentieth time today. "Oh! Oh, that was Wendy. She's Bowser's only daughter (as far as we know). Just ignore her actions. It's completely normal."

"_Excuse me?_" shrieked Ryu as he ran his hands through his hair, trying to take this all in. "_It's completely NORMAL?_"

"Oh, yeah. Well, at least in her case. She gets her love for laughing like a hyena from her mother. Well, I guess it's from her mom. Gee, if only we knew who her mom is..."

Ryu's left eye began twitching. He looked around the room in a daze, trying to get a hold of himself.

The entrance was in a even worst state that the floor. The walls were a yellowish-brown color, kind of like a old banana. They probably use to be white, but have aged disgracefully. The ceiling was in the same state, too, but with over a dozen cracks in it. Water was slowly coming in from said cracks and dripping down to the fur-like carpet, which Ryu could still smell. And don't even get me started on their poor excuse of furniture they had in random corners.

After studying all of that, his right eye began to twitch as well. "Has... Has this place always been so cruddy?" he mumbled to the glove.

"Actually, no." Master Hand sighed.

"Wait, wait, wait." Ryu began waving his hands back and forth as if to signal Master to stop the plane. "There was a time this place wasn't a trash heap? This place looks like it's been a dump since the beginning of time."

Master Hand shrugged. "Yeah, I know. We're not proud of it. But this place-"

"-Is like this because of THIS little guy!"

The two looked over and saw come gliding out of the library (Oh, right. This place has a library. Almost forgot.), dragging a Pit behind her. Palutena look very upset about her existence. But Pit just sat there, letting her drag his butt across the floor, as if this was completely normal. -In fact, it probably was.

"Oh, hello!" Master Hand waved to the two Skyworld residents. "Pit and Palu-"

"_Palutena and Pit._" the lady interrupted him as she motioned Pit this get his rear off the ground and stand up straight.

"Oh, right. Palutena and Pit, what are you two doing here? I thought you two were suppose to be smashing with Peach and Greninja."

"It got canceled." Pit answered.

"What? Why?"

"Because Greninja is busy getting over a hangover." Palutena replied. "In short, it's Pit's fault!"

"_Lady Palutenaaaaaaaaa,_" Pit groaned like a child. "They don't have to _knooooooow_."

Ryu became interested. So there's a excuse for this place making the Chum Bucket look like The White House? Now that is a must-know. "No, please. I have to here more." said Ryu. "It might help me stop going crazy."

Palutena turn to Ryu and smile. "Well," she said. "It's because-"

"_Please dooooooooon't,"_ Pit groaned, but was ignored.

"-Pit had to go and open his big mouth and get us a TEEN rating!"

Master Hand and Ryu just stood there in confusion. Then Master Hand exclaimed, "Now, to explain in the next chapter!"

* * *

**GOSH DANM, THAT TOOK FOREVER.**

**Okay, I know I said I'll post at least one chapter a month, but for some reason I'm having the worst writers block. So I'm taking September off. **

**But do not fret! I'm not leaving forever. This fanfic WILL get a official ending. Just not anytime soon.**

**ONWARD! **

**(P.S. Please leave a review and junk.)**


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five: What Have I Done?

"Yes! Finally! The break is over!" Pit suddenly cheered like he hasn't talked in about two months. He yanked his arm out of Palutena's iron grip and began dancing around the other three. "Yes! The haitus has passed! Ha ha ha!" Pit threw his halo-thingy into the air like a graduation cap and began doing his excuse of twerking.

Palutena was taken back by the shakin', but only a little. She soon began giggling at her angel's little boggy, but it soon broke out into a full out laugh, complete with gasping and snorting. She reached over, picked Pit up, and as she held him by the waist she spun him around like a little child. Pit laughed like one, too.

Even Master Hand was happy I've stopped being lazy. He rushed over to the dinning room and yanked open the doors. He then exclaimed to the Smashers inside (all the Bowser kids, who were playing poker) that the haitus was finally, finally over. After about five minutes of telling them no, he wasn't lying this time, the kids cheered and cried tears of joy. This was loud enough for all the other Smashers to hear from all over the mansion. They all came running in and saw all the happiness. They quickly concluded what this meant, and began cheering and crying and dancing.

Falco and King Dedede squawked in joy like the birds they were. Ike grabbed Zelda and broke the Guinness World Record of longest bear hug. Browser gather his children and they all began doing a conga line, which a drunken Snake and Bayonetta (yes, she's still here) joined in. Pichu was so happy he just zoomed about, running into people and electrify them. Peach and Rosalina stood against a wall and clapped their hands and cheered. Sonic, Shulk, Greninja, and Mega Man broke out a dance route the four created themselves, which involved way too much foot stomping. Captain Falcon and Pac-Man for some reason raised their hands in the air in perfect sync and waved them around like they just don't care. Squirtle literally jumped off the walls, splashing water everywhere. Wii Fit grabbed one of the poor excuses of furniture, found Robin, and the two lit the-

"HELLO?!"

They all stopped celebrating and looked over to the yelling. There stood Ryu, standing strong and breathing hard. The first three forgot about him for awhile there, while everyone else didn't notice him until now. But now that they have, they were quite curious.

"Oh, hey!" said Shulk as he began to take off his shoes because his feet were sore from all the stomping. "You're the new guy. Yeah, I foresaw you coming today. Welcome and stuff to-"

"Enough!" screamed Ryu.

Half of the Smashers were taken back by that sudden outburst, the other half were just confused. -Well, except Shulk. "I foresaw that, too." Shulk insured no one.

"What is this?!" he cried, motioning to all of them. "What are!... What can!... What? WHAT? WHAT?!"

"Quite the poet, this one." Samus joked, who was just about to toss Fox through a window out of happiness.

"This place is nuts! You ALL are nuts! You know that?!"

"Last I checked," "Speak for yourself." "BEEEEEEEP! BEEP BEEEEEEEP!" "Welcome to my world!" "Is this a intervention?" was the responds he got shot back at him.

Ryu squeezed his eyes shut so hard that he could feel his eyebrows cement into a permanent scowl. He took a deep breath, then screamed, "You're mansion is on the right of knock-off Detroit and the left of no where! I've seen dark allies that would make better places to live in than this dump! One minute you're having a civil conversation, next you break out in a flash mob, complete with wounds and enough noise to break a sound barrier! You all must of just rolled in from stupid town!... Or Rondomville... Or Crazy Town!... Or- oh, you get what I mean! Practically all of you are nuts! Nuts, I tell you, _**nuts!**_"

They all took that reality check and swallowed. Sure, it was over-the-top, but in a sense, kind of true. Which was why nobody spoke for a few seconds. Guilt silence.

Finally, Palutena broke the silence. "Well, that's Pit's fault as well." she uttered.

"**_Palutenaaaaaaaaaaa!_**" Pit once-again groaned like a child.

"No! Let her talk!" Ryu turned to the angel and snapped at him. "She's one of the few sane ones. Let her shine some light on this."

Wolf chucked at that remark. "Heh heh. He said 'shine'," the space animal said.

"_Let her talk,_" Ryu repeated, not understanding the reference.

"Well, listen." Palutena began.

"You know I hate doing what I'm told!" Ganondorf called out.

Ryu, of course, heard that. He turned to Ganondorf, stomped over to him, _picked him up with one hand_, and threw him at Wolf. The furry was knocked down like a bowling pin by the... well, whatever Ganondork is classified as, and the two splatted onto the floor. Now that was a mess Wendy wouldn't touch even if you promised to pay her with Red Bull wings.

"_**Let. Her. Talk.**_" Ryu hissed at them all.

There was one synchronized ***GLUMP***, then everyone and thing went completely silent.

Ryu smiled at what he accomplished. "Go on, Palutena." he said as he turned to her.

The lady was taken back by those actions, but only a little. She was use to men being driven insane by her presents. "Well, it's actually quite simple." she told him. "One day Pit got cocky and destroyed the four wall with asking the reader questions and such. One of the questions was about our rating, and it turned out we've been a K+ fanfic for far too long. Our writer use feedback like that to improve, like bump us up to TEEN and beginning to be more descriptive. But the good, came with the bad. She decided to use her new writing techniques to send four of our least-insane members and Mario to some jungle in a different realm and describe this mansion as a total trash heap. And that TEEN rating: At first it was great because now we had freedom to do... Things." (She looked over at two of our three power couples so far: Ike &amp; Zelda and Snake &amp; Bayonetta. The four dodged the lady's eyes and wiped their brows.) "But soon it went horrible, with almost everyone old enough to drink making utter fools of themselves, cigarette buds ruining the carpet, and Greninja selling 'grass types' in the halls. So yeah, I enjoy blaming Pit for it, but in reality it's our writers fault."

Hey! No fair!

"Well, it's true." Palutena shrugged.

"Actually, that makes sense." Ryu said as he groomed his invisible beard. "Yeah, it all makes sense now... No wonder everyone is nuts!"

"And you're no different," Falco pointed out.

"True." agreed Ryu. "But, hey! It's not my fault! It's BraveMerida's!"

**_"YEAH!" _**they all cheered.

...This is one of the reasons I took two months off...

"Oh, really?" Wario asked. "I figured it's because you love attention, but the reviews have slowed down."

Heck no. I just needed a break because school was starting back up and stuff. Who made you my therapist?

"That's actual up to you," answered Lucario. "In fact, you could have a Mii fighter of you join us if you wanted to and have Wario mentor you. -But, in reality, you'll be mentoring yourself."

Ugh, no. I'm completely above egotistical things like that.

"...She said while writing a chapter about typing to herself." retorted Marth.

Very funny. Now, listen here, you face kickers-

"Do we have a choice?" asked Luigi.

Of course not. Now, listen up real well, because I'm only gonna type this once: I understand why you all would be negative about your situation. Well, of course I understand! -But anyhoo, back on subject. Now, may I ask all a question?

"Do we have a choice?" Roy asked now.

Good point. I should stop asking such ridiculous questions.

"So?" asked Popo.

Of course not! Okay, so obviously this place is a dump. Do you all deserver it? Probably. I'm looking at you Bowser. But nevertheless, I guess I've gone a little too far on the dumpiness. Just a tad. But I have learned my lesson. -Actually, no. I'm just tired of the mansion being crap. So, I ask you, how may the mansion be fixed up for you Smashers? Please, suggest anything. But not getting rid of the bar; that place is comedy gold, I'm keeping that in whether y'all like it or not.

"Hmmmm..." muttered Mega Man as he thought. "How about a charging station? You know, for electronics?"

Well, I would say yes if you and Samus weren't probably the only two who would use it.

"Understandable," Samus agreed.

"Cotton Candy Machine! COTTON CANDY MACHINE! **COTTON CANDY MACHINE!**" Bowser's kids chanted at the top of their voices.

Okay... Yeah. I can do that. I'll have it installed as soon as the plot allows it.

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Larry.

"I hate waiting!" Bowser Jr. whined as he swung his hammer around.

Ugh, why didn't I change your personality?...

"What yo talking about, brooooooo?" boomed Fox from the leash he was on. (Yup. He's on a leash now. I just had to.)

Okay, never mind. Anything else, peasants?

"A chocolate waterfall in the dinning room!" exclaimed Ash.

Yeah. Not happening.

"A yoga room," said Wii Fit.

Use your own stage.

"Make them stop using my vacuum without-a asking!" cried Luigi.

Whoa. They do that? Wow. Why didn't I write that sooner? Oh, right. Like most things in this fanfic, it doesn't move along the plot in the slightest.

"What are you talking about?" asked Bayonetta, who was keeping Drunk Snake on his feet but not really well.

Sweetie, you're a living example of what I talking about. Anyway, about the Luigi's vacuum. Yeah, so, you guys just leave it alone, okay? Don't make me punish you all for not listen. But I'm not above punishment. If y'all disobey, I'll have the dining room roof ripped off again.

"OH, COME ON!" roared Bowser.

Oh, please, Bowser. You're not in a position to complain; I just fixed up your room. Now, any other request?

"Yeah." said Master Hand, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "You quit with these pointless rambling chapters and get on with the main plot."

Sure. Why not?

_Poof!_ Suddenly, right out of thin air, Young Link appeared!

"Whoa!" exclaimed Master. "Gee, thanks!"

Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it. Oh, just so you know you, Master Hand, if you didn't have asked me to move things along I would've just had you all ask me random questions for the next four chapters.

"Really?"

PFFT. No.

"Oh. Well, I wouldn't have put it pass you..."

Young Link, on the other hand, stood there. He looked a little intimidated by the fact all the Smashers were burning holes into him with their eyes. He just look down at the ocarina and studied it as he flipped it over and over in his hands. He looked somewhat sad, like a little boy who just lost his friends in- Oh, gosh, I left them in Termina. Cruuuud.

Young Link! I'm so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean to forget you all! I just wanted to give one of the mute characters a chapter. Then they announced Ryu coming, one thing lead to another... Yeah. Sorry for stranding you guys for over three months.

"That still doesn't explain why you left the others there," Young Link answered back.

Oh, yeah. That's going to help the plot along. Duh. Now, let me write you.

Young Link sighed, put his instrument in one of his pockets, then exclaimed, "Everyone! Listen up! I need your help!"

"Whoa," said Pac-Man. "What happen to him being like a sad little boy?"

THAT was uncharacteristic. He's actually very daring and brave. At least, I mold him to be.

"What?" asked Ryu.

Never mind.

Young Link made a face at me, then continued. "Alright! First off, everyone, I didn't lose them; they lost me. And second, I know where they are, I just need some of your help getting them back. Three of you, to be exact. Now, who wants to volunteers?!"

He stood there with his arms wide open, ready to take whoever volunteers with open arms. But, naturally, no one was interested. They were all going to be too busy Retweeting Star Wars tonight to go on some other-dimension quest. They instead just stood there, burning holes into him with their eyes, waiting for him to stop hoping and just break out crying. Gosh, why have I molded like this? Besides comedy reasons, of course.

Looks like _I'll _have to pick the victims. Okay, listen up, all you chicken legs, I'm going-

"Oh, no you don't." interrupted Master Hand, using his voice of reason. "I believe picking creatures for unpleasant duties is my thing."

Oh, right! How foolish of me. I'll just let you have the joy of choosing what happens. Oh, and while you do that, I'll go organize my Garfield Fat-Cat collection, paint the roof of my mom's UFO, and iron my shoes.

"Your family has a limo?!" exclaimed Ness.

Hahahaha. Of course not. I was being sarcastic. As always.

"Oh." Ness mumbled.

"How about the Garfield collection?" asked Peach.

...Um...

Master Hand shook his... well, himself. "Not important," he said. "Now, quit trying to steal my thunder and let me pick our lucky victim!"

Hey! No! I'm the writer, so I'M going to chose what happens! So, I chose that _I PICK THE VOLUNTEERS._

"You can't dot that!"

I JUST SAID I CAN. SO SUCK IT.

"You both know this argument is going to get us nowhere, right." Sonic just came out ad asked.

Palutena agreed with this. "Not to mention it makes little to no sense."

Okay. That's it. This chapter is already 2 chapters long anyway. I'll just cut you a deal, Master Hand. You let me _personally _pick who helps Young Link, and I promise to never do this again.

"Define 'this'," he demanded.

This. Ya know, come right out and talk to you all as ridiculously as this. Palutena's right, this kinda does make no sense. Yet, at the same time, it kinda does... Hm...

Master Hand thought it over. "Okay, deal!" he exclaimed. "But choose quick; before I change my mind."

You got it! Okay! Ryu, Marth, and Peach, go help Young Link!

"Excuse me?" "What?!" "But then I'll miss The Muppets!" is the reactions they gave out.

"Yay! Finally! So help!" Young Link declared as he embraced the three.

"Oh, great." mumbled Ryu. "Now I'll definitely go nuts like all of you."

I know. Ain't it great?

"Okay! No time to lose! Let's go!"

Young Link pulled out his ocarina and began to play it. The melody he played this time kinda sounded like something from Grease. Strange.

_Poof! _And, once again, they were off!

* * *

**I'll try to never do that again.**

**Heyo, amigos! Sorry that took forever. I really have to up my game, don't I? Heheheheh... That wasn't a joke... Heheh...**

**Okay, listen. I really hope that whole 'me exploding the four wall' thing made at least a ounce of sense. I just felt like, I don't know, doing something different. Being ever more ridiculous than usual. Yeah, I didn't know it was possible, either. HORRAY FOR ME! YAAY!**

**Enough of that. Thanks again for reading! HOORAY FOR YOU FOR READING! YAAY!**

**Oh, and review and stuff. I'm trying to sound ever so casual about review, but I bounce around whenever I get a new one. So please review! YAAY!**


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six: Light Waves

When we last left out hero's, a certain writer promised to retain on breaking the four-wall and have the mansion fixed up to it's original glory- or, something that means glory but cheaper. But first, a Young Link and three other (forced) fighters must travel back to his land in order to save their fellow Smashers from certain doom with wits, strength, and team work. A great and

So now the three were crying like babies as they traveled through some kind of portal-thingy Young Link's ocarina made them go through.

Peach, Marth, and Ryu screamed as the portal rushed them to their destination. Around them it was green and white light waves circled round and round, causing them to float as they traveled. There was a shrieking-like sound coming from the waves. They could only see the lights, themselves, and nothing else because the waves were so thick and strong. So naturally, this was freaking them out.

Peach screamed louder than that time Bowser kidnapped her. And that other time. And that other time. Oh, and don't forget that other time. Anyway, the waves kept spinning her all over, causing her hair to get all messed around, covering her face and making her look like she had a beard. Oh, and her crown fell off and for the life of her she could not see it anywhere. She blamed the her hair-beard covering her eyes all the time.

Marth wasn't doing so well, either. He screamed as he flipped about, accidently kicking Young Link a few times and kept finding himself upside-down. He'd been in strange situations before, but this one definitely takes the cake for strangest. After almost puking from being turned over, he started flapping his arms in hopes that it would keep him from flipper over again. It actually worked; he was up right and facing forward, just what he hoped for. Sure, he looked absurd flapping like a hawk, but that was the price he had to pay in order not to blow chunks.

Ryu was a wreck. Seriously, the other two looked like they were doing ballet compared to him. He was flipping over and over like a ceiling fan, smacking into everyone and always on the verge of puking. He tried the flapping arms thing like Marth but it just made him look like a loon as he collided into people. That, and the fact he screamed like he was getting chased by Ridley did not help the situation in any way.

And then there was Young Link. This was about the millionth and first time he'd used the ocarina, so this was just another casual Tuesday for him. He just relaxed, lying down like he was on a couch, with his arms behind his head and his legs crossed. He was just to this wave lights thing, but he also understood why the others were freaking out from it. So he just let them do so; they'll get use to it eventually.

Aldo the twelfth time Ryu smacked into him did set him off.

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Young Link as he came to a standing position. "This is just dimension traveling! Is this really THAT strange to you three?!"

"Why, yes." "Absolutely!" "Now that you mention it, it is." the three in question answered in what they thought was bored voices, but really they were shouting.

Young Link rolled his eyes and crossed his arms; body language for obvious annoyance. "Amazing." he muttered as he pointed at each of them one at a time. "A princess with a mutant turtle king as a admirer, a hero king that obviously can't afford a decent haircut, and a body-building battler with a growing mental issues being rattled by a little portal traveling. Just my luck."

"Hey!" exclaimed Marth as he flapped about. "I am NOT a princess!"

"Oh, Marth." Peach sighed through her beard. "He was referring to me that time."

Marth came to a up-right position just to say this: "Oh."

Then he went right on flapping.

"Okay, Green Little Bean." Ryu exclaimed the best insult he could muster as he floundered about. "First off, I do not like to be called a 'battler with growing metal issues'. Second, 'rattled' is such a understating way to say 'being driven nuts'. And finally, this is not 'a little portal traveling'! Anything but! This is a crazy trip a mile long through a some crazy sh-"

And _Poof!_ they made it to where the lost Smashers were.

The portal's light waves cut and the four found themselves five feet from the ground. That may not sound like much, but try _falling _from that high. 75% of them screamed as they touched down. Peach's face slapped the ground, along with the rest of her. Marth did a little bird-like squawk and fell to his back. Ryu cried, hugged himself, and landed on the floor in a heap. Young Link just landed onto the ground feet first, standing the whole time.

He gave a sly grin to the three, mumbled "Puny Smashers.", then walked away.

Ryu wiped his eyes as he rolled to his back. That realm traveling really sucked the strength out of him. He sat up and stared at Young Link's back. For the life of him, Ryu could not understand how that little guy does this all the time. That pants-less blonde was about the half the size of Ryu, and yet seem more focused and put together. Ryu groaned as he messed up his hair and looked around. He made a mental note to pull himself together the moment they got back to the mansion. Or run the heck away from the place. Whichever first. He studied the area and-

Wait.

_They were in The Happy Mask Salesman's shop._

"Um..." he mumbled as he came to his feet and walked towards Young Link. "Why are we here, Green Little Bean?"

Young Link rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that. Or anything, actually. Whenever you try to insult me it lowers the IQ of the whole block." He faced Ryu and shook his head. "And just engaging in a talk with you lowers mine."

Ryu's hands turned to fist as he counted backwards from a hundred in his head. "You didn't" he said slowly. "answer my question."

"I thought we were light traveling to where the lost fighters are," said Marth as he sat up, which you could hear.

"We have." Young Link replied as he walked towards someone.

The person look like HMS from behind, but just without the huuuuuuuuuge backpack and skinnier. Young Link taped on his shoulder and said, "Excuse me?"

Turning around, that person happened to be Little Mac! -You could tell by the nametag. "Welcome to Happy Sales Mart," he muttered with a voice as bored as his face looked. "May I be of help?"

Ryu was so taken back that he took a step back and tripped over Peach's face and fell to the ground again.

* * *

**YEEEEEAAAAHHHH! I did it! I wrote a chapter in less than a month! I'M BACK ON TRACK! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**

**Anyhoo. Guys, guess what! Today, literally today, is the one year anniversary of A Taste of Smashiness (originally titled "Smash Supper", but changed because it really didn't make sense)! YAAAAS! Oh, wow. One whole year. Can any of you guys believe it? I sure can't. I thought I would be done writing this AGES ago. Alright, to celebrate, I have wrote a poem. *AHEM***

_**Smashiness**_

_**A poem**_

**This is a poem about Smash  
I wrote in a dash  
Because this day came in a flash  
**

**But I am proud  
Of my followers all around  
And of the stories I have found**

**The End**

**I really did not think I would publish this chapter in time, so that poem is all I got for you.**

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TO ALL MY FOLLOWER AND READERS! Seriously, you all are the best. I cannot stress enough how much you guys mean to me. You're feedback improves my writing. THANK YOU!**

**Thank you once again for reading and favorite-ing and reviewing! ****YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL!**


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven: Shop and Shock

Taken back by Ryu's reaction of Little Mac, Marth decided to really see what was the tragic. So he stepped over the Ryu heap, walked over to Young Link and studied the overly-bored boxer. And damn, did he look bored. He just stared forward; not staring at the two but through them and through the wall behind them and beyond. But Little Mac's new outfit did fit his new outlook. He wore a very oversized dark purple long sleeve with brown slacks- Okay, yeah, he was dressed just like HMS but without the humongous backpack and with a look on his face opposite of as creepy smile. Oh, and don't forget the nametag. _Your helper LITTLE MAC _it read.

"Oh, wow." said Marth, taken back as well. "Friend, when is the last time you slept?"

Little Mac still wouldn't make eye contact. He just muttered, "About a hour ago." and kept staring forward.

Young Link and Marth shared a look. Young Link just figured the place must of ran out of coffee before the boxer could get his hands on some, but Marth was quite more concern. He have never seen Little Mac so unhappy before. Sure, hearing him compare and correct all things all the time wasn't a picnic, but it sure did beat have him not care at all. Marth was concerned.

"Are you sure you okay, Little Mac?" he asked as he waved his hand in front of the guy in question's face.

No response. Just a continues forward stare.

"Oh, a-please stop worrying about a-him." Mario walked pass, carrying a old box full of tacky hats. "It's making a-me feel bad for a-you as well."

The two now looked at Mario. He was dressed just like Little Mac, only the hem of his long sleeve reached the ground. _Your helper MARIO. _He looked very tired and stressed out; his face clearly read that he despised his new line of work.

"Little a-Mac is fine." Mario told them, huffing a little from the weight of the box. "He just missed out on all the-a coffee."

"Ha! I knew it!" exclaimed Young Link in trumpet. Marth gave him a rude look, but he really didn't care. Sure, a hero should care about everyone and look out for all's well being, but that's not why he came back here. His mission was to find the lost Smashers again and take back to their mansion. The first part is done, now to the second.

"Hey, Mario." said Young Link. "Are all of you guys working here?"

"Yeah. Pretty much." Lucina suddenly came walking in from the back room. "Well, everyone but Link. He's a customer."

They looked over and saw Link in front of one of the mask racks. He was carrying a shopping basket and was exterminating a Donkey Kong mask. It was HMS newest stock and Link thought it would be cool to use this on Diddy Kong. Or send to Zelda and Ike as a gag gift. Link then pulled himself out of his own thoughts and noticed that those four Smashers were staring at him. He smiled and waved as he tossed three of the masks into the basket.

"See?" Lucina said.

"Oh." was all Young Link could muster.

Marth, on the other hand, was now concern about something else. "Lucina!" he exclaimed as he shoved Young Link over and rushed over to her.

"Dad!" Lucina exclaimed as she let Marth pull her into a embrace.

Young Link grumbled some choice words as he picked his butt of the floor and watched the hugging. Marth held Lucina lightly and softly, like he was careful not to crush her. He rest his chin on her head and stroked her hair. On the other end, Lucina almost squeezed all the wind out of him with her embrace. She had her biggest smile on her face that showed all her teeth as she shoved her face into his chest. They seemed so relived and ecstatic to see that they were both okay. Young Link would've gagged if it didn't suddenly make him think of something.

"Wait a minute," he said as he walked back up to them. "Lucina, I thought Chrom was your father?"

Lucina was the first to pull away from the embrace. But only so she could answer the question. "Oh, yes. He is." she replied.

Ryu now came up and looked at Young Link. "Hey, how did you know that?"

"I've seen Chrom come over now and then to play Yatzee with Robin." he answered, then turned back to the princess. "Okay, so why do you call MARTH DAD?"

"Simple." Marth said as he began counting his fingers. "I'm actually Lucy's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather, but that is obviously too long to say on a daily bases, so I just let her call me Dad; it sounds younger than 'Grandpapa". At least when Chrom's not around."

Young Link and Ryu now just stood there, VERY, VERY, UTTERLY MIND BLOWINGLY CONFUSED. Ryu slowly turned, walked over to Little Mac, took his nametag, fixed it, _Your helper RYU,_ and now wore it. "May I be of help?" he asked a wall.

"Great," yawned Little Mac as he walked away. "Less work, yet my work is never done." He shook his head and disappeared into the backroom. Probably to check if they refilled the coffee pot.

Then Dark Pit flew in from that room. He was carrying a box under one arm, and the only coffee pot under the other. He had is signature _W__ell, I'm not caring again _grin on as landed in front of one of the product tables. He then pushed all the displays on it to make room for the stuff he was carrying, which he just threw onto the table and walked away. He chuckled to himself as he clapped his hands together to get the dirt and dust off them.

"Oh, Dark Pit! Can you come here, please?" Lucina exclaimed as she waved him over. Dark Pit looked up, gave a real smile, and softly nodded as he walked over to the group.

When he came over, the two linked arms and Lucina said, "Dear, I don't think I've properly introduced us to Dad."

"Oh, you mean your double?" Pittoo scoffed.

"Buuuuuurn!" laughed Mario, who a little while ago finally noticed his girlfriend Peach and the two were now sitting on one of the display's whispering nothings to each other.

Marth glared at him, but that didn't really concern him. "Hey, I just noticed something." he wondered out loud to Lucina, trying his best not to make eye contact with the Pittoo. "You and Dark Pit call each other 'dear' a lot. Why is that?"

Dark Pit and Lucina took this comment, shared a fake smile, then Lucina answered. "Well, Dad, that's because me and Dark Pit here... Are dating."

The hero king thought that over, and actually took it pretty well. "Oh, obviously." he replied, not noticing Mario and Peach laughing at his dim-ness in the background. "It's just, why 'dear'? I thought you kids would be more into... I don't know... 'Babe' or 'Chick' or something a little more this time. That's all."

Lucina caught his dim-ness as well. "Dad," she repeated patently. "were dating."

Marth was still enjoying ignorance. "Yes, Lucy, and I'm actually okay with that."

"_Dating._"

"I hear you the first two times, sweetie."

"...We just celebrated our six-month anniversary by going to Hawaii for a week."

"Wow! Good for you two!"

"_Dating_."

"You seem to have a real fondness for this word."

Believe it or not, it actually took Pittoo this long to get annoyed. "Let me try." he told his girlfriend, then turned to Marth. "What 'Lucy' here is trying to explain is, I have a real fondness for your little girl, Pops."

Marth was taken back by these choice of words, but only a little. "I get the feeling that I'm not reading well enough into this?..."

Suddenly, the Happy Mask Salesman came storming out of the backroom, grabbed Marth by the shoulders and shook him around as HMS screamed into the fighter's face. "_They're obviously going steady! For obviously a long time now! For goodness sake, you fool! **They went to Hawaii together.** _Put all of these OBVIOUSLY OBVIOUS clues together!"

Then, with a huff, HMS dropped Marth and stormed back into the back room.

"Dad!" Lucina came rushing up to help him up. "Are you all right?"

As he came to his feet, Marth stared into space for half a second, giving him enough time to come up with this: "_**YOU'RE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH A GREEN DAY DROP OUT?**_"

"Oh, good. He's fine." Dark Pit joked as he helped Lucina lead Marth to a place to sit down.

* * *

**Oh, my gosh, Marth. Relax. Let Chrom take care of beating Pittoo up for this. Sheesh.**

**Oh, yay! Happy day! Another chapter for November! Hooray! I am getting back on track! Joy!**

**So, I just made a OFFICAL DeviantART 1231heyo . I post my own art work, but I also have a blog! It's called Emoticons Blog, but if you just look up my username it'll pop up, too. Yeah, is any of you are interested in me tackling topics like Steven Universe and Llamas, or just want to know how I like to rant, OR you're just bored, please check it out. It's super funny. And wacky. Very the latter.**

**Thanks ever again for reading! Leave a review if you want, my beautiful people! :D **


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight: Get On With It

"Hold up," Ryu interrupted the upcoming spat-match. "I'm confused."

Marth's eye shot to Ryu's direction. "Well, of course you are! So am I!" he declared. "Why my Lucina -my darling Lucy- have anything to do with this flying hooligan is beyond me!"

"Dad!" yelped Lucina in embarrassment. She let go of his arm to further how upset she was, but she quickly regretted it. Because she let go, Dark Pit yanked his hands off too, and because Marth was still somewhat disorientated from all the shaking and sudden shock, he just fell back to the ground, landing on his rump. That was completely not what she wanted or expected. She shoot a glare at Pittoo, in hopes of having him take the blame, but he quickly put his hand in the air like he was innocent for once in his life and declared, "Hey! This ain't my fault! He's _your_ greatest grandfather!"

"There! There! That's why I don't understand why your with him!" Marth exclaimed from the ground and pointed at the anti-hero. "That, and his attitude is more sour than a spoiled lemon. And that he has a weirder fashion sense than you, Lucy. And-"

"Okay! I get!" Lucina and Dark Pit screamed at The Hero King with no mercy at the same time.

"...And I'm still confused." added Ryu.

"Oh, what are you blabbering about?" asked Link as he walked up carrying a gift bag and a receipt. He apparently just got checked out by Mario, who was telling jokes to Peach at the same time. "How can any of this be confusing?"

Ryu looked right pass all these words and looked at me. He gave a crooked look and- Wait. _**RYU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?**_

"Well, I guess these last two chapter taught me something, Ants." he answered in a surprisingly casual matter. Meanwhile I'm sitting here, typing away, starting to freak out because _**how dare you call me by name! What will my mom think?**_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." said Young Link, who was sitting next to Little Mac, enjoy popcorn and the show. "Your real name is _Ants_?"

"...And I though my was bad..." Little Mac agreed.

Oh, hush. It's just a nickname.

"So it's okay for me to call you by that," Ryu didn't ask, he said.

***Gets up, paces back and forth a little bit to think it over, then comes to agreement and then sits down to write some more.*** Yeeeeaaaah, I guess so. Fine. I'll let THAT slide. But, Ryu! You hate absurd-ness! That, and don't you remember the agreement I made with Master Hand?

"Yes." he answered. "You agreed to not make four-wall jokes anymore. But, I also recall two other things: A) You agreed that I would go nuts like everyone else. Looks like I have succeeded."

"Oh, yeah! I remember that!" exclaimed Peach.

Hmm... Fair enough. Now, what is B?

"B) You agreed with MASTER HAND. But he isn't here now, so..."

...It's okay?

Ryu nodded his head, satisfied with my reasoning. "Now," he continued, stepping forward. "During all the arguing in the past chapter, I began to think-"

"Hey," Marth called out. "Before we go down another path in this story, do you mind if we instead, um, don't? I sort of like being the main focus for onc-"

MARTH! WHO'S CALLING THE SHOTS HERE? NOT YOU, THAT'S FOR SURE. IT'S MEEEEE! THE WRITER. REMENBER? Just be glad I've even mention you recently, okay? I mean, look at Mewtwo! He can talk, yet I still have haven't gave him a chapter! In fact, I've probably only mentioned him a handful of times in the pass 20+ chapters. Yow. Actually, when I put it that way, I sound pretty harsh. Gee, I should of thought this out better. Maybe should of made a outline before I began typing crazy Smashing stuff? Oh, well. What's done is done.

...Wait. What was I talking about again?

"I was about to point out something." Ryu answered me, somewhat off edge.

Oh, yeah. Right. Please, tell what that is before I go off track again. Damn, that DOES happen a lot in this fan-fic!

"Can we get on with this?" Peach walked up and asked, with Mario practically at her heel. "I've already miss enough The Muppets already. Like, five episodes!"

"Oh, dear. Poor princess." scoffed Dark Pit.

Ryu held up his hand to stop Pittoo from making another lame remark. "Listen." he told them as he began his speech. "During these pass over two thousand words, I've learn that you all don't have brain damage. I mean, as far as I know you don't. You all seem to think. Which came to surprise me. But after watching all of you ping pong off each other, I've came to the conclusion that you all make decisions, but then you somewhat choose to have fun with it. I mean, look at our writer! She has build a fan fiction about love, tragedy, family, and yet this is still OBVIOUSLY a comedy. And she is enjoying learning from this and becoming a better writer and perso-"

OH MY GOSH GUYS DID YOU SEE THE FINAL SSB VIDEO PRESENTATION? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS BAYONETTA IS OFFICALLY COMING TO SMASH! OH YES OH YES OH YES! I CALLED IT! YOU READ IT HERE, FOLKS! I HAD HER PRATICALLY MOVE INTO SNAKE'S ROOM **CHAPTERS **AGO! **MONTHS BEFORE THIS!** I THINK HER COMING IN IS IN A WAY MY FAULT! YAAAAAAAAS! I CALLED IT!

All of them stared right at me with the strangest looks. Even HMS came out and looked at me.

WHY AREN'T YOU ALL FREAKING OUT? I WAS RIGHT! YOUR WRITER WAS AND IS RIIIIIIIGHT! MAN, I CAN'T WAIT FOR WRITING ABOUT HOW HAPPY SNAKE IS. YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS THANK YOU SMASH BALLOT. SURE, I STILL WISH CRASH BANDICOOT MADE IT INSTEAD, BUT THIS WORKS. CHEER FOR ME, YOUNGLINGS.

"Okay. That's it."

Everyone had to pride their eyes away from my direction. But once they did, it was worth it. They got to witness The Happy Sales Man take a stand.

"Oh, this is going to be gooooooood," Dark Pit pumped his fist in the air, ready for a villain to make a speech.

Gee, I better describe this:

The Happy Sales Man looked ceiling-wards, staring up towards where I should be. His face twisted from his Scary Grin to his Scary Frown. He then stood up strait and took a deep breathe. But the backpack he was wearing was so heavy with spooky masks that he toppled back first onto the ground. Everyone laughed as they watched him turtle about, completely unable to get up on his own. But, of course no one was going to help him.

"Pfffffffft!" laughed Link as he leaned against a wall, holding his purchases. "That was definitely worth the build up."

"Ha ha ha! Agreed!" Dark Pit cried as he laughed and pointed his video camera at HSM, not disappointed at all that the creep didn't even get to start his speech.

Yeah, well, I thought it would be funny to have HSM do a speech, but then I figured that I should have Ryu finish his speech first. So I just decided to have HSM make a fool of himself to cut that off. AND IT WORKED! YAY!

And now I'm ending here. I'll continue later.

"WHAT." said Dark Pit.

"Not again!" screamed Mario.

TOUGH BEANS, EVERYONE. DEAL WITH IT.

* * *

**Ugggggggggggggh. I'm so done with this fan-fic.**

**I'm sorry, everyone. I just have to end there. I promise I WILL finish this story! I will! But it might take awhile.**

**[That's it. It's official. I'm going to aim for writing my own show instead of making long stories like this when I grow up.]**

**I'll be back! Just don't wait up for me.**


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine: Ants' Home

I'm tired.

I'm hungry.

I'm disappointed in myself.

But most importantly, I'm hungry.

I close my New 3DS XL (who was the bone brain at Nintendo who decided to give their newest portable a name with "The New" in it?) and throw it onto my bed. It slides over to my newest Calvin and Hobbes and knocks the book and itself off the bed. I slouch, then shrug, then just forget about it and leave my overly-pink bedroom.

As I head to the kitchen, I think about starting an Undertale fanfic. Then I remember my SSB story is still not finish and I sink into disappointment again. I remember I left it on kind of a cliff-hanger. And that was about four months ago. I slouch some more, but when I'm in front of the fridge I straiten up. I open it and stick my head in.

"You should try the pickles." I hear someone familiar tell me.

"Nah. I finished those a while back." I answer as I reach for the cheese in the way back.

"Wow. You DO finish things."

The cheese slips from my hands and falls to the ground. Ugh, my mom hates it when I do that. I'm about to grab it, but then I come to the realization of why I recognize that voice.

That voice is from my head.

I turn around and face something I've been avoiding for over a hundred days.

"Hey, Master Hand." I wave to the overly-confident glove who floated before me. I reach down to the cheese and pick it up. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" I ask as the threw the block of Swiss into the fridge and slam the door shut.

Master Hand becomes shock and disappointed at the same time. "W-why," he says. "aren't you freaking out?"

I shrug as I pick out a apple from the fruit pile on the counter next to the toaster. "Eh. Screw reality. This is a fanfiction of my own imagination. I'm gonna do whatever I want. Like not be surprised by a hand that's too big to get through the front door being in the kitchen. Or acting like I don't know why you're here. Which reminds me," I take a bite out of the golden delicious I grabbed. "why are you here in my realm?"

"Oh." Master Hand regains his confidents and points an accusing finger at me. "Because you've once again left us to be ruins! and the only way to stop our demise is to get you off your butt and back to working on Smashiness!"

I make a face and start walking back to my room. "Yeah, sorry about that." I'm able to mutter as I chew through my snack. "I'm kinda-"

Master Hand stops me in my tracks. "**I DON'T WANT TO HERE ANY OF YOUR DAMN EXCUSES THIS TIME, ANTS.**" he screams at me.

I cough on my food. Alrighty, Hand Master, I guess I'll humor you. But there is just one thing bothering me. "Hey," I say, still somewhat uninterested. "I thought a couple chapters back you made me promise not to break the forth wall anymore."

"Yeah?" he asks, obviously not getting where I'm going with this.

"So," I swallow, then point a accusing finger of my own at him. "Why are you suddenly fine with all of this? The being in my house? The you acknowledging the hiatus? Why are you breaking your own deal you made me agree to?"

Master Hand sighs, as if he can't believe he has to justify himself. "Because things at the mansion have gotten even worse than before."

"Wow." I raise an eyebrow. "I didn't think that could still be possible."

My dad then walks into the kitchen. He ducks under Master Hand and heads to the exit.

"Uh, hey, Dad." I say with a wave.

"Bye, sweetheart." he replies as he goes into the laundry room and out of the house. The door slams shut behind him. I go over to it and turn the lock.

I turn around and Master Hands is a few inches away from my face; invading my personal space. I try to ignore that fact as I toss my apple core towards the open garbage. Nothing but net. I smile, then turn back to the hand. "Well?" I ask with hands on my waist. "How bad has it really been?"

Master Hand was expecting me to give a little explanation to why my dad didn't even acknowledge something flying in his kitchen. So Hand was somewhat taken back when I didn't give a damn about that. "Oh, um..." he tried to answer. "Well, the library was thorn apart to make the pub bigger, for starters. Somehow Toon Link got a waterslide installed into his room and that just messed up Pikachu's bedroom, which was underneath the little warriors'. Oh, and don't forget we now got nine Smashers stuck in Link Land. Oh, and Bayonetta pretty much took over the living room to practice fighting with Snake and... other things with Snake. There was also a fire in the back yard, but Luigi put that out with-"

"Hold on." I interrupt. "Toon Link got himself a water slide? WITHOUT ME THERE?"

Master Hand deflated by my immaturity. But then again, he actually couldn't expect less from me. "Yes, he did." he sighed an answer.

I became enraged. How dare they! How DARE they go on with there lives without me there to describe it to the public! I take a much-needed break for just a few months so I can figure some stuff out and improve as a artist and THIS is how they repay me?! Absurd! I cannot take this sitting down.

So I took this storming about.

I grabbed Master Hand by the glove ("Hold on! Your hands are covered with apple slime! I just got this washed! And it's my only glove!") and stormed to my room. I passed my little sister on the way to my room.

"Sissy!" she declared as I went pass with a giant glove in tow. "Is that-"

"I found this dusty thing in the basement." I lied as I stormed into my bedroom. "Now leave me alone." I called out as I slammed my door shut.

I let go of Master Hand and picked up my New 3DS from the floor. I pulled my Gardening Mama DSi game card out, then saved my Animal Crossing game and went onto the main menu. I then reached over to my desk and pulled a blank game card that was sliver-y out of my pencil case and stuffed it into my game. The whole portable glowed for a second before the main menu switched over to a typing screen. I smiled in satisfaction and went over to my closet to find a backpack.

Meanwhile Master Hard could not get over the sight of my room. "This... Ants, this is a lot of pink." he said with a chuckle.

"My folks painted this place when I was around eight." I grumbled an answer as I found my tropical flowers backpack with a smiley pin on the front of it, hiding the huge Walmart brand branded on it my mom made me cover. "And when I was eight, I loved pink. So."

"Weeell, I didn't see you as the pink-loving type."

"Weeell, I was. So get over it."

"Hey, what's- Ha ha ha! What's with the Full House poster?" Master Hand almost fell over laughing at the sight of it.

I rolled my eyes at him and I stuffed clothes and books into the backpack. "That's one of my favorite TV shows, you twit. I actually found that in one of my little sister's kid's magazines and begged her to let me have it."

"Ha ha ha! And the Girl Meets World one?"

"Oh, that was from one of my own."

"WHY?" Master Hand was now on the floor giggling. "Just, WHY?"

"Because I can!" I shot out an obvious answer as I stuffed one more Calvin and Hobbes book into my bag.

"Aren't you old enough to drive?"

"Yup,"

"Oh, that's so rich. Ha ha ha ha-"

I decided to ignore the rest of his crap as I put on the backpack and my purse. I then reach over to my bed and grabbed a decorative pillow that was bigger than my head and had a cute little face on it. "Okay," I turned to the laughing glove on the ground. "I'm ready to go."

"Ha ha. Oh, man." Master Hand got up and noticed my luggage. "Hey, what's with the bean bag?" he pointed to the pillow.

"His name is Poofy. I bought him on Amazon early this month."

Master Hand looked at Poofy, then my face, then back to me. "Remind me to never try to understand you." was all he could muster.

I suddenly got defensive. "He's from my favorite anime, WataMote. He's not named Poofy in the show, but I figured-"

"Okay. Enough. I can't even laugh at you anymore."

I scrunched my face, but decided to drop the defensive feeling. Instead I opened back up my New 3DS and began typing up something.

"Hey." Master Hand tried to look at my screen, but I wouldn't let him. "What are you doing? Is it something about Fuller House being your livelihood and-"

**_POOF! _**I didn't even let him finished. We were already off.

* * *

**Hey guys. Did you miss me? Because I sure did miss you.**

**Alright, I know I've been lazy for the pass few months. Sorry about that. But don't worry, ****I'm finally back! And this time, I going to write whatever I feel like. That way I won't fall into another hiatus slump.**

**Shout out to **PunkRockPrincess**! I was going through my emails and I ran into a notification for your review and it reminded me to start writing again! Thanks for telling me to update, sweetie! As a reward, I'm going to have Jack Sparrow re-appear just for you. Savvy?**

**THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! P.S. That was kind of what me and my life is like, but exaggerated by 5 for comedic affect. **


	31. Chapter Thirty: Get That Jerk!

_POOF! _Me and Master Hand arrived to our destination.

**Happy Mask Salesman's Shop.**

"You teleported us to a dump?" asked a disorientated Master Hand as he got himself off the ground.

"No." I sneered at him while adjusting my purse. "I just figured we should finally get the Smashers I sent to Termina out of there before we go to the Mansion. Ya know, tie up loose ends for a change." I shrugged, knowing it was too late to justify why I left them here at the shop for half a year.

"'Finally' is the perfect word for that." Master Hand interjects as he began to float about, judging the place. "So who's dump are we at? Tingles?"

I groaned. "We're at HMS's store."

"Howdy Master Splinter Store?"

"No! Gosh! How can you be as stupid as you look?" I snapped to the glove. I then smacked him with the back of my hand. "HMS stands for Happy Mask Salesman. Gosh." I rolled my eyes, even though I was aware it was perfectly normal not to know who that was. I was still all fired up by the water slide thing, so it felt good to have something and one to be upset at.

Master hand could sense this, so he tried not make a big deal about it. "Oh, yeah. I would of guessed that eventually." He replied. "I just didn't think HMS's shop would resemble a empty dump."

I raised a eyebrow and looked around. I immediately understood what he meant.

The place was cleaned out in the messiest way possible, if that makes any sense. All the merchandise that use to take up the walls and creep everyone out was gone. Signs and curtains were gone. Not only was the cash register gone, but the whole check out area was vacant. What replaced everything was trash. Plastic mask covers, old boxes, pieces of crumbled up paper; trash of all kinds cluttered the place and gathered dust. There was even a corner in the back that was all blacked out, like someone started a fire there but then thought better of it and put it out.

In short, the place actually looked worst than my room.

I was in awe of the clutteriness. "What happened here?" I thought out loud as I walked around.

Master Hand made a gesture that suggested he was mentally rolling his eyes. "Gee, how would you know?" he asked in disinterest. "Besides the fact YOU'RE WRITING THIS."

"Now, now." I lift my hand to signal him to stop. "Let's not make this anymore confusing than this already is. And furthermore, I got to give the audience something to read. The least I can do is make this interesting by pleading ignorance." I shake my head like I'm talking to a child. "Sheesh, Master Hand, after thirty chapters I thought you would've got with it by now."

He was about to make a comment about that too, but stopped himself. Instead, he came up with another snarky remark: "Well, I'm surprised you're not making a some big deal right now, considering this is the thirtieth chapter."

"...Not counting the April Fools Day chapter." I told him as I picked through junk boxes.

"...Not counting the April Fools Day chapter, of course." said Master Hand. "Still, knowing you..."

"Yeah, you got a point." I agreed as I dug through a pile of garbage. "How about, for the occasion, I have HMS reappear one more time?"

I motion to the pile I was going through, revealing the Happy Mask Salesman (who was not looking very happy at the moment) sitting in it, trying to keep warm under a bunch of old newspapers. HMS yelped when he saw me, then ran to another pile of trash across the room. "Oh, I've missed you, too." I called out to him.

"Oh, heck no!" yelled Master Hand as he ducked behind a beat-up display case. "I mean, yeah, I guess that's good enough of a event. But, no! No, don't make us suffer! Keep than monstrosity of a man away from me! I don't want to become a fire pit!"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm way a head of you." I yell back at Master Hand as I whip out my New 3DS from my backpack and walk towards where HMS ran off to.

I pull out my stylus (Can I just say that the stylus for this version of the 3DS is fantastic. It NEVER falls out and I love it.) and open the portable. I'm greeted with the glow of the typing screen that practically beckoned me to abuse it's power. I limit myself typing in one thing this time: The first weapon that came to mind. The 3DS glowed like a star and rattled. The light floated away from the game and formed the shape of a poll. Suddenly, the light went dim and out of it dropped a important looking scepter. I snatched it from the ground and held it over my shoulder.

Master Hand looked over the display case and gasped. "Is that-"

"It is!" I exclaimed as I used the weapon to shoot a flash of destruction towards the pile of garbage HMS fled to. The crazy in question yelped and jumped out of the way just in time. The trash was destroyed and HMS was shocked by it. He began running towards the back room.

"That usually works..." I looked the scepter over, then shrug. "Oh, well. A good chase-fight is always fun."

I shoot another shot at him and missed just by a inch. HMS jumped back, ran the opposite direction and ducks behind the same display case Master Hand was hiding behind. Master Hand screamed like a pregnant women at the sight of the salesman. HMS then got upright and tried to cause the glove to light of fire, but before he could Master Hand got over his shock. He picked HMS up and threw him across the room. HMS landed in against a wall, cornered. I smiled at the trapped fool and headed towards him.

"Nice throw." I called out to the glove as I walked.

"Thanks!" Master Hand said back. "I played baseball back in junior high. Was the star pitcher."

"Never would've guessed," I joked as I aimed towards Happy Mask Salesman.

Being corners, all HMS could do was curl up in a ball and cover him eyes as he braced himself for my fury. I walked slowly towards him, enjoying my power march. HMS could tell I did. He shut his eyes tighter and whispered his thoughts out loud: "Why? Why me? -Besides the obvious reason. And why this way? by the hands of the same person who forced me into this situation? Please, just let it be quick. Don't make me suffer even more than I already have. Why me? I know I've just been waiting for the pain to end, but why this way? Why?..." He began to whimper in silence.

"Um... Ants? Can you quit telling the audience about that creep's inner pain? It's really bring me down." Master Hand asked as he got out from behind the display case.

"Relax." I answer back as I lowered my weapon. "I'm just doing it so I can give him a redemption arc in the next chapter."

"WHAT?" Master Hand blew up. "Why would you give THAT JERK a redemption?"

"Because I can. Now zip it; I'm closing the chapter."

* * *

**The first person to guess who was the original owner of the weapon I spawned out of my 3DS will get a shout-out in the next chapter and I'll review two of their stories! Here's your hint: The douche was in Chapter Eighteen. Good luck!**

**Once again, thank you for reading! Any and all reviews, favorites, and follows will be greatly appreciated! **


	32. Chapter Thirty-One: So, Yeah, Um, Well

"IT'S LOKI SCEPTER! COME ON, PEOPLE!" I yell into oblivion with disappointment.

"Nobody even bothered to guess about the weapon, hu?" Master Hand asked as he slowly went back behind the display case for cover of what I might do next.

"Not a single soul! Ugh." I slouch over, like standing was hard work. "I sometimes wonder why I even bother..."

"Hmmmm... You should ask one of the friends you finally obtained about that."

"OH, SHUT UP." I scream back to him.

"Oh, great. Now they're arguing. Oh, why must I wait for everything? As if my life wasn't unfair enough." HMS whispered his thoughts again as he rocked back and forth.

I look over at the salesman. "Oh! Right! Redemption arc! Right!"

Kneeling down to his level, I studied the sad little man. He was missing his backpack, so that explained why he was able to run so well earlier. He was also somehow skinnier than before, which I didn't really think was possible. And his clothes were all scuffed up and ripped, yet he didn't seem to mind that, as if the clothes on his back were the only things he owned now...

Oh.

My eyes went big as my mind raced with newfound thoughts. I stood up and took a step back, giving HMS some space. But, naturally, doing so I tripped over my Poofy and fell onto my rear. I accidently drop the scepter while falling and before it hit the ground it popped and disappeared, so I guess that's just how my 3DS-science-powers works. But at that point I didn't care about that. My mind was racing to fast for me to.

Master Hand flew over to tried to help me up, but I wouldn't cooperate. I just sat there, thinking. "Ants, Come on. This isn't funny anymore." he grumbled as he tried to pull me up by my arm. He was able to scoot me forward two inches, but that wasn't what he wanted. "Uuuuuuuuugh." he mourned towards the ceiling. He looked over to HMS, who was still in a sad little ball. "Excuse me, Salesman." Master Hand said as he let go of my arm. "But what did you do this time here?"

HMS looked up in shock. The one time a bad thing wasn't his fault, and he was getting the blame! He squeezed his legs and continued rocking as he tried to mumble a answer. "Oh!... Oh, um, yeah, well, okay, uh, gee, so, ugh, right, huh-"

If Master Hand had eyes right now, he would be rolling them so hard he'd need laser eye surgery to have them work again.

Knowing that the two wouldn't be able to figure this out by themselves, I finally stood up. "HMS had nothing to do with this." I said, still trying to straiten my thought out.

Master Hand turned over to me, somewhat confused. "Uh, with you loosing it for a minute there, this place being a complete mess, or the smashers we came here to find not being here?" he asked.

"Yes!" I declared as I walking over to HMS to help him up.

"Oh. Okay. I have no idea how you suddenly came to that conclusion, but okay."

HMS was so surprised and, well, _happy _that someone was finally helping him that he forgot to doing or even think anything awful or sabotage-y like he always does. He just broke out in his signature creep smile as I took him by the arm and helped him to his feet.

"You didn't kick the Smashers out of your shop, did you?" I asked him as I dusted him off.

That question made his smile fad a little. He shook his head. "No, of course not." he answered. "They all left by themselves; after, uh, they robbed me broke."

Master Hand shot up at the sound of this. "What?!" the glove exclaimed as he finally floated over.

"Yeah. It all makes sense to me now." I said as I lead HMS to a place to sit. "Ryu, Marth, Lucina, Dark Pit, Mario, Peach, Young Link, Little Mac, Link; I left all nine of them here, at this shop, for _over six months_. It would of been surprising if they didn't go crazy."

"Uh, well, yeah." HMS interjected. "About five of them just suddenly appeared he at my shop less than a year ago. The whole group, except for Link, was pretty much, um, flat broke."

"Yeah! Right!" I exclaimed. "So that's why they were working for you when Young Link and the others came!"

"Right, ugh, yeah, that's it. And when, well, you went haikus again, I tried to have the new ones earn their keep, too."

"And they refused." I guessed.

"Oh, no. Actually, they almost went with it." the salesman stood up. "They even put on the uniforms and everything. But, right before the beginning of their first day, the crazy blue one who was dating a winged man snapped."

"Uh, what?" I said with a raised eyebrow. "Lucina?"

"Yeah, ugh, well, yeah her. She tore her new apron off and screamed at me. Stuff about being horrible and a waste of a man, nothing I've never heard before. But then the winged man joined her, then the other blue princess. Suddenly all of them were screaming at me and beating me up."

"Whoa! Really!" Master Hand exclaimed as he made a fist. "Man, what I would of gave to see that."

"Oh, hush." I call him out as I walked over and smacked him again.

"So, naturally I tried to fight back, with fire and such. But, um, of course there was nine of them and one of me, so the fight was not in my, well, favor. The pink one actually knocked me out."

"_Peach?_" asked Master Hand.

"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed as I raised both of my fist in the air. "Atta Peachy! I couldn't be prouder!"

HMS shot a look at me. I notice this and calmed my excitement. "Sorry," I shrugged with a soft smile across my face. "Girl power came over me."

Master Hand mentally rolled his eyes again. HMS just slouched over a little. "Anyway," HMS continued. "When I, uh, came to, they were gone and my shop was like this," he motioned around him. "ruined."

I stared at my feet. I was disappointed in myself again. Sure, HMS is quite the horrible creature, but ruining everything about him was a tad much, even to me. I shouldn't had slacked off, I should of had taken care of all of them long ago. Now, a horrible man was worst off than before, and nine beloved Smashers were running amok.

"I really blew it this time," I mutter to myself as I rested my head in my hands.

Master Hand heard this. "Yeah, you kind of did." he replied as he floated over. "But, you know you can always can fix all of this by just going back and rewriting a few of the chap-"

"_What? ARE YOU NUTS?_ That would require even MORE work!" I exploded at him. "Heck no! You're all lucky I'm writing at all! Don't make me redo my master pieces!"

Not intimated, Master Hand somehow slouched a little. "For about the first eight chapters you called Bowser 'Browser' all-"

"Well, I fixed that! Minor flaws I'll fix, but not full out plot points!" I declared, lifting my fist in the air. "No way! Only way I'm going is up! and forward! So deal with it!"

I pull out my New 3DS and began typing a storm. "Don't worry, HMS." I said over the _click click click _of my stylus. "After I drop off my stuff and this glove at Smash mansion and save the terrible nine from their selves, I'll come back and help you fix this place up a bit, okay?"

The salesman in question broke out an even bigger smile. "You, uh, really mean that?" he stuttered once more.

"Yeah! Of course!" I declare, but then think better of it. "That is," I added, being quite stern. "only if you promise that when I help repair this dump, you won't use this place for evil."

HMS's smile quickly turned into a frown. He turned away from me. "Then don't come back." he replied, all serious and such. He then, with a huff, walked into the backroom and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

I just laughed. "I'll still coming back, anyway!" I called out to him, not caring if he heard me or not.

I picked up Poofy from the ground and dusted him off a bit. "You've had quite the day already, haven't you?" I whispered to the little pillow face. I held him under my arm as I turned to Master Hand and waved the New 3DS back and forth. "You ready to go home?" I asked Hand.

"What?" he exclaimed in confusion. "But we still need to find those other nine-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm going to take care of that. Duh." I replied as I clicked around with my portable game. "I'm just going to drop you off. I don't need you questioning ever other thing in existence."

_POOF!_

* * *

**I can't wait to get back to that dump of a mansion.**

**I started a poll on my profile if anyone cares to weigh in.**

**Once again, thank you all for reading! Please leave a review. Did you know that 1 out of every 10 Happy Mask Salesmans recommend reviewing Super Smash Bros. fanfiction in order to keep them from creeping people out? Yeah, I don't know either. But I still would appreciate any and all favorites, subscribes, and reviews!**


	33. Chapter Thirty-Two: Off to Brunch

Before me and Master Hand suddenly fall onto a bunch of Smashers, I'm going to write you something I've been wanting to write for about a month:

A checking up with Snake.

Back at the Smash Mansion, Snake was awoken by loud thumping. _Thump thump clunk thump. _At first he thought it was coming from Lucina's room again, but then he realized the noise was underneath him, not next to him. Snake reached down to the floor and knocked the ground three times, hoping the people underneath him would take a hint. But the noise just continued, not noticing the knocking. Snake then just remembered Toon Link's bedroom was underneath his. He groaned as he covered his head with his pillow, figuring Toon Link was remodeling his waterslide again.

The noises was bound to continue until at least noon, so it was hopeless to try to fall back to sleep. Snake took the pillow off his face and tossed it onto the floor, landing right next to one of Bayonetta's multiple pairs of shoes.

Snake dragged himself out of bed, careful not to step on one of the random articles of clothing on the floor. He reached over to one of the bed post and grabbed his pants that were hanging off of it. He got up and hopped about, trying to put them on. But naturally, by doing that he stepped on something and fell over.

He caught himself right before he landed on his face. He then picked himself up like nothing happened, finished getting dressed, and left the room. He was careful closing the door; somehow Bayonetta was still asleep and he didn't want to wake her up. But by the looks of it, a atomic bomb could not disturb her slumber.

Once out of the room, he headed to the elevator. Yes, Smash Mansion has an elevator. But don't forget, this is an _Smash Mansion _elevator. So it's _special_.

"Good morning, Snake!" exclaimed Pit, who was right next to the elevator, helping Olimar and Yoshi hold onto some kind of rope that was connected to something at the bottom of the elevator shaft.

"Morning, everyone." Snake waved.

"Yoshi! Yoshi!" replied Yoshi.

Olimar just smiled and gave a little nod.

"So," said Snake, staring at his watch. "You think I might actually have a chance at using the elevator soon?"

"Oh, yes! Absolutely!" Pit told him with confidence. "We just have to haul this load up, and it's yours."

Snake nod, but didn't really believe the little guy. Pit said that the last time he was on elevator duty and it took twenty minutes for the elevator to finally be available. Sure, it was Bowser who caused the wait, but still. Twenty minutes is like two years in pikmin time, how could let anyone wait that long?

_Ding! Ding!_

"Yoshi! Yoshi Yoshi!" the little dinosaur exclaimed, pointing down the elevator shaft.

"I heard it, Yoshi. Don't worry." Pit said. "Now **_pull!_**"

The angel, midget in a space suit, and little dinosaur held onto the rope with dear life and began slowly pulling the elevator up. Snake chuckled to himself at the sight of this joke setup, but then realized 'a man named Snake' would make a great setup for a joke too, and stopped laughing.

Inch by inch, the three little guys pulled that rope with all their might. Finally, the elevator reach the floor they were on. Grateful of their success, yet completely beat from all the pulling, Olimar let go of the rope and collapsed to the floor.

"Olly! Nooo!" exclaimed Pit as he gasped at the spaceman. The rope began slipping out of what's left of the elevator duty's hands and the elevator started going back down the shaft in record speed. "Arrrgh!" screamed Pit as he and Yoshi tried to stop the rope from slipping through their hands, but all that did was give them a bunch of splinters and cause the rope to give off some smoke.

Snake sighed. Once again, he had to save the day. He reached over and grabbed the end of the rope. "Hold on!" he mumbled as he yanked on the rope.

Now a man named Snake, a angel, and a little dinosaur were pulling the elevator up while a midget in a space suit was resting on the floor. -And on Olimar's defense, pulling that elevator was the most exercise he's done so far this year.

Finally, the elevator was back. Snake tied the rope up to the elevator anchor before another disaster could unravel. The doors of it opened to reveal Ike and Zelda dressed in Hawaiian entire, holding hands, and looking the happiest they've ever have.

Snake wiped the sweat off his forehead before saying, "Hey, the newlyweds are back."

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi!" declared Yoshi as he ran up to the couple and gave them a huge hug.

"Aww! Hi Yoshi!" Zelda said as she and Ike hugged the little dino back. "I can't believe you missed us!"

"Of course he did!" Ike told her as Yoshi let go and ran back behind Pit. "We're a walking party!"

"That, and you two were gone for a whole damn month," Snake interjected. He then pulled a cigar out of his pocket and held it between his teeth. "That's a long time to go without old people jokes and outdated war trivia." He dug around in his pockets for something, but came out empty handed. "Hey, princess, can you lite his for me?" Snake asked Zelda, motioning to his cigar. "Fire is one of your powers, right?"

Zelda made a face that you wouldn't want royalty to make at you, while Ike pushed Snake aside. "Really? We haven't been back from our honeymoon for two seconds, and you're already picking on her?" he asked as they stepped off the elevator.

"Awww. You expected more from me. You are adorable." Snake scoffed as he got in the elevator. "So was that a yes or a no on the fire thing?"

"Here's your no!" Zelda exclaimed as she used her powers to slam the elevator right in the spy's face. Ike laughed as he and his wife walked away.

"Glad to have you guys back!" Pit called after them.

Snake rolled his eyes at the sound of Pit being a complete suck-up again. "Just take me to the second floor."

"Roger!" Pit did a salute for some reason. He turned to Olimar and tapped on the glass of his helmet. "Get up, Olly! Your shift isn't over yet!"

Once Olimar got his but off the floor, Pit untied the rope and the three little guys slowly let the elevator down with Snake inside, who was able to find a match on the floor and use it to lite his cigar.

* * *

**GAH! Almost forgot my editorial! Gah!**

**Well, thanks once again for reading! **


	34. Chapter Thirty-Three: Brunch is Hard

The elevator clanked and screeched as it went from the forth floor to the second floor, swinging a little bit, bumping into the walls every four seconds. Snake sighed at all the commotion, and did another puff of his cigar. He did enjoyed cigars before, but now he _really_ enjoyed them. For the longest time, he wasn't able to even lite a match here at the mansion. But ever since the whole "Teen Rating", almost anything goes now, and he's been making up for lost time by smoking like a chimney.

He finishes his first cigar of the day and drops it on the ground. The carpet earned another hole in it as Snake lit his second cigar, somehow using the same match from earlier. He made rings of smoke in the air as he finally reached the second floor.

The elevator came to a screeching halt and bumped a wall one more time, causing Snake to hit the ceiling with his head and shoulders. He mumbled a few choice words under his breath, but decided to just be grateful that he didn't drop his cigar. He took another long puff, then threw the elevator doors open and jumped out. He had to jump because the elevator was four inches above the landing. _Way to go, angel._ Snake thought as he stuck the landing.

Once back on stable ground, Snake began walking to the kitchen. Why the kitchen was on the second floor, he had no idea, but he was too hungry to question it at the moment. He just kept walking, hoping that Crazy hand remembered to go grocery shopping in the pass week, and that Villager didn't use all the food for target practice again. It'll be the fourth time this week if he did.

Then me and Master Hand appeared from thin air right above Snake and landed on him.

"Whoa." Master Hand mumbled, unable to get up from all the realm travel jet lag. "That was trippy, man, trippy."

"Heyooooo!" I exclaimed to Snake while trying not to crush Poofy as I landed on the spy's belly. "Guess who I am, Slitter!"

"Someone who's causing me extreme pain at the moment," he guessed as he used his right leg to push Master Hand off his left leg.

"No. Someone who causes you extreme pain _all_ _the time._" I patted Snake's head as I rolled off his body. "If you insist on pointing out my flaws, at least tell the whole story."

I get up on my feet and examine my surroundings. We were in the main hall of the second floor, right where Greeninja use to sell grass types, but then moved to the dark ally across the street in search of business outside of Pikachu and Cloud. There was four windows on the left side of the hallway, and three doors on the right; two were bedroom doors, and the one at the end was the kitchen's. The carpet was a off-gray from never being cleaned. The walls were a off-white because pfffffft, who cleans walls? And a random chandelier hanged in front of Robin's room, thanks to him insisting if he couldn't fit it in his room, it should be outside his room.

Damn, it was good to be back at this dump. Especially now.

I ran up to the chandelier and stood under it. It had seven of those pointy lightbulbs on it, pretending to be candles, if you can understand that. It was also made of fake gold, because Robin couldn't tell the difference from the real stuff. It shined way too brightly, making me wish I had sunglasses. Yet it was it's own definition of pretty, lighting the whole hall with it's tacky shine.

As Snake kicked Master Hand off and told the glove where he should go, I opened up my New 3DS and tried to think of something to type. I needed something nice and big and intriguing for this chandelier. I began typing, but quickly erased it, knowing it wouldn't be good enough.

After a little more thought, it came to me. I quickly typed in my idea. The portable glowed once again and light floated from it. Suddenly the light went out and dropped what I wanted.

A purple flame thrower.

"Wa ha ha!" I laughed like a manic as I aimed for the chandelier. Before Master Hand could call me crazy, I pulled the trigger and it let out a whoosh of fire. The lighting quickly lit on fire, it's flames yellow from the fake gold. It was epic!

**_"ARE YOU CRAZY?" _**was the first thing Master Hand could scream as he finally got off of Snake and rushed towards me. "What the heck do you think you're doing, Ants!?"

"Oh, don't mind me," I told the glove as I kept on burning it up. "I'm finally here at the mansion, so I can literally interfere. So don't be surprised if I spend my Saturdays like this for now on."

"You're ruining that chandelier!" Master Hand yelled as he broke out in a sweat.

I turned to him and rolled my eyes. "Wow. Gee, you are right. I didn't even think of that, Master Hand. Thank you for pointing that out to me." I said, with each and ever word oozing sarcasm. I then turned back to the chandelier, that was beginning to melt and drip to the floor.

Master Hand was about to have a heart attack. "Why? WHY? WHY, ANTS, WHY!" was all the glove could yell at me.

"Reasons." was my reply.

Snake picked himself off the floor and walked up behind me. He watched the fake gold melt for a little bit, then said, "So you're Ants?"

I turned to the spy. "Yup! That's me!" I answered while still burning the chandelier. "The one and only."

"The one and crazy!" Master Hand corrected me as he reached for the flame thrower. He got hold of it and tried to pull it away from me, but to no success.

"Now, now, Master Hand, I didn't see you as someone who would take without asking." I scowled the glove as I pushed him aside. "Where are your manners?"

Master Hand got up and did a glove version of scowling me. He became a fist and turned beet red. "MANNERS? _YOU'RE THE ONE BURNING SOMEONE ELSES PROPERTY!_"

"True. But this is _breaking the law. _You trying to take from me was _just plan rude._" I shook my head. "I worry about him sometimes," I said to Snake, motioning to the glove who was now turning as red as a stop light. "It's like he has no common sense."

After I said that, Master Hand broke down and had a panic attack.

Snake watched for a moment as I freaked. I dropped the flame thrower and rushed to Master Hand's side. The flame thrower poofed when it hit the ground, but the chandelier was already so roasted that is just kept on melting without it. I grabbed Master Hand and held him while repeating "Deep breaths. Keep breathing. Deep breaths." over and over, hoping to calm him down. The glove tried to listen to me, but was still hyperventilating.

Deciding he shouldn't get involved, Snake walked pass the two of us and went in the kitchen, where he found Captain Jack Sparrow and Rosalina minus her lumas raiding the fridge.

"Of course," was all Snake said at the sight of them.

Rosalina looked up from the vegetable rack. "Morning, Snake!" she waved as she picked up a armful of lemons. "Don't mind us; we're just getting more fruit for the bar." she reassured him while trying not to drop anything.

"And salt! You can't make a cocktail without salt, lad!" said Sparrow, smelling like old scotch while holding two salt shakers.

Snake mumbled a reply. He reached over Rosalina's head and grabbed the last carton of eggs. He then turned to the sink and tried to dig up an clean frying pan.

"Hey, Snakey! Haven't seen you at the bar in awhile!" Sparrow pointed to the spy with a accusing finger.

Snake rolled his eyes. "I was there just 24 hours ago," he said with a tone of annoyance while he went up to the stove and began cooking up the eggs.

"The way you were drinking, I'm surprised you remember anything at all," said Rosalina with a drunken giggle.

Snake shrugged. "I'm a walking a miracle." he answered.

"You got that right! Ha ha!" Sparrow laughed as he punched Snake in the fake arm.

The spy's frown turned into a strait-out scowl. He glanced at the two drunkards and watched as they bumped into each other and dropped everything they were caring. The two laughed like loonies at the sight of the mess, then turned to the fridge to find more stuff to steal for the pub. And of course they didn't bother to clean that hysterical mess they made. Like they would bother to feel any guilt about that.

Snake sighed at the immature of the loonies. Yes, sometimes he got as wasted as they were right now; in fact, usually he slushes down enough booze to maintain the bar for a week in one setting. But, the difference between him and these two was... Uh... Well...

"I hold onto my humanity." Snake said while scraping the now cooked eggs onto a plate and began making toast.

"Yes! Thank you!" I exclaimed through the doorway of the kitchen while holding fast to Master Hand.

Exactly. Snake got wasted a lot, but he knew how to keep his head. He knew the consequences of being drunk all the time -like never remembering anything, breaking random stuff for random reasons, making a utter fool of himself on a daily bases, ect.- and he did not want to be like that. In fact, he looked down at people who were like that. _Especially at 10 A.M._

Hence, Sparrow and Rosalina.

Oh, and have I forgotten to mention? Jack Sparrow was invited back by Crazy Hand to maintain the pub he opened up in the mansion a few chapters back. That, and before that he was sleeping in the garden and refusing to leave, so they all figured the best way to get him out of there was to give him a job.

Snake pulled a tray out of a pile of dishes and arranged the food he made on it. It was too late for breakfast, yet it was too early for lunch. So believe it or not, Snake has made the girliest meal in existence: _Brunch._ Scrambled eggs on toast, a bowl of porridge, a glass of orange juice; all of this neatly arranged on the tray. There was even a tiny vase with a single flower in it!

"Ha! What a wussy!" Sparrow laughed as Snake carried the tray out of the kitchen and slammed the door behind him.

I finally got Master Hand to calm down as I looked over to Snake, who was holding the tray while smiling a really embarrassed smile. I stood up, leaving the glove to rest on the floor, and looked over the cooking and arrangement. "Damn," I said, still admiring the food. "Snake, you just got three time more attractive."

The spy laughed at this comment. "I'm serious!" I exclaim, giving him a up and down look. "Now I don't know who's more lucky: Bayonetta to have you, or you to have Bayonetta."

Before Snake could give a saucy reply, the melting chandelier fell, taking a huge chunk of the ceiling with it. _CRASH!_ It landed on the floor in a flaming, gooey heap with chunks of ceiling everywhere. Master Hand gasped at this, but then gasped even louder when water came gushing out of the huge hole over the pile, making the mess even bigger. This is why I starting burning the chandelier in the first place; the room right above it was Toon Link's room! As water continued to splash everywhere, a huge section of that damn water slide came falling out as well, along with Toon Link in his incredibly outdated swimsuit.

"AH HA HA HA HA!" I exclaimed in victory as I pointed and laughed at Toon Link as he fell right next to the pile of wreckage. "That's what you get for doing cool stuff without me, shorty! WA HA HA HA HA! NYEHHEHEHE!"

Snake stepped around the mess and walked away. He didn't want to get involved with this either, so he just ignored my rapturous laughing and starting taking the stairs, also not wanting to get involved with the angel and the midget and the tiny dino again either. There's a lot he didn't want to get involved with here at Smash Mansion.

As taking three flights of stairs and tiptoeing pass the elevator area, Snake _**finally **_made it back to his room. Somehow also with the tray of brunch intact.

He slowly opened the door to find Bayonetta _still flipping asleep._ You could hear me laughing and Toon Link crying from two floors down quite clearly, and she was _still asleep._ That's got to be a record.

Snake laughed a little bit at this. He came up to the bed, leaned down to his girlfriend's face, and blew right on it.

THAT woke her up.

"Ugh. For f### sake, David." she mumbled as pulled up the covers. "I thought I told you to stop doing that s###."

"Hey, it's not my fault that's the only thing that will wake you up." Snake smiled as he reached down on the floor, picked up Bayonetta's glasses, and handed them to her.

"It is not."

"Is too."

"Is not"

"Is too!" he exclaimed right before kissing her to shut her up.

"Crap, you win again." she mumbled when she pulled away. "Hey, what's that smell."

"Brunch," Snake replied as he picked up the tray from the floor and placed it on her lap.

"What the f-" she stopped herself and took a bite of the eggs. They were actually good. "Since when have you even known what brunch is?"

"You started crashing in my room last February. It's amazing it actually took me this long, to be honest."

"Good point. Well, keep it up." she said as she chugged down the orange juice. "Because this actually ain't crap."

"You always know how to turn me on, Cereza." Snake joked.

Bayonetta laughed and almost choked on the juice. "Seriously, David, what the f###?"

* * *

**Still a better love story than Twilight.**

**Special shout outs to** PenumbraTheWolf, SolarEnergy07, **and** CarryOnMyWaywardSans **! You guys are awesome! And ****to **PunkRockPrincess; **thanks to her Jack Sparrow is on bar duty until further notice.**

**Thank you once again for reading! Please leave a review! And don't forget to follow! =D**


	35. Chapter Thirty-Four: Little Warrior

"I swear I'm not crazy." I randomly say, standing with a crying Toon Link on my right and a pile of ceiling on my left.

Master Hand turned to me. "Why... Why start a chapter like that?" he slowly asked.

I shrug. "I dunno. I guess it would be good to remind the audience,"

Being pretty much done with me, Master Hand began flying away. "Remind the audience or yourself?" he mutter under his breath as he opened a window and flew out. "I'm going to check on my flower garden before I beat my brother up for ruining it. Don't wait up."

"Don't over-work yourself!" I yell back before closing the window.

I turn to Toon Link and looked him over. He had finally stopped crying, but his face was still red from all the tears. Now he just sat there, on the incredibly dirty and ugly carpet, trying to think of his next move. Should he jump up and yell at me for ruining his room, like the Toon Link he was? or should he just lie down and wait for me to leave, like the Toon Link he's been lately?

Before he could choose, I scooped him up and gave him a huge hug. I know he's all wet and outdated-ly dressed, but I didn't care. I squeezed him nonetheless. "Hey, I'm glad you stopped the water works." I said with my face against his mess of blonde hair. "Sorry about ruining your water slide. And bedroom. And practically your reputation. Heh heh. I just figured this would be the most interesting way to wrap up the whole 'Toon Link's Horrid Water Slide' arc of the fanfic, if you can understand that. Anyway, I hope you're not to mad. I hate holding grudges. I'm terrible at them. That," I swung him around like he was my little child. "you're just too cute NOT to hug, you little warrior you!"

Toon Link was surprised by the turn of events. One moment I'm causing him to fall ten feet from his room to the floor under it, the next moment I'm hugging him like we're related or something. He couldn't quite comprehend my odd behavior, or even think that this was just how I rolled. But he could come to terms with one thing: He was horrible with grudges, too. So he hugged me back. "Don't worry, I forgive you." he said to me.

"Whoa." I exclaimed as I stopped spinning and looked at the kid, surprised for a second, but only one second. "Oh, right. You can talk in my fanfiction. Almost forgot." I said as I patted his head. "Heh heh, oh right, I've made all the Links talk here. How could I forget?" I let him go and he was back on his own two feet. He took off his hat and shook his hair out, making water go everywhere and me even more wet than I already was. "It's okay." he told me, putted his hat back on. "Lots of people forget I can speak. Which is amazing, because I'm rarely not annoying. At least, that's what Falco told me after me and Lemmy painted his arwing neon green."

I smiled at the thought of Falco squawking his lungs out over a unwanted paint job. "It's like you go out of your way to make sure I'm gone when you interesting stuff." I said, crossing my arms.

"I do not!" Toon Link exclaimed, getting all defensive. "Painting that airwig was Lemmy's idea! And I only built my waterslide _after_ you went on hiatus because that's when Lowes decided to have a half-off plaster sale! -Which I hope they're still doing." he looked up to the ceiling, where water was still gushing out of the big hole in his room.

I look up as well, sizing up the hole I made. "Oh, yeah. I can fix that." I said as I pulled back out my New 3DS. I pulled out the stylus and typed in something along the lines of, _"Fix this gap in the mansion or so help me I'll buy a PlayStation Vita"_. Almost instantaneously the ceiling was fixed and even all the puddles from the leaking water was cleaned up. "There you go!" I declared, putting the portable in my back pocket. "Good as new!"

Toon Link cheered, happy that he didn't need to waste his money again at a home improvement store. "Yaay! Thanks, Ants!"

"Don't mention it," I replied as I took off my backpack and purse, which I've been wearing since chapter 30. "Ugh, my baaaaack." I groaned as I dropped my stuff on the now-dry floor and stretched, making my joints pop. "I seriously don't think my bones should be making that sound during teenage-hood, but right now I don't even caaaaaaaare, ugh."

Toon Link watched as I stretched out and grew a half inch. "Hey," he said as I reached for the sky. "how old are you?"

I looked over with a twisted look on my face. My mom would ground me again if I told random people online my age, especially if it was just for a random fanfic. That's how it is in my family; no giving out age, no posting pictures with my actual face in them, no public posting on social media, so on. And yes, it's tiring explaining this every time I meet people who want to find me on Facebook or something. So yeah, I really didn't want to get into it with Toon Link, who I just went from wrecking his room to being friends with in less than a thousand words. So I decided instead of sitting down and have him pat my back as I complain about my internet restrictions, I would just say something a bit vague to answer his question...

"It depends on the size of the moon. That and I once flew around the earth so many times that we all went back a few years. Oh, and I also know who the Tenth Doctor is. So how old am I is quite the question." I picked up Poofy and hand the pillow to Toon Link. "Hey, I just decided your room is on the same floor as Jigglypuff. Can you please take my stuff to her room? I'm gonna crash there." I asked the little warrior with a huge smile on my face, hoping to avoid him asking about my age again.

He looked at my stuff and shook his head. "Sorry, I can't! I'm Mewtwo's four o'clock!" he said before going up to the other bedroom on this side of the mansion -ya know, the one that's not Robin's room- and walked in, closing the door behind him.

Naturally, I was confused by this. I left all my stuff on the floor and went into Mewtwo's room as well.

* * *

**Hmmmmmm... What's Mewtwo up to? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out (duh)! Here's a hint: No, it has nothing to do with grass types; don't even ask.**

**Thank you all once again for reading! **


	36. Chapter Thirty-Five: Explain Yourself!

Mewtwo was in his bedroom, shaking Toon Link's hand and motioning the little warrior to take a seat in on of the three really big and comfortable looking recliners. Mewtwo was actually wearing clothes for a change, and damn he liked to dress snazzy. He was giving Phoenix Wright a run for his money; wearing a lite purple three piece suit, complete with alligator shoes, reading glasses, and a silk tie. He even had a little purple rose pinned on his suit jacket. Sure, all this purple sounds ridiculous, but somehow he made it work. His attire matched the odd-class look his room was rocking.

Another chandelier! Right in the middle of his ceiling, hanged a another chandelier! But this one was made out of real stainless steel, and has a more simple look going. The rest of the room was decorated like a living room: three recliners, a matching loveseat, a glass coffee table right in the middle of all those seats, and a classy little rug that was big enough to cover the whole room. The place looked more like a waiting room than a bedroom. In fact, there wasn't even a bed anywhere!

The snazzied up Mewtwo let Toon Link sit down and get comfortable before turning to me, who was standing in the doorway with a look of impressed confusion twisting my face. "Excuse me, young lady." he said to me. "Do you mind closing the door all the way? I have the AC on, and you're letting all the cold air out."

"Oh! Oh, yeah, sure." I said as I stepped officially into Mewtwo's suppose-to-be bedroom and slammed the door behind me. "Sorry, I was just surprised by the lack of bed in this bedroom. For a second there I though I was back in my family room."

Mewtwo chuckled, understanding my confusion. "Oh, yes. I actually get that a lot." he answered back. He stood up to pour Toon Link some hot cocoa while still talking to me. "You see, I found that it would cost me a arm and a tail to rent a loft in town, so I figured I would just turn my own room here into my workspace and just buy on of those loveseats that pull out into a bed. But then my girlfriend invited me to live with her in her room, so everything worked out!" He handed Toon Link the cocoa, who clapped his hands and began chugging it down. "Amazing how things like that work out, hu?" he finished as he poured my a mug.

I look over to the coffee table, where picture of Mewtwo and Palutena hugging each other was framed and on full display, and then back to Mewtwo. "Yeah, it's insane." I agreed as I accepted the drink.

"I'm glad you agree," Mewtwo sat down in the recliner facing Toon Link, crossing his legs and he pulled a note pad and pen from his suit jacket. "Now, as soon as you finished your drink, young lady, can you please leave? All my appointments are private."

Toon Link gulped down the last of his drink before he began jumping up and down in his seat. "No, don't kick her out!" he said, waving his arms about. "She's my friend! She can stay! And besides, even if she does leave she can still write a whole chapter about our session." The little warrior then turned to me with a little confused look on his face. "That is how it works, right Ants?"

I sipped my cocoa and gave him a thumbs up.

Mewtwo lowered his note pad and looker over at me, a little shocked. "Hold on." he said, adjusting his glasses. "Are you _the_ Ants? As in, our author Ants?"

"Yup," I answered, wiping the foam mustache I had on my upper lip. "The one and only."

Mewtwo got up from his seat to shake my hand. "It's a true honor to finally meet you instead of you yelling at us through the ceiling." he gushed as he shook my hand. "Thank you so much for having me become a therapist and me and Palutena get together. This is the nicest anyone's ever treated me in a fanfiction."

"Oh! Therapist! That's it!" I snapped my fingers together, finally understanding everything. "Sorry," I said to Mewtwo as I got him to quit shaking my hand. "For the story to get anywhere I sometimes have myself not know what's going on,"

"Ah, yes! I completely understand." Mewtwo clapped his hands in appreciation. "I would expect nothing less from such a confused yet talented person."

"Oh, yeah, I have no idea where I've gotten such talent, but I- WAIT." I turned to the Pokémon and pointed a accusing finger at him. "What the _hell_ did you mean by confused, baldy?"

Toon Link calmly sipped his second cup of cocoa he took without asking as Mewtwo shook his head. "Why, it's quite obvious, actually." he replied as he sat back down in his recliner. "But this is suppose to be Toon Link's therapy session, not yours. So, if you really want to know-"

"_**YES**_." I growled through my teeth.

"-You are welcome to come back after your hunt is done to talk about it." Mewtwo pulled out is date book and flipped through it. "Tuesday afternoon is when I take walk-ins, but I'm also open every other Saturday, but I suggest you call first."

"No!" I exclaimed while typing away on my New 3DS. "I refuse to leave without answers!" Sardonyx's hammer from Steven Universe appeared and I grabbed it from the air and pointed it at Mewtwo. "For the sake of your health I strongly suggest you answer me now:_ What did you mean by confused?"_

Toon Link raised his hand. "Oh! Oh! Maybe he thinks you're gay!"

I slumped over, then turned to the little warrior. "I literally just hit on Snake. I'm pretty damn sure I'm straight."

He tilted his head, unsure. "Can I check your internet history just to be safe?" Toon Link asked.

I swung the hammer around my head a few times before throwing it at my new friend. "What's wrong with a simple 'yes' nowadays!" I screamed while watching Toon Link jump out of his seat and duck for cover.

"And what's wrong with a simple 'later'?" Mewtwo asked, still calmly seated.

"That's different!" I growled as I picked back up the hammer.

"How?"

I lowered my weapon just long enough to think that question over. "Well, yes was a direct answer, for starters." I said with the hammer over my shoulder. "Which is what I want from you, but you're not giving me. That, and I'm the author! I have every right to demand answers from you creatures without questions! In fact, it's my duty! An author must not only entertain, but explain and even satisfy!"

"You think your audience is satisfied with the fact they still have no idea what is happening at Termina?" Mewtwo quipped.

"And what those nine Smashers are up to, including bigger me and slightly bigger me?" Toon Link added.

Hearing this, I realized I've been not-purposely stalling. I dropped my weapon and it disappeared, leaving me to rethink my actions again. "Gosh damn it," I mumbled. "I did it again."

I turned to Mewtwo and Toon Link, who were both sitting down. "I'm sorry for wasting your time." I said as I slowly typed on my New 3DS to get out of here. "I'll stop bothering you all now. I'll just get the nine back and finally leave you all alone."

Mewtwo shook his head. "Now now, Ants, you don't seem to get it-"

"Well, duh! Of course I don't! I'M CONFUSED." I exclaimed, stomping my feet. "Ugh! What is that even suppose to mean? 'She's confused'? WHAT IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSE TO MEAN? SHUT UP TOON LINK."

The littlest green bean stood in his chair, shocked that I caught him even before he did something. "I didn't even say anything yet!" he said.

"Oh, forget it! Just forget it!" I threw my arms in the air, admitting defeat. "You win, Mewtwo! I'll come back _later_ to find out what you mean by me being confused _later_. After I finally get those nine Smashers out of Termina, which I won't wait until _later_ to do it, I'll do it _right now_! BYE!"

I tapped ENTER on my 3DS and I was off on another adventure.

Once I was gone, Toon Link turned to Mewtwo and asked, "Is that what you wanted? To upset her and then promise to come back?"

"Hmmmmm... Maybe." Mewtwo replied in a way that made his answer sound like an obvious yes.

"But why?"

"I dunno. At first I tried it to see if she would write about me more, but then I realized if I got her angry enough she'd have to write about me, and then it got a little out of hand, but I guess it all worked out in the long run." Mewtwo picked back up his notepad and pen and tapped them together. "Now, Toon Link, lets start your session. How have been?"

"Oh, pretty great!" Toon Link sat up straight and nodded his head excitedly. "I just had my bedroom ruined by Ants! and then fixed by Ants! And now she's off look for the two other versions of me, and can't wait to see them again!"

Mewtwo stared at his client for a second, grasping how casually-excitedly he just said that roller-coaster of an paragraph. He then quickly turned to his notepad and scribbled like crazy on it. "Okay, and this is exciting how?..."

* * *

**For some weird reason I've always wanted to have Mewtwo be a therapist and I do not know why. I should tell that to my therapist once I get one. Knowing me, it's bound to happen someday.**

**So my summer's almost over and soon I shall be entering my final year of high school. I'm homeschooled, so it's not an huge deal to me, but I'm really excited for college! ALL NIGHTERS AND RAMEN NOODLE DIETS HERE I COME! -The reason I bring this up is because I'm looking into colleges with good writing classes. This fanfic has really helped me improve and get in touch with my writing and I really want to make a career out of it, like writing for TV or something. I wonder if I could enter some of the chapters from this story as class papers but just change a few of the names? Hmmmmm...**

**Anywho, thanks once again for reading! I'm finally going to settle the Termina story arc once and for all! *Screams the word "finally" into a random void until voice gives out.* Stay tuned!**


	37. Chapter Thirty-Six: Termina's Fruit Cart

It was another beautiful day in Termina. The sky was deep blue, the birds were singing something only slightly creepy, and the land seemed at peace. In Clock Town people were mingling about, having a grand time. The children danced and singed songs they've learned from the forest as their parents went about, trying to finish errands. Ah, yes, Termina hasn't been this wonderful since they've stopped the creepy moon.

A woman sat in the middle of town, maintaining her little fruit cart. She would come every weekday from her farm in Ikana Valley to sell the fruit she'd grown in her garden. She didn't really need the money; she just like socializing with the town folk. And what better way to do so than with groceries?

"Here you go!" she handed a costumer a bag of oranges they just paid for. "Come again!"

The costumer smiled and waved as he walked off, carrying the bag over his shoulders.

She waved back as she turned to her next costumer. "Good morning! How can I help you toda-"

She gasped when she finally looked over. There stood two people wearing matching black capes that covered their faces. One was short, his huge nose poked out of the cape that was too large for him that dragged two feet on the ground, and he was carrying a empty brown sack. The other was about twice his height, her now-tacky blue hair poked out of her perfectly-fitting cape in all directions, and she was carrying two weapons: One was a sword with a hole crafted into it, the other was a bronze spear.

Yup. Mario and Lucina were robbing a street market.

"We'll help our a-selves, thank you very much!" quipped Mario as he took hold of the fruit cart and tried to knock it over. -But he couldn't, because this is Mario we're talking about here and he also hasn't eaten in two days.

Lucina held up her sword to the lady and motioned to the fruit. "I suggest you bag this and all your money for us before it's gets ugly." she said, trying to be cool but she actually sounded really bored.

Before she or anyone else knew what she was doing, the woman jumped over her cart, pushed passed the two, and ran like heck home while screaming, "Heeeeeelp! Heeeeeeelp! Those two caped freaks are trying to rob me!"

"Damn it," Lucina muttered as she rubbed her forehead. "I knew she would be a runner."

Mario huffed, feeling like his pride was just tainted. "Well, let's a-go after her!" he exclaimed. "We can't just let her leave! We were right in the middle of robbing her!"

"Oh, drop it, Mario. I really don't feel like chasing another person who insulted you down."

"But she called us freaks!" Mario stomped his feet. He was about to go on about getting revenge when he noticed a band of tough-looking guys carrying clubs coming towards them. "...And the police, apparently..."

Lucina looked up and noticed the mob. "Gosh damn it, not again."

She looked up to the sky as it began to rain, anime style. Yes, it was a beautiful day just a second ago, but as soon as that fruit lady hollered the storm clouds came rushing up and began giving the place more of the disappointment-feel it needed. Lucina glared at the cloud for knowing what to do at a time like this as she searched for something. He eyes drifted over to a tiny dark speck near the sun that flew in circles, waiting for it's signal to do something.

That was their ride.

"Dark Pit! Dark Pit! Get down here; we got another failure!" she yelled as she waved her arms back and forth frantically, trying to get their back-up plan to noticed them.

Her boyfriend looked over and swooped into action. He stopped doing loop-de-loops, pushed his wings back, and plummeted towards the town. He fell through the sky in a way that was actually graceful; just like a bullet he cut through the air and aimed for the town. But right before his face made contact with pavement he had his wings kick right back in and swoop him upwards. He then flew only seven inches off the ground towards Lucina and Mario in lightning speed to easily scoop them up and fly back to the others.

But he didn't notice the mob of town crime-fighters in his way until he was barreling through all of them.

"Urrrrgh! So many butts!" he yelled he flew on through, causing the mob to freak out in a ticked off manner. "Watch where you're going!" "Learn how to fly!" "Oh no, not today!" they exclaimed as he whammed into people.

He finally got through the tower of humans and made it to Lucina and Mario. "Need a lift?" he wittily asked as he scooped them up. With one hand he grabbed Lucina and placed her on his back so she could ride smoothly; with the other he grabbed Mario by the cape and held onto him like a fruit basket. He them swooped back up into the air and flew as fast as he could out of town.

"Oh boy! Flying!" Mario cheered as they somewhat-gracefully went through the clouds. "I've always loved flying!"

"Gee, never would've guess." sneered Dark Pit. "Ya know, besides the fact like every other game you're in you somehow can fly."

"Ugh, now don't you two start at it again." Lucina mourned as she held both her sword and her spear against her shoulder. "I've had my fair share of annoying today, thank you very much. I don't need being stuck listening to you two lamely insulting each other on top of it."

Mario huffed again. "Oh, I'll have you a-know I have improved my insults quite drastically since me and Pittoo's last spat. In fact, I have-"

"Oh, shut up, clay dough nose." Dark Pit interrupted while rolling his eyes.

"**GASP! **Shots a-fired! Shots a-fired!" Mario exclaimed. "Well, two can play it that way once a-more! you little sh-"

"Oh. That's what you did. You learned how to swear. Okay."

"Hey! You didn't let me a-finish! Why, you big old as-"

"ENOUGH!" Lucina shouted, sick of even listening to these two talk. "CAN YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP?"

The two insult-failures looked over to Lucina, who have face palmed herself onto Dark Pit's back. "Dear, are you okay?" Dark Pit asked.

"Ugh. Sure. Whatever." she mourned, once again not caring. "I just want to get back to camp."

Pittoo and Mario shared a look, but decided to let it slide. "Yes. Of course." Dark Pit replied. "We're almost there."

They flew in silence for a minute as they flew over Romani Ranch, heading into the woodland. They then landed in a little clearing with random tents scattered about, all of them clearly stolen.

"Honey, I'm home!" Mario declared as he stumbled about like he had jet lag or something.

* * *

**Oh. Wow. Okay. Damn, these guys are not doing well, are they? Huh.**

**Heyo, amigos! Now listen up, homeschooling is really eating up my time so I might not be posting chapters as often. I'M NOT GOING ON HIATUS AGAIN, I SWEAR. Never again. I'm just giving you all a heads up. *Collapse onto pile of GED books.***

**Thanks once again for reading! I love you all!**


	38. Chapter Thirty-Seven: Confused Greetings

Okay. So you know who Princess Peach is, right? Yeah, yeah, of course you do, I know. But I want you to picture her for a moment. Picture all of her, from the perfectly polished crown on her head to the tiny little heels on her feet. All the blonde, all the pink, and all the elegance. You see it? Good.

Now, replace the perfectly blonde hair with chopped up, messed up, dirty blonde hair underneath a bandana. Switch the overly pink dress with the most hardcore, beat up jumpsuit you could think up. Exchange the pretty little high heels for rugged combat booths that belong on a soldier, not a princess.

Yup. That was the Princess Peach who was dragging me by the hair towards the three misfits.

She clopped on over to them, with determination written on her face and vengeance scarred on her fist that bragged me along. I, on the other hand, had pain and defeat tattooed in my misery. "Hey! Hey!" I exclaimed as I was pulled forth. "Isn't the hair pulling a bit much, Peachy?"

Peach smirked at me, like it was humorist that I thought I had a say in what she could do to me. She pulled me up and tossed me onto the feet of Mario.

"Ow. Okay. Thanks for stopping." I muttered as I picked my head up.

Lucina, Dark Pit, and Mario looked me over. The fact I dared to talk in such a matter to Peach and that hair pulling was enough to cause me pain confused them. They were video game characters, damn it! A lethal bomb could hardly hurt them! What was my deal?

"Uhhh, what is that?" Dark Pit asked, pointing to me.

"Hey. It's '_who_ is that', mister." I said as I got to me feet. "Gosh damn, you guys, if you insist on mistreating me, at least have the decency to call me by the correct pronouns."

They all looked at me in a even stranger manner. Lucina decided to be the first to speak to me, the unknown pain-feeler. "Uh, can we help you?" she asked in a tone she hope sounded caring.

I dusted myself off and turned around to look about. I glanced at the stolen tents that weren't even in good shape and stared at the mess of a fireplace that was in the middle of the areas, but a huge tent in the way back caught my eye. It was half green, half purple, coated with shimmer, and had the Pilipino flag sticking out of it. "Yeah, you can." I replied, pointing towards said tent. "Is that Lucina's tent?"

"Nope!" exclaimed Dark Pit, wrapping his arm around Lucina. "It's Lucina_ and_ my tent! Of course, I let her decorate it. But I'm the one who put the flag up; ain't that right, dear?"

Lucina looked over at me, showing no sign of caring or even emotion. "Yeah, whatever." was her reply. She then looked down at the ground, like she wished she was somewhere else.

"Ooooooooookay then." I said, looking away. "Anyway, another way you can help me is telling me where are the others."

The characters squinted at me. "Uh... Others?" asked Dark Pit.

"There are no 'others'." said Peach. "Just us now, sweetie. It's been just us for quite some time now"

My head shot up like a bullet at the very thought of this. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed. "What are you talking about?"

I placed my hands on my hips and stared this obvious liars down. Huh, they're staring at me with no hesitation; they don't _seem_ to be lying. But I know I sent more than four smashers out here, where could they be? And why were these guys claiming to not know what I was talking about?

"Wait a minute..." Mario suddenly said, stoking his mustache. "You're talking about other Smashers, aren't you?"

I glanced over, with a look of irritated annoyance covering my face. "No, I'm talking about the family of kangaroos that are related to Dark Pit. **_YES, I'm TALKING ABOUT OTHER SMASHERS. WHERE ARE THEY?"_**

Peach drew in a sharp breath; the opposite of a sigh. Mario quickly rushed over to her side to comfort her, taking her by the hand and holding her close. I was quite confused by this. "What?" I asked. "Did they leave to get jobs at Target or something?"

"No!" exclaimed Lucina, now showing emotion.

"I'm sorry," said Peach, collecting herself. "But we can't tell you why."

I laughed, humored by their refusal. "Oh, come on. You have to tell me, Peachy. I just let you pull my hair."

Peach glared at me in a squinting matter, which you automatically know means she wasn't going to put up with my crap. "You were helping yourself to our food supplies, so I fought you and you lost. And after that I dragged you out of the food tent by your hair."

"Now now now, I was _checking_ your food supplies, and then you foolishly attacked me, but you looking so cool I decided to _let you win_."

"You were crying."

I immediately wipe my face, trying to make my eyes look at least a little less red. "_Fake_ crying." I replied, rubbing my face practically off.

"You're arm is still bleeding from me hitting it with a log."

I look down at my left arm, which had quite the cut over my elbow. "_Fake_ bleeding." I answer, unfolding my sleeves.

"ENOUGH!" exclaimed Dark Pit, pointing at me. "This fool is not letting us get anywhere! We de-"

"HEY!" I now exclaimed, putting my foot down. "How dare thee call your writer a fool? I'll have you know I have every right to have you suddenly dressed in a potato sack! Don't make me abuse my power!"

The small group's eyes widened. Oh, yeah, I should of probably told them I'm me at the beginning, hu?

* * *

**Yeah. I probably should've. Oh well.**

**HEY HEY HEY EVERYBODY! Welcome back to the hood! So, a lot has been up in my world, involving revenge, family, the true meaning of friendship, and a binge watching of BoJack Horseman; I won't bore you with the details. But I must say, it has somewhat opened this homeschooler's eyes to the real world around her.**

**As in, some people are just plain out jerks.**

**But like the one(s) I'm talking about read my fanfiction.**

**Anyway, these such things could not stop me from writing for you guys! HOORAY FOR THAT!**

**Thanks again for reading! It means so much to me that even after over a year, people still read and review this thing! Wowie!**

**(P.S. _YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!_ THE SWITCH, BABY! _YEEEEEAAAAAH!_ TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE ME MY NEW MARIO CART!)**


	39. Chapter Thirty-Eight: I Don't Even Know

"_What_?" yelled Lucina, seeming somewhat outraged.

"You're our a-writer?" asked Mario in shock.

"_**You're Ants**_?" exclaimed Peach.

"Uh, yeah. That's me." I say, a bit offended. "Why such a surprised response?" I posed, putting one hand on my hip and the other on my head, then placing my feet in a ballet stand. "Am I disappointing you?" I joking, shaking a bit from keeping the pose.

They looked me up and down, taking in my appearance. -Ooh! Finally! I get to describe what I look like! Okay!- I posed there, the sleeves of my dark red "I'm a Zelda" hoodie now unrolled, almost reaching my hands. My jean shorts folded up quite nicely, with different color jean patches sewed randomly onto them. Keeping my ballet stand was hard, considering the huge combat booths I was wearing. My skin was evenly tan, like I was raised on a tropical island; and my hair dark brown and wavy, blowing freely in the wind. I squinted at them with my eyes, that were almost the same color as my hair.

"Uhhhh, I a-guess?" was the reply I got from Mario. "Don't a-take this the wrong a-way, Ants, it's just..."

"We expected you to look stupid-er!" Dark Pit called out from a safe distance.

My arms dropped at the sound of this insult. "Oh, come ON!" I exclaimed at the same time Lucina left and went into her and Pittoo's tent. "First off, stupid-_er_? That's a stupid way to say I look stupid! Second, I'M NOT STUPID! And third, **WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD LOOK STUPID**?"

"No no no, sweetie! I'm sure that's not what he meant." Peach shook her head in pure honesty, then turned to Dark Pit and said through her teeth, _"Right, Pittoo?"_

Dark Pit shrugged, figuring it would be better to add than backtrack. "Yeah, sure." he said as he crossed his arms. "We expected you to look wimpy-er, too."

I tried not to grind my teeth at the sound of another insult from that feATHERED LITTLE FREAK HOW DARE HE TALK TO ME IN SUCH A- No, Ants. Another random outburst is not the answer. You know what you can do instead.

Potato sack his little butt.

I slowly turned my head towards the anti-hero, my face in a look of utter disgust. I made intense eye contact with him as I reached into my big hoodie pocket for my-

Oh. Right.

I then slowly turned my head towards Peach, my face in a look of utter annoyance. I made intense eye contact with her as I walked towards her.

"Man, this girl is really bad at decisions, ain't she?" Mario asked Peach as I walked over.

"Oh, don't say that!" Peach scowled her boyfriend as I walked over. "She's our writer for goodness sakes! We should be thankful of her for choosing _us_ to write about and revere the way she writes us. She deserves dignity and respect. We must not insult or even question her choices; being a princess and leader of this group of ruffians I declare we must treat Ants as a- What the heck are you doing?"

Peach looked down at me, who was digging through one of her chest pockets. "Nothing. Go on, I'm listening." I motioned for her to keep talking as I continued to dig. "Crap, it's not there." I got on my knees and began digging through her pants pockets in great search.

Peach threw her arms up while Dark Pit and Mario just stood there watching in utter confusion. "You... You mind telling me what you're looking for?" Peach asked as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh no, not at all. Go ahead." I muttered as I checked one pocket, then another. Gosh dang, where is it?

The princess rolled her eyes and decided to let me continue on my ridiculous little hunt. "You know what? I take it back. All of it back." I began looking down her booths as she turned to Dark Pit and shouted, "You can call her whatever you want, Pittoo!"

Dark Pit clapped his hands together in joy. "Oh, yeah! I was going to anyway, but I appreciate your approval! Okay!"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Yay. More name calling." I sighed as I now moved to looking inside her freaKING SOCKS FOR IT OH COME ON! "As if I don't get enough of that from my mom."

The anti-hero pondered what to sneer at me first. "Hmmm... Oh! Hey, Ants! What do you call a dumba-"

"NO." Me, Peach, and Mario exclaimed at Dark Pit before he could even get to the punchline.

"We know what you were a-gonna say, Pittoo!" Mario said.

"And you know very well that you can't say that!" I added as I finished checking if Peach's crown had pockets. "Or at least, you can't say that without it getting bleeped, and I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that would ruin your joke."

Dark Pit smapped his fingers and disappointment. "Oh, fine. Hmmm... You got any ideas for a good zinger, Luci-"

He looked to his side and noticed that Lucina had left. "Oh. I guess not."

I got my hand out of one of Peach's cargo pockets and pointed to their tent. "She went into yo shimmer tent," I told him, then went back to digging.

Dark Pit looked over at me. "She did?" he asked, but immediately realized I just said that, so it was a stupid question to ask. "Oh, yeah, of course she did." he backtracked, "She's probably getting that huge sledgehammer we found months ago to use on you."

I was still going through that cargo pocket when he said that, so I was only half listening. "Huh. Where did y'all find that?" I asked.

"In front of Happy Mask Salesman's Shop," Mario told me as held Peach steady as I looked underneath her feet. "right after he attacked."

"Oh, how intere- _WAIT WHAT_?" My eyes shot over to Mario in questioning. "Whoa, wait. No, you mean when you guys beat the crap out of HMS and his store, right?" I tilted my head at him, thinking he just misspoke.

"What? No." Mario said in confusion. "HMS attacked all of us smashers and even kidna-"

"HEY** HEY HEY** _**HEY HEY **_HEY _HEY_!" Dark Pit yelled out, flying up to Mario. He grabbed the plumber seven feet off the ground and head him by the shoulders, up in the air, and shook him back and forth. "WE CAN'T TELL _ANYONE_, EVEN THE WRITER, REMEMBER?" He said, with his face right in front of Mario's nose. "HE'LL COME BACK IF WE DO!"

"YES! FINALLY!" I jumped up from the ground and held up my New 3DS. Peach took it back at the food supplies and I finally found it up one of her pant legs.

Before turning Dark Pit's outfit into barrel, I looked up at him shaking Mario while Peach tried to jump up and grab him in concern. No, I wasn't concern for the plumber, I was concern about what Pittoo said. HMS attacked the smashers? But he told me it was the other way around. And what's this about them not being allowed to tell me? Who scared them so badly that they not only shut up, but also left their friends behind somewhere?

"Hold on." I pointed at Dark Pit with a questioning finger. "HMS told me you guys attacked him and robbed him broke."

Peach, Dark Pit, and Mario looked down at me in horror, like I just said beetle juice three times or something. "You've... You've met with HMS?" Peach whispered, with her hands over her mouth in utter horror.

"Uh, yeah." I replied as I opened up my portable and tapped away on it. "The first place I visited was his shop in hopes of finding you guys." _POOF!_ "Damn, that place was a mess. Oh, by the way, I hope you're into barrels, Pittoo, because you're cosplaying one now."

Dark Pit dropped Mario and looked down at himself. With the use of my New 3DS, I had replaced his emo jumper thingy with a highly unflattering barrel that he was now sporting like an overall dress. "ACK!" he exclaimed as he fell to the ground in shock.

Peach and Mario laughed while I smiled at the sight of this. "Ah, yes. That's much better." I said as I put my New 3DS in one of my back pockets. "Anyhoo, yeah, so after much yelling and trying to blow the sad man up, he confessed that you and the others ruined his shop, robbed it dry, then ran off. So me and Master-"

"WHAT." a voice boomed from behind me.

We all look over to see Lucina, inches away from my back, holding a huge copper sledgehammer over her shoulder.

"Hey!" I screeched, stepping back from the clearly manic princess. "Were you going to attack me?"

"THAT LIAR. THAT PATHETIC LIAR." she exclaimed, dropping the weapon and taking a step towards me.

"Okay, not going to answer me? Okay. That's probably for the best."

Peach pushed my aside to approach her fellow princess. "Now, Lucina, don't start this again." she begged as she took Lucina by the hand. "You remember what happened the last time you lost your tem-"

"OH, SCREW THAT!" Lucina screamed, pulling away from their leader. She pointed to me and shouted, "HE FED HER -_OUR WRITER_\- A BUNCH OF LIES ABOUT US, TOADSTOOL! ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT, TOO?"

She walked towards me again. "LISTEN UP, WRITER! HAVE I GOT A STORY TO TELL YOU!"

"Uuuuuuuuuuh..." was all I could manage to reply.

Peach began walking around. "Pittoo! Help me calm down your girlfriend again!" she called out to where ever the anti-hero went.

Dark Pit actually flew up into a tree to hide his shame and consider if going naked was less embarrassing than wearing this darn barrel. "Uh, no thanks!" he yelled back from behind the branches.

Lucina ignored all that to yell in my face. "ARE YOU READY TO HEAR THE TRUTH?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." I replied as I sat down on the ground, for I knew this was going to be a long one. "But do you mind if I stop with the all caps just for your story. People will take it less seriously if I don't."

"GO AHEAD."

"Thanks."

Mario ran up to Lucina and tugged her cape. "No, Lucy, no! Don't a-break the treaty!" he begged as he pulled with all his might, in hopes of distracting the blue haired princess. But, as we already know, Mario never exercises, so his efforts were useless.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at the plumber. She then turned to me. "LISTEN UP, WRITER! LISTEN GOOD!"

"Oh boy." I said as I crossed my legs.

"Oh no." muttered Mario as he kept on pulling.

* * *

**HAPPY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY! YEEEEAH!**

**Yup! You read right! This chapter has been published the very day of A Taste of Smashiness anniversary! TA-DA!**

**Gosh, I've been writing this fan-fic for two whole years? Daaaaang. Why do I keep not wrapping this story up? WHAT AM I DOING? THIS SHOULD OF WRAPPED UP AGES AGO! _WHY AM I SO DARN INVESTED? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-_**

**JK. Seriously guys, I do love writing for all of you. I enjoying writing out all of these wacky situation and reading them over and deleting some of it and then writing it all over again. **

**Thank you all for all the support over the year_s_! You all will never know how much it means to me that people actually still read this stuff! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! _YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL!_**


	40. Chapter Thirty-Nine: Fall into Christmas

I suddenly stood up and rushed over to Lucina. I covered her mouth with my left hand and whispered, "I don't wanna here about any of yo s***, Princess."

Lucina immediately pulled away from me. A look of disgust soon covered her face._ "What?"_ she spat out, irritated that I was daring to ruin her rant.

"Oh, it's nothing personal." I insured her as walked on over to Peach and put my arm around her. "I just really, really, really don't want to write about you being ticked at Happy Mask and your daddy issues." I made eye contact with Peach and tilted my head. "You guys understand, right?"

"Uhh," Peach muttered while stared at me in utter confusion. She had no idea what I was up to now, all she knew was she didn't feel good about it. "Uhhh,"

"OH, THANK A-GOODNESS!" Mario, letting go of Lucina's cape and collapsing onto the ground, did a sigh of relief. "Now we don't have to worry about HMS taking one of us today! Oh a-boy!"

Peach's head practically spun around like a owl in order to face Mario. "**MARIO**!" she screamed, throwing her hands onto her face.

Hearing this, Dark Pit fell out of his hiding tree and landed in a dead bush, breaking a few of his barrel's boards during the landing. "_Damn you, plumber man_!" he screamed while trying to roll off the bush.

Lucina dropped to her knees. "No!" she exclaimed as she threw her hands up towards the sky. "I wanted to be the one to spill the beans about HMS! I should of been the one!" she turned to look at Mario and pointed a accusing finger at him. "_Darn you, plumber man_!" she yelled, then pulled out her spear and threw it onto the ground in rage.

"Yaaaay. Now this is what I feel like writing about." I said to myself as I watched Pittoo roll around.

Mario sat up at the sound of all the yelling. He took off his hat and scratched his head. Why were they yelling at him?

I let go of Peach and pushed pass Lucina. I walked over to Mario and bent down to face him. I tapped his nose and said, "You spilled about HMS, you silly plumber man."

His threw his hands to his face as he jumped to his feet. "Oh, a-no!" he exclaimed, facing me. "I'mma a so a-sorry! I didn't mean to say whatever I just a-said! I'm really bad at keeping secrets! Almost as bad as I am at telling a-jokes!"

"_Pfffft!_ You don't need to apologize to me." I replied, resting an elbow on one of his shoulders and leaning in a way I hoped was cool. "At least you didn't let that _other_ Happy Mask secret slip. That would of been a disaster!"

Mario looked at me with a confused look plastered on his face. "The _HMS forced us all to live out here in order to be closer to Termina, making it easier for us to steal stuff for him_ secret; or the _If we don't doing everything he says he takes one of us away as punishment to never be seen again, and so far he has used Ben Drowned has taken_" Mario did a quick gasp for air. "_Ryu, Marth, Young Link, Little Mac, and Link_ secret?"

In order to keep myself from laughing at the look on Lucina's dumbfounded face in the background, I gave Mario a very deadpan look. "_Yeeeeees_." I answered in a mischievous tone as a smile spread over my face.

Mario caught on to the tone of my voice and took it as a hint that he once again blew it. "Mama mia." He whispered to himself as he lied down.

But before he could even rethink his mere existence, Lucina -still on her knees- shuffles on over to him, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him up to her eye level. "I wanted to be the one to tell all and ruin everything, but of course you found a way to ruin THAT too, hu?" she snarled at him through her teeth.

I stepped back so Dark Pit could roll over to Lucina and try to pull her away from poor old Mario, who looked like her aged five years just by looking directly into Lucina's enraged filled eyes. "Now now, my dear. Let the fella go." he said as he took hold of both of her arms and tried to pull her away. "He ain't worth getting angry over, and you know it."

As Peach ran over to Mario's aid, Lucina slowly turned to face Dark Pit. "Yeah. I do know." she answered rather slowly. "But what he has put to motion is worth anyone's anger."

Right before Lucina even finished saying that, the land around them began to grow dark. Rain clouds quickly rolled in and hid the sun, making everything look gloomy and depressing. The wind picked up and began ruining everyone's hair. Even a bunch of birds stared circling over us, sing The Song of Healing backwards once again.

"Oh, crap." Peach declared under her breath.

As everyone began to panic like they were at a disco, I just stood at the sidelines, stoking my chin as I thought out loud. "So let me see if I got all of the facts right: HMS forced all of you -you four and the other five Smashers I've sent out- to live out here" I motioned to the wilderness around us. "so you could be closer to Termina and can easily steal stuff from there for the bastard. And the only reason you agree to such ridiculousness is because if you don't do his bidding, he has Bed Drowned come and take a Smasher to never be seen again. Am I right?"

"Who cares?" Dark Pit screamed as he jumped to his feet. "One of us might di-"

"Answer me, Flappy!" I interrupted the anti-hero.

Before he look up at the sky and scream his head off, Peach pushed him aside. "Yes," she answered me. "you got everything right."

I placed my hands on my hips and stared at the now-bad*** princess. "Really?" I asked. "Why the heck would you guys let an old creep like HMS boss you around?"

"Oh, because he was going to kill all of us if we didn't go along with him." Dark Pit answered, while Lucina was handing him the spear she threw earlier and pushing him towards me. "The guy is crazy good at causing people to suddenly light on fire."

"Or, right." I said as the birds over head sang even louder. I shoved my hands into my front pockets. "That is quite the persuasion."

Suddenly, over the thick of the woods, appeared Bed Drowned, surrounded by mysterious fog. Mario gasped at the sight of the statue, then passed out; luckily he was already on the ground so he didn't really fall. Lucina yelled curses at the sky as she swung her sword up and down, hitting the dirt like it was trying to attack her. Peach made some kind of whimpering sound as she picked up Mario and held him close. Dark Pit just face planted himself to the earth - his belly over Lucina's lap, his face on the dirt- and hoped if he just ignore that _thing_, this time it'll just go away.

As the wind grew stronger, I stood next to them and watched their reactions. I saw the fear in their eyes as they broke down and tried to handle their emotions. I could feel the dread in the air; them knowing that, once again, one of them were going to be taken away and might never be seen again, but not knowing who. I could tell that each one feared that it could be them that could be taken; or worst, the one they cared about.

Lucina looked up at me. I could tell she was on the edge of crying, but she didn't want to. She knew if she did, she might not stop. She placed a hand on Pittoo's back and rubbed back and forth, comforting him. She had already lost her distant relative and hero, Marth, to that _thing_ known as Ben Drowned, she didn't want to lose her boyfriend to it too. For one brief moment, I saw what was hidden under her angry expressions.

I saw a face constructed out of utter brokenness.

But then the moment ended, and her face was once again masked with anger and coldness. "WHAT? ARE JUST GOING TO STAND THERE?" she once again was yelling at me. "YOU CAUSED THIS, WRITER! DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!"

I...

Okay.

I looked away from the small group, not wanting to face them. I pulled out my New 3DS and my stylus. Slowly but surely, I typed out what I wanted.

**_FLASH! _**Out of thin air came a quick bolt of light and a loud ripping. "AURGH! BY 'SOMETHING', I DIDN'T MEAN BLIND ALL OF US!" screamed Lucina as she made sure Dark Pit wouldn't pull his face out of the ground.

"Oh, my!" was all Peach could say as the light engulfed the area.

After a few seconds, the light dimmed, revealing what I like to call a rip in time. A somewhat huge blue oval with a blue-ish green swirl going around and around inside it, floating in thin air, practically beckoning someone -anyone- to jump on in.

Ben Drowned, with his ever-infamous blank glare, somehow saw what I just typed up and imminently knew what it was. He disappeared; just so he could get closer to it.

I noticed his absence. Crap. I better hurry up.

Dark Pit finally lifted his head out of the dirt. The first thing he saw was the oval thingy. "What... Is that a portal?" he asked as he sat up. "I freaking magi-"

"NOPE!" I exclaimed, cutting him off as I lifted him and Mario up and over to the oval. "It's a SCIENCE portal! Yup! Science! I want nothing to do with magic, so I'm putting it on record as a science-y portal! Yay science! Science science science science..." I chanted the word "science" over and over again until I threw the two into said SCIENCE portal.

"MARIO!" exclaimed Peach, imminently getting up and jumping into the portal after the plumber.

I watch the three plummet into the swirl. Mario still out cold, Pittoo flailing his arms about, and Peach lunging towards Mario like a football player. I sighed, then turned around to find myself face-to-face with Lucina's sword.

Her expression was sheer anger; the most anger anyone could emote. "Where. The HELL THAT PORTAL GO!" she yelled at me, sweat flying every time she pronounced a word.

I stared at the sharp tip of her sword for a second, taking in the fact that I just might be facing death here. But then I was able to look pass said sword and look the wrath-stricken princess in the eyes. "A dump." I answered, right before ducking down, throwing myself towards Lucina's knee, colliding with said knees, causing her to fall forward, into the portal.

"SCREW YOOOOOOOU!" she screamed as the portal closed behind her.

"I'm miss you already," I snapped my fingers as the oval disappeared.

The moment that portal was completely gone was the moment Ben Drowned reappeared. He stood where the portal once was, his signature grin seeming a bit off, like he was disappointed or something. The wind picked up as more fog came in, making it so if you wanted to land a plane in this area, you couldn't.

"Hey." I said to the creepy statue as I walked over to it. I motioned to Ben's hands. "Put your arms out." I told him.

The statue disappeared at my request; only to reappear in the exact same place, now with his hands out and his arms wide open. I jumped up and landed in his arms. "Okay, Benny!" I exclaimed as I made myself comfortable. "I'm the one you're taking today! Carry me to Happy Mask's land of doom for Smashers!"

I'm so glad Bed Drowned can't talk, because I could tell just from his grin that he had so many questions.

**_POOF!_** He disappeared with me in his arms.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Smash Mansion...

_"Pika pik! Pika pika piiiiiik!"_ Pikachu sang in the tune of Jingle Bells as he danced into the Mansion's pub. He held onto the Santa hat he was wearing as he spun around and around. _"Pika pika, pika pika! Pika pika piiiiiiiik!"_

From his seat at the bar, Cloud lifted his cup towards the electric type as a toast to Pikachu's Christmas spirit. "Ho ho ho to you, Pokémon... Thingy." he said before downing the drink.

Pikachu turned to Cloud and did a bow. "Pik pika!" he said, adjusting his hat. He did a little jump and proceeded to dance about and sing.

Jack Sparrow stood behind the bar, leaning against a liquor cabinet. "Bloody hell, is someone singing again?" he asked, holding onto the cabinet like it was the only thing keeping him upright. "What did I say about singing in the pub?"

In the booth closest to the exit, Snake and Bayonette raised their drinks into the air and sang out, _"Not to sing in the puuuuuub! Do not sing in the puuuuuuuuub!"_

Jack's migraine worsened at the very sound of the pub's love birds singing again. "Oh, damn it all..." he said to himself as he let go of the cabinet and lied down on the floor. _"Damn it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall..."_ he sung out drunkenly as he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

Pikachu jumped over Jack's unconscious body and continued to be a healthy kind of merry. Suddenly, he stopped dancing, posed in front of the main entrance of the pub, and exclaimed, "PIKACHU PIKA PIKA!"

The doors flew open as Ness and Larry burst onto the scene, decked out in Christmas attire, and holding Christmas décor. "CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAS!" the two yelled out as the began running around, throwing decorations everywhere, turning the place into a drunk-people-smelling Christmas wonderland.

"What the heck!" exclaimed Cloud as Pikachu pulled a can of fake snow out of his Santa hat and began spraying it all over him.

"Oh, they do this every year." Snake said while he and his girlfriend tried to dodge the candy canes Larry was throwing at them. "Every December, on a random day before Christmas, these three suddenly start decorating the mansion with red and green. Last year they almost burned down this damn place."

"-And it was fun!" Ness added, standing on the bar. "Happy Birthday, Jesus! Yeeeeah!" he jumped down and threw red streamers everywhere.

It was a good thing he got off the bar when he did. Because suddenly, out of thin air, Lucina, Dark Pit, Peach, and Mario fell onto it.

"WHAT THE F***!" screamed Cloud, shocked by the sudden fact his drink came with a side of Smashers. He leaned back on impulse and fell off his chair and onto the floor.

Dark Pit, who was underneath Lucina, looked over and saw Cloud's overly-confused face. "Hey," he waved at his fellow Smasher. "Are you new?"

Cloud stared at the anti-hero for a moment, trying to make sense of what just happened. But he decided screw that, ignored Dark Pit, and rolled on over to the Snake and Bayonetta's booth. "What the heck was that?" he asked, lying on his belly, pointing at the pile of Smashers on the bar counter.

"No idea." answered Snake, finishing off his beer. "I'm guessing portal travel. But those four are Smashers like us, and they've been gone for a awfully long time."

"Like a year," Larry chipped in as he rode pass, with Ness on his back, chucking Christmas tree ordainments everywhere.

Pikachu stopped spraying the place and looked up at the counter. He saw Dark Pit just lying there on his side, with Lucina's head resting on him. She muttering something like, "Screw her, screw her, screw her," over and over again to herself with her eyes closed, seeming not aware that the portal traveling was over. Peach was lying on her back, relieved that she and Mario were safe, with Mario in her arms, finally conscious again, relieved that they were finally home.

"PIKA!" Pikachu exclaimed as he jumped from a bar stool to the counter, rushing up to Mario, his fellow Original _Seven, _and gave him a big hug. Mario hugged back without having to let go of Peach. The three looked very happy.

"Why, hello there! Welcome back!" Bayonetta wiggled her fingers at the pile of Smashers.

"Long time no see, you guys." Snake said, standing up to walk over to the pile of Smashers. "Some of us have missed you; and some of us haven't. Heh heh." The spy rubbed the back of his neck in uncomfortable-ness.

"Heeeeey," Ness said as he ran up and climbed onto a stool. "Where's Link? And Little Mac? Where's everyone?"

Snake looked over the pile of Smashers. "Yeah... And where's our writer, Ants? She went out to find all of you. Where is she? Did you see her?"

Lucina slowly raised her head at the sound of the last question. She locked eyes with Snake and sneered, _"Oh you have no **f***ing** idea_,"

* * *

**This chapter is literally the size of three chapters. MERRY CHRISTMAS! YEEEEEAH!**

**So, I hope you all like this one. I realize that it got really dark halfway through, and it's got me questioning myself. Has my writing gotten darker lately? *Rereads again and snorts at the very thought of Jack Sparrow being at freaking Smash Mansion* Then again, maybe I'm fine...**

**Hey, if you want, please let me know through a review and/or PM a name of a video games you looove. I'd like to know what games you guys are into for a chapter I'm writing later -besides Super Smash Bros, of course. From Mega Man to Hello Neighbor, ****please**** let me know!**

**Shout out to **DjBennyD**! Thank you soooo much for being such a huge fan of the fanfic! Oh, and to answer your question about where I get my inspiration and such, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I've been wondering that myself! I kinda just come up with a idea, and just wing it. If something works, I got with it. If that something leads me to a writers block, I just come up with something else that works and I want to write and then go with that. **

**As for the fate of the rest of the Smashers... You're just going to have to wait and see... *Tries to do evil laugh, but instead coughs like a car horn.***

**Thanks you all again for reading! I hope you have a merry Christmas! God bless you all!**


	41. Chapter Forty: A Boy Named Tank

One day, a little boy named Tank left home to find a certain shop owner. His father had given him some rubies in a sack and told him to find the shop owner, for this man was the only one who could possibly have what they needed. The father also told Tank to not tell anyone but the shop man what they needed, or else he might get in trouble. The boy understood; he would never want anything bad to happen to his dad. He then put on his cloak which his mother made him and started his journey.

After walking for quite some time, Tank found himself in front of an old run down shop. There were overgrown vines and bushes all around it, giving it this abandoned feeling. One of the two windows were broken, and on the front door of the store, there was a sign. The sign was hung up there by a single nail, and it reads "Closed Forever". The only way the little boy could tell the place was not abandoned was that if you looked through the broken window, inside you'll see a little table with a single candle on it, lit, flickering from the breeze coming through said window.

You all know who's store this is.

Tank opened the front door, which squeaked awfully as he did so, and went inside. There were old, moldy boxes scattered about, with holes all over them from the mice trying to eat them. Tank was careful to hold up the end of his cloak so it wouldn't drag on the floor because somehow the carpet was moldier than the boxes. Parts of the room were blackened from someone trying to burn the place down, but it wasn't as bad as the random piles of trash that were cluttering the place. -But Tank didn't really take much noticed to all this disgusting-ness. He was focused on one thing.

It was the Happy Mask Salesman lying in the center of the room, on the floor.

Tank, standing behind a pile of boxes, stared at the sad little man from afar. He recalled his father telling him the shop owner he needed to find gave off a vibe of sadness and forgotten-ness, as if the universe got bored with him and decided to just throw him in some random abandoned building and forget about him. Tank studied HMS, in hopes that this man was the right loser.

HMS was lying on his back on the disgusting floor, staring at the ceiling as if he was studying it. He was as tattered and scary, just like when we last saw him; but for some reason, he now had his humongous backpack back, and it was lying next to him on the ground.

Yup. This was the guy.

Tank walked around the pile of boxes and approached the loser. But when he was only three feet away, Happy Mask stopped him. "No! Please, uh, don't come any closer." HMS commanded the boy. He held his hand out to stop Tank, but he made sure not to make eye contact. "Just let me be, child. Just let me be alone."

Hearing this, Tank rolled his eyes. There was now absolutely no doubt in his mind that this was the right loser. Sighing, he remembered what his father told him: If the shop man was doing an act (pretending he had no idea what a shop is, being overly depressing, ect.), all Tank had to do was say the right code-phrase and HMS will snap out of it and give him what he needed.

He walked up closer to the shop man. Standing over him, he said, "All I ask is, met with this fate, that it be merely for a short time."

Happy Mask Salesman sat so quickly at the sound of this phrase that if you blinked you would have missed it. "Damn. Took you long enough to say it." He jumped up from the ground and kicked aside some boxes. With only one hand, he picked up his backpack and threw it on. He then walked over to the door that led to the backroom and motioned the boy to follow.

Placing his hands on the door, the shop man decided to size up his new customer before showing him what that code-phrase has granted him access to. Tank stood next to HMS with somewhat-decent posture. His hair was blond and messy. He was merely four feet tall and his cloak covered the rest of his outfit.

"You're... You're a bit young to know about my place, sir." HMS said, still looking Tank over.

Tank looked down to his feet at this sentence. He rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously as he said, "...My dad sent me and told me what to do..."

HMS perked up a bit at this. "Ah! Of course," he said as threw open the door.

The inside of the backroom was quite a sight. Tank's mouth hung open as step inside, careful not to step on anything; because that would be easy to do, considering there were things piled up to the ceiling. The dark backroom, that was only lit by a few scattered torches hung on the walls, had a large rug in the middle of it and against the walls were piles and piles of valuables of all shapes, sizes, and uses. From priceless chandeliers to ancient paintings, rugs from royal chambers to paintings from museums, you name it, HMS probably had it. But the product he had most of was weaponry. A crap ton of weaponry.

"These are all stolen, aren't they?" Tank asked once he picked up his jaw.

HMS slowly turned to Tank, crooked his head, and asked back, "You came here for something I stole, didn't you?"

Looking down at his feet again, Tank sighed. "Yeah..." he answered, kicking some dust up. "I... My dad needs some weaponry. Preferably the special stuff."

HMS stroked his chin as he walked about, looking over his inventory. "What will the 'special stuff' be for?"

At the questioning of this, Tank made eye contact with the shop man for the first time. "The kind that can break my mother out of jail," he answered, tugging at the chest strings of his cloak.

"Ahhh. Gotcha." Happy Mask said, right before walking into a huge, ancient vase and almost breaking it with his knee. "Okay," he muttered as he got the vase back upright. "I got many of special stuff to break people out of imprisonment. Even some special people. But what I provide you with all depends on one thing:" He turned over to Tank, bent down to his level, put out both of his hands, and said, "How much money do you got?"

"Quite a lot, actually." Tank replied. He reached for the pocket inside his cloak and pulled out a little sack. He placed it in HMS hands. "My father said this should be enough to get what we need, but if it's not he can give you, even more, payment after we get my ma back."

HMS raised an eyebrow at this sentence. He opened the sack and at the sight of all the rubies his eyes made dollar signs. He cleared his throat. "Hmmm... Yes, yes, this should be enough for you to get the stuff you need." HMS replied, trying to sound cool and calm. "In fact, sir, with this kind of money, you can even rent one of my prisoners!"

Before Tank could freak out at the very thought of renting some_one_, HMS grabbed the rug in the middle of the room and pulled it away, revealing a giant hole in the floor. It was about eight feet wide, fifteen feet deep, and at the bottom of it was _the five smashers that have yet to be saved from Termina._

"So, do you want to rent one or not?" HMS asked as he posed like a game show host in front of the hole. "Because I got some great grappling hooks if you have too much good nature to actually rent a human."

_"Help us!"_ Little Mac screamed from inside the hole.

* * *

**What's going to happen next, you wonder? Are the five Smashers okay? Will Tank actually rent a Smasher? Where am I and Ben Drowned during all this? Is Ben Drowned a Hello Neighbor fan? All these questions and more_ might actually_ be answered in the next chapter of A Taste of Smashiness! *Confetti***

**Shout out time: Hiya, **Derpy 2.0**, how's it going? Thanks for all the reviews, Derpy! I've read every single one of them. And as for all your questions: I don't think even a bet could make these guys civil for a minute; bronies, like any other fandom, have good and bad sides, but I think they are mostly okay-ish (my sister use to be a brony, actually); the fanfic is called "****Wii Fit Trainer's Farting Problem", and it currently has over 70 freaking chapters (God help us all.), this is actually my first chapter of using Grammarly; thank you for noticing my improvements did not need Grammarly, I actually only got it because I just got Chrome and it's free on it; and I understand your Full House and Fuller House opinion, I actually don't like Fuller House and might only love Full House because I grew up with the show. **

**(If you just read that and were not Derpy 2.0 and have no idea what I was going on about at all, I suggest checking out the reviews for this fanfic. You'll probably imminently get it.)**

**Happy New Year, everybody! Damn. 2016 was one _heck of a long_ year. I swear we should all get free t-shirts that say "I Survived 2016" in the mail.**


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